


How Do We Fix What's Broken

by Sweetgirl2019



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Drinking, Heartbreak, M/M, Romance, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-03-20 15:37:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 65,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18995539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweetgirl2019/pseuds/Sweetgirl2019
Summary: Picks up where the finale ended. The aftermath of everything that happened. Lots of angst and a violent exchange in the first chapter.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Malex has seriously taken over my heart and soul, haven't they? Honestly, if they don't reunite at some point, I'll be so upset. At least I know I won't be alone in this!

*****

 

                Alex stared at the half empty bottle of whisky he had dug out of the pantry, desperate to numb the open wound inside him. He had spent all day outside Michael’s trailer, waiting for the other man to come home but he never did. When the cold desert air got too much for his sore leg after waiting eight hours, Alex had eventually given up and left. Driving home in silence, a part of him longed to drown himself in cheap beer and a friendly face. When he parked outside the Wild Pony, the lot was completely dead. Preoccupied with his thoughts, he had missed Michael’s truck parked on the side under a canopy of trees. Quietly pulling the door open, he had frozen just inside when his eyes caught hold of them. Maria was leaning back against the bar holding Michael’s face as they traded kisses.                    
              
               Feeling the remaining bits of his heart shatter from realization, he had slowly backed out of the bar and stumbled towards his truck again, unable to recount how he’d managed to drive home in his broken state. Staggering inside his cabin, he had lowered his body onto the couch before the tears he had been holding burst out of him. He had spent the next hour suffering through the different stages of grief, first denying what he’d seen had actually happened, then destroying his bedroom as anger took hold of him. His sobs had returned as he sat on his couch again, blaming himself for everything that had happened before his aching heart accepted that he’d finally lost him. When all that was left was an ache he couldn’t escape, he’d raided his pantry and found the whisky. All he wanted was for the pain to end.

                ********

                “No, he can’t be dead!” Michael shouted, pushing past a sobbing Liz and grabbing Max by his jacket. “Dammit, open your eyes!”

                “Michael,” Isobel cried.

                She reached out for him but he pulled out of her reach and shook Max over and over again.

                “He’s _gone_ ,” Isobel whispered, pleading with him to let Max go.

                Raising his wrecked gaze, he focused on his crying sister before his eyes scanned to Liz and Rosa gripping one another through their tears. He finally looked at Maria who was  watching the scene unfold in stunned silence, her eyes darting between the suddenly alive Rosa before coming back to him.

               “He’s gone,” Isobel repeated, clutching Max’s limp hand in he own.  

                Maria approached him slowly, reaching for him with a gentle hand but he instantly flinched away from her touch. She watched him with pleading eyes as he stumbled backwards.

               “Michael, wait!” Isobel shouted but he was already running through the desert towards his truck, unable to control the grief inside him.

  
               ********

               “Hey,” Kyle greeted when he walked in, taking in the scene with a frown. “Party of one?”

               Alex lowered the whisky bottle, now only a third of it left and sighed. “Trust me, I wish I could get drunk but sadly, I have a high tolerance for alcohol.”

               Pushing the cork back in place, he tossed the bottle onto the empty armchair across from him.

               “I don’t even feel anything.”

               “Are you okay?” Kyle asked him, approaching slowly.

               Alex looked up at him with dead eyes. “What do you need?”

               “It’s not what I need, it’s what I need to _tell_ you,” Kyle said as he sat on the coffee table. “Your dad tried to kill me today.”

               “What?” Alex demanded, his heartache taking a sudden backseat to the new information. “What the hell happened?”

               “The whole day I felt like someone was following me and I was right. He snuck up on me and shot me but I was wearing a bullet proof vest.”

               “Kyle,” Alex said, reaching out to grip his arm. “Are you okay?”

               Smiling at the worry he heard, Kyle nodded. “A bit freaked out but I’m fine. You should have seen the look on his face when I jumped back up and injected a paralysis drug into him.”

               “He’s paralyzed?”

               “Yeah, but not for long. Maybe a day or so. Just enough for me to leave and hopefully, I scared him,” Kyle sighed. “But I wanted you to know. Keep your eyes open.”

               Alex rubbed his tired face as he leaned back in his seat.

               “So how was _your_ day?” Kyle asked as Alex laughed.

               “Nothing compared to yours.”

               Kyle motioned the almost empty bottle behind them. “Something must have happened if it got you drinking that heavily.”

               “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it,” Alex dismissed.

               “Alex, look at me,” Kyle said as the other man lifted his gaze. “Talk to me. Tell me what happened.”

               “Just some stuff with Guerin.”

               When he saw the pointed look on Kyle’s face, Alex deflated.

               “We were supposed to talk today about a lot of stuff, about us. My timing’s not the best considering what just happened at Caulfield,” Alex shook his head before his shoulders slumped. “But he didn’t show. I waited all day and he didn’t show. I went to the Wild Pony to have a drink and saw him and Maria kissing at the bar.”

                Kyle’s brows shot up in surprise.

               “Since getting drunk there wasn’t an option, figured I’d do it here,” Alex smiled but the sadness in his eyes betrayed him. “But I can’t feel anything right now. I’m just numb.”

               “I’m sorry, man.”

                Alex took in the genuine sincerity he heard and nodded.

                “Doesn’t matter,” he finally said, desperate to change the topic. “We have to do something about my dad, Kyle. It can’t keep going like this. He’s responsible for so much.”

                Before Kyle could answer, his phone vibrated in his pocket.

                “It’s a text from Liz. Says she needs me.”

                “Go, we’ll talk later,” Alex said as he pushed Kyle towards the door.

                “Are you sure? I can stay.”

                “I’m fine,” Alex assured him. “Please, go.”

                 Although Kyle didn’t believe him, he nodded once and left the cabin. Once he disappeared down the road, Alex shut the door and rubbed the sore muscles in his neck. As he moved back towards the couch, the door burst open and Michael stormed inside. They stared at one another for a long moment, neither moving until Alex broke the silence.

                “What are you doing here?”

                “Why was Valenti here?” Michael asked instead, a wild look in his eyes.

                “He came to talk,” Alex said, feeling his heartache hit him all over again. “Why are you here, Guerin?”

                “You two are getting pretty friendly, aren’t you?” Michael spat out, taking a step towards him. “Have a lot of late night visits?”

                “What are you…?” Alex started before his grief disappeared and anger took over. “Are you seriously acting jealous right now?”

                “I hate how he’s all over you,” Michael continued as if he hadn’t spoken.

                 When he looked up to meet Alex’s confused gaze, the rough look in Michael’s eyes made Alex choke on the response he wanted to give.

                “No one gets to touch you like that,” Michael growled. “No one but me.”

                Before Alex could question him, Michael had pressed their lips together in a bruising kiss.

                Pushing Michael off him, Alex took an angry step back. “What the hell are you doing!”

                “I need you,” Michael whispered, the craziness in his eyes replaced so suddenly with grief that Alex felt his head spin.

                “Guerin, what’s going on? What happened?”

                “I need you, please,” he sobbed, pushing Alex against the wall and wrapping his arms around him.

                “You need to talk to me. Tell me what happened,” Alex pleaded, keeping his hands at his sides.

                “Max…Max is…”

                Alex pushed him back far enough to grip the sides of his face.

                “Max is dead?” he asked quietly.

                 When Michael shut his eyes and nodded, Alex ran his hands down Michael’s neck and squeezed before reaching for his phone.

                “What are you doing?” Michael asked him, his face stained from tears.

                “I’m calling Isobel.”

                “No!” Michael snapped, grabbing the phone and tossing it on the couch behind them. “I need _you_.”

                 “Guerin, please, you have to let me call her, okay?”

                 “I don’t need her! I don’t need anyone but _you_!”

                 Alex shut his eyes for a brief moment and clenched his fists at his sides to stop his body from shaking. If the exchange had happened that morning, before Alex had seen him and Maria, he would have jumped at the chance to comfort and be close to him. Now, everything had changed.

                 “You’re grieving,” he finally said as he opened his eyes and met Michael’s heated gaze. “You aren’t thinking straight.”

                 “I need to feel you, Alex, all around me. I need you to make it quiet.”

                 Alex swallowed hard but used his hands to push Michael away.

                 “I'm so sorry about Max. I'm _so_ sorry,” he whispered. “But we can’t do this, okay? You can stay here if you need to and we can talk but…”

                 “You’re turning me down?” Michael laughed. “I didn’t come here to talk, Private. I came to bury myself in the closest warm body I could find and forget for a few minutes.”

                 Alex took a deep breath to keep his anger buried. “Three hours ago you were at the bar kissing Maria.”

                 He saw the awareness in Michael’s gaze before his eyes hardened.

                 “I can’t be that for you anymore,” Alex whispered.

                 Michael squared his jaw and took a step back. “I just wanted a body to screw but you’re right. Why did I come here? I should go to Maria. She’ll take care of me.”

                 Alex took a gasping breath as his face crumpled at the words. Michael swallowed hard, knowing how much his words had hurt him but he couldn’t bring himself to take them back.

                “Let me call Isobel,” Alex said as he numbly moved past Michael towards his phone.

                “Don’t bother,” Michael spat, unable to handle the broken look in Alex’s eyes, knowing he was the one that put it there.

                Pushing past him, he made his way outside and quickly sped away. He was several miles towards town when his tears finally hit him. Parking on the side of the road, he reached for his dashboard and pulled his stash of nail polish remover. Drowning himself in the bitter taste, he leaned his head back against his seat and squeezed his eyes shut.

                Wiping his own tears, Alex sat on the couch, ignoring his vibrating phone on the other chair. With his eyes closed and his mind all over the place, he didn’t hear the intruder until something sharp had struck him on the back of the head. Shouting in pain, he tumbled to the floor and rolled over to see his father standing over him. Jesse kneeled across his son and hit him square across his jaw before he lifted Alex by his torso and slammed him hard against the hardwood floor. Alex groaned as he rolled onto his side, feeling the blood already pooling behind his head.

                “Dad…,” he choked on the word but all it did was anger the other man.

                “You think you can destroy my life’s work?” he shouted, pulling Alex on his back before he let his fist collide with his son’s face again. “If you ever get in my way again, so help me, Alex, you will pay.”

                 He gripped Alex by his throat and squeezed the air from his lungs, his fingers leaving bruises against the skin. Alex struggled under him for several seconds before Jesse finally relented but instead of moving away, he roughly slammed his son against the floor again. Coughing up blood, Alex tilted on his side and barely had a chance to raise his arms in defense before Jesse kicked him hard in his chest, the next two kicks landing at his ribs. Curling in on himself, he took a ragged breath as his eyes struggled to stay open. Standing straight, Jesse stared at his broken son for a moment before he reached down and tore the prosthetic off his leg. Shattering it into pieces across his thigh, he stared at the stump when Alex looked up at him. His eyes pleaded ‘no’ but Jesse had already raised his foot and crashed it down over the edge of the wounded leg. A blood curdling scream tore from Alex’s throat as his trembling fingers reached down to grip the injured stump.

                “Let that be your last warning.”

                Taking a few deep breaths, Jesse tossed the pieces of the prosthetic to the ground before limping his way out of the cabin. Covered in a pool of his own blood, Alex shut his eyes and sobbed in the silence around him.

                 ********

                "Are you going to explain to me what's going on?" Maria demanded, facing Isobel as they waited outside the Airstream. "What happened to Max? How is _Rosa_ alive?"  
  
                "Can't you feel it with your powers?" Isobel spat back. "My  _brother_ just died and my other brother is who knows where! I'm sorry if explaining the truth to you is low on my priority list."  
  
                Before either could continue, the sound of squealing brakes made them face the road leading to the trailer. Climbing out of his truck, Michael slowly made his way towards the Airstream, ignoring Isobel and Maria as they both called out to him.

                “Michael,” Maria tried again as she reached out but he numbly pushed past her into his trailer.

                “Why don’t you leave?” Isobel asked as they faced one another, her eyes red from crying. “This is a family matter.”

                “I’m his girlfriend,” Maria defended.

                 Isobel watched her for a moment before a crazy laugh escaped her. Running her hands through her hair, she shook her head and stepped back.

                “I can’t deal with this,” she whispered before climbing in her car and leaving.

                Maria waited outside by the fire for several minutes until the only sound she heard from inside was silence. Taking a deep breath, she walked into the trailer to see Michael passed out on his bed. Smiling softly through her sadness, she sat down beside him and ran a hand through his hair. When he called out for Alex moments later, she slowly pulled her hand away. When Michael reached across the empty space beside him and sighed Alex’s name, Maria stumbled out of the trailer and quietly closed the door as she left.

                ********

                The sun was shining brightly when Kyle barged inside the cabin hours later.

                “Alex, what’s going on? I…”

                The moment he laid eyes on the other man, he gasped and stumbled forward.

                “What the hell happened?” he asked, slowly kneeling beside him.

                Alex was sitting on the couch, blood caked to the side of his face and the back of his head, large purple bruises littering the skin of his neck as he cradled his ribs from the pain.

                “We need to get you to the hospital!”

                “No,” he croaked, slowly shaking his pounding head.

                “Alex, you could have a concussion or broken ribs or internal bleeding!” Kyle exclaimed, using gentle hands to look him over. “What happened? Who did this?”

                “No hospitals,” he whispered, his throat seizing from the pain every time he spoke.

                “Who did this to you?” Kyle asked again.

                “Who do you think?” he said, looking up at him with a broken expression that tugged at Kyle's heartstrings.

                Kyle sat stunned as he watched him, his eyes taking in the damage.

                “Is it because of what I did?”

                “My father’s biggest war is with _me_ ,” Alex moaned, pressing his hand against his ribs.

                Suddenly noticing the pants leg had been rolled up past the knee, Kyle stared down at the wounded end of his stump, now covered in dry blood with dark bruises settled into the skin.

                “What did he do to you?” Kyle whispered. “Alex, you could get an infection if we don’t clean this properly. You have to let me take you to the hospital. Please?”

                Taking a ragged breath, Alex finally nodded and pointed to the broken prosthetic. “I have another in the bedroom, the first one they gave me. Grab it.”

                Kyle rushed to the bedroom, taking in the ruined state before ripping through the closet. Finding the prosthetic lodged against the wall, he pulled it free and rushed back to the main room.

                “You can’t wear this right now. We need to disinfect the stump first.”

                Alex nodded again as he lifted a trembling arm towards Kyle. Pulling the arm across his shoulders, he slowly helped Alex through the cabin towards his truck outside. Going as gently as possible to avoid causing Alex any further pain, Kyle lowered him into the backseat. Before he started driving, he looked back at Alex with tears in his eyes.

               “I am _so_ sorry.”

               Unable to respond, Alex squeezed his eyes shut as Kyle drove away.

               “Distract me please,” he whispered. “What happened last night?”

               “Max was juiced up on whatever crazy power from killing Noah,” Kyle started.

               “Noah’s dead?” Alex asked in surprise as Kyle tossed him a quick glance.

               “He was the fourth alien.”

               Alex gasped before the pain in his throat made him cough.

               “Hey, take it easy. Don’t talk,” Kyle threw over his shoulder, reaching back to grip Alex’s hand.

               The contact made his fingers shake but he let the small comfort wash over him.

               “Max ended up doing something crazy that got him killed,” Kyle said before he looked back at Alex again. “He brought Rosa back. She was in one of those pods and he brought her back. She’s alive.”

               His eyes widened as he squeezed Kyle’s hand.

               “I shouldn’t have called you. I’m sorry. You were with your sister,” his voice cracked on every other word.

               “Just shut up,” Kyle replied, shaking his head as a new wave of tears filled his eyes. “I’m allowed to care about you both. She’s with Liz and their father. Right now, you’re my priority so just shut up.”

                Alex watched him from where he was lying and squeezed his hand again. When he felt Kyle squeeze back, he closed his eyes and let the tears he had been holding finally fall.

                ********

                Opening his eyes, Michael glanced at the space to his right, thinking for a moment that Alex had been curled up in bed, tucked away behind him. Sitting up with a sigh, he stared down at his healed hand and thoughts of Max rushed back to him. Shaking his head to push the thoughts away, he grabbed a case of beer and walked outside. Sitting in the cold desert air and feeling nothing but numbness, he opened his first drink and took a large sip.


	2. Chapter 2

*****

 

                Kyle helped him sit on the gurney before shutting the door behind them.

                “Take your shirt off and let me take a look.”

                Alex groaned as he slid his arms through the fabric and pulled it off his body, tossing it on the bed beside him. When Kyle wheeled back around to face him on the stool, he froze as his eyes slowly took in the bruises littering his ribs on both sides of his chest.

                “What did he do to you?” he whispered, meeting Alex’s wrecked gaze. “I have to feel around your ribs, make sure they’re not broken. It’ll hurt a bit.”

                “Just get it over with,” Alex breathed as he squeezed his eyes shut.

                Going as gently as he could, Kyle trailed his fingers across the delicate skin, apologizing every time Alex winced in pain.

                “I don’t think anything’s broken but we should still get an X-ray done just in case.”

                “I’ve had broken ribs before. I’m just bruised.”

                Kyle watched him for a long moment, letting the words settle in his heart as a new wave of shame filled him. All those years that Jesse had abused him, when Alex could have used Kyle’s support, instead he’d turned his back on his best friend. Instead, he’d insulted and bullied him. After spending the past few months together working on Project Shepherd, a part of him believed that Alex was on his way to forgiving him for everything that had happened but deep down, Kyle didn’t think he could ever forgive himself.

                “I’m not going to bandage you up. It’ll restrict you from breathing properly and place you at risk of developing pneumonia,” Kyle directed. “I’ll write you a prescription for pain meds but mostly, you need lots of rest and you have to restrict your movements for a few days.”

                “I don’t need the meds and I doubt I’ll get a chance to rest considering what our lives are right now,” he shook his head.

                “Alex, you have to take the meds. You’re just going to put yourself through unnecessary pain.”

                “No,” Alex said, his firm tone making Kyle pause. “After my leg, they put me on so many medications I lost count. For a while, I didn’t even feel like myself. I’ll take the pain over that feeling any day.”

                Kyle looked to the side and blinked several times before nodding. “Let me check your head.”

                Slowly tilting his body on the gurney, Alex lowered his head as Kyle gently examined the wound.

                “I’m going to have to clean the wound and stitch it up. Are you against morphine for that?”

                “No,” Alex whispered.

                Kyle spent the next ten minutes working in silence, his heart sinking as he watched Alex barely flinch when he put the stitches in. When he was done and the blood on the side of his face had also been cleaned away, he helped Alex lay back on the gurney.

                “Your lip’s a bit swollen. There's a small cut just above it. Want a small bandage?”

                Alex shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut, his hands clenching in the sheets beside him.

                “Hey, what is it? What’s wrong?” Kyle asked, reaching out to touch his arm.

                “My leg. It hurts but I never...I never let anyone touch…,” Alex let his sentence trail off.

                “Do you trust me?” Kyle asked quietly.

                With his eyes still shut, Alex nodded once.

                “I need to take your pants off, okay? They’re bloody so not exactly salvageable anyway.”

                Alex nodded again and Kyle unbuckled the belt and pulled the pants off his good leg first before going even slower on the other.

                “We’re about the same size so you can borrow some spare clothes from my locker. I should have thought to bring some from the cabin. I’m sorry.”

                Reaching out blindly, Alex felt his way down Kyle’s arm until he gripped his hand. Staring at his broken friend, Kyle leaned forward and held their clasped hands over the bed.

                “I’m so sorry,” he said again and Alex understood all the different things he was apologizing for in that moment.

                Squeezing his hand a final time, Alex let him go and balled his fists against his eyes, desperate to keep his tears away when Kyle started examining the wounds on his stump.

                “I need to disinfect it.”

                He bit his lower lip for a moment before taking a deep breath and steadying himself. When Kyle administered the needle, a broken sob escaped Alex, his fists shaking over his face. Kyle moved as quickly as he could, cleaning the area before stitching the two open cuts. When he was finally done, he rid the supplies and reached down to lift Alex’s hands off his face.

                “You’re okay,” he promised.

                Nodding, Alex rose to sit on the bed and Kyle could see the moment his armour was back in place.

                “You need to stay off the prosthetic for a few days,” he ordered as he wrapped the stump with bandages. “We have your specs in the hospital database so I should be able to get you another one by tomorrow if I call a few favors in but until then, you’re on the crutches. Even after I get you the new one, I’d rather you didn’t use it. It’ll press against your wounds and could hurt you more.”

                “I’m used to pain, Kyle,” Alex said as he ran a hand through his hair.

                “That’s not what I wanted to hear. Not as your Doctor or as your best friend.”

                Alex looked up, startled at the words. “Best friend?”

                “Well, I figured Maria’s out of the running right now and Liz has been so preoccupied with her own crazy life that the two of you probably haven’t connected as much as you wanted. So I thought I’d toss my name up as consideration.”

                Alex watched him with an unreadable expression for several beats. When Kyle changed his footing and opened his mouth to apologize, Alex reached forward and pulled him in, pressing his face against Kyle’s chest.

                “Thank you,” he whispered, his voice small and vulnerable.

                Kyle smiled sadly and held him tight for several quiet seconds before they leaned back.

                “Let me go get you some clothes.”

                Left alone in the room, Alex ran a hand down towards his bandaged stump but retreated when his fingers began to shake. When Kyle returned with a dark sweater and black jeans tighter than even Alex would wear, he smiled gratefully and slowly got dressed as Kyle tidied the rest of the supplies. Offering him the crutches he had also brought in, Kyle held open the door and followed Alex back into the hallway.

                “This way,” he directed, motioning for Alex to follow him towards the end of the hall.

                They made a turn into another corridor before stopping outside a room. Looking behind Kyle’s shoulder to the brochure taped to the window, he shook his head.

                “No. I don’t need this. I’m fine.”

                “I’m not going to force you in there but I really think it could help you, especially after what just happened.”

                “I’ve tried counselling before, Kyle. Group therapy, one on one sessions. None of that helped me.”

                “Okay but Dr. Milton is one of the best there is in the State. Will you give it a try? Please?”

                Sighing tiredly, he pushed past Kyle and entered the room, pausing when he heard the door click shut behind him. An elderly Doctor was seated facing the door with the rest of the attendants in a circle around him.

                “You must be Captain Manes,” he greeted kindly.

                All eyes turned towards him. Alex quickly scanned the room and saw two men with missing limbs like him, a younger woman in a wheelchair and an elderly woman with an IV attached to her arm.

                “Dr. Valenti was hoping you would join us. Please have a seat, Captain.”

                “Alex,” he corrected.

                The Doctor’s smile warmed at the mention. “Alex. Please, have a seat.”

                Slowly making his way towards the only empty chair, he silently lowered himself into the seat. When he felt a pair of eyes on him, he lifted his gaze to see the Doctor staring at the bruises on his neck he’d forgotten.

                “Welcome, Alex,” the man spoke softly.

                Feeling his panic start to set it, he stumbled to his feet and backed away towards the door.

                “Son, this is a safe place. You don’t have to leave.”

                “I can’t do this,” he stuttered before he crashed out of the room.

                Kyle jumped to his feet in the waiting area but Alex hastily made his way down the hall, bursting into the men’s room at the end. Grateful that the stalls were empty, he stumbled towards one of the mirrors and dropped his crutches against the wall. Gripping the edges of the sink, he closed his eyes and took a deep, ragged breath.

                “You’re okay. Just breathe. You’re okay.”

                He kept repeating the words to himself, oblivious that Kyle had entered the restroom and was watching him from the doorway.

                “Just breathe. You’re okay.”

                When he finally felt his panic start to slow, he opened his eyes and glimpsed at himself for the first time. Taking in his hollow eyes and messy hair, his gaze traveled down to the bruises on his neck.

                “You're okay.”

                Releasing a deep breath, he forced his gaze away from the horrid reflection.

                “How long have you been like this?” Kyle asked quietly.

                “Since the first time he hit me when I was fifteen,” Alex answered honestly, missing the look of horror on Kyle’s face. “Eventually, I just got used to it but war brought it out again. It wasn’t too bad at first but after that day, when we were ambushed, we lost three men in our unit and my leg…”

                Sighing heavily, he rubbed at his tired eyes.

                “Counselling and therapy don’t help. I’ve never been very good at talking about things out loud,” he shrugged.

                “Alex…”

                “It’s fine. I know how to deal with the triggers, I try to do some meditating when I can. I’m working through it my own way,” he replied. “That’s my mantra. I use it when it gets bad and I’m usually able to pull myself out of it soon enough.”

                “Alex, you need to talk to someone,” Kyle tried again. “If not a Professional, then someone else. Anyone.”

                “Who do I have, Kyle?” Alex chuckled without humor. “You were right about me and Liz and that’s not on her. She’s had so much on her plate. We both got injected into our crazy lives this past year but the reality is because of all that, because of that distance, we’re not that close these days. I can’t exactly go to Maria now. She made a choice and she picked her own happiness. Am I mad at her? You can’t even imagine but it’s not like Guerin and I were together, right? Just because I always thought we were soulmates, I had no claims on him. So I don’t have her anymore either right now, and I lost _him_.”

                Kyle looked down as he spoke.

                “My mother is off in Arizona somewhere with her own people. Abandoned us when I was seven so outside of a couple phone calls every year where she cries, tells me she misses me on my birthday and at Christmas, there’s no real relationship there. My monster of a father just tried to kill you and me both within the span of a day which, great paralysis drug by the way. Didn’t even slow him down,” Alex smiled bitterly. “Two of my brothers pretend I’m dead and my last brother Flint, the only one I ever thought might actually give a damn about me was working for my father all this time at Caulfield. I can’t exactly depend on him considering who he was helping and what happened there. That leaves me you. The best friend I loved as a brother when we were kids who hurt me so bad in high school. You’re not the same guy, Kyle. That’s why I forgave you. But you’re it. So who can I talk to other than you?”

                Instead of answering, Kyle rushed forward and pulled Alex into an embrace. He struggled against the hold but deflated when Kyle tightened his arms.

                “You do have me, okay?” he promised.

                Alex shook his head when they leaned back. “What’s wrong with me? I’m not the one who just lost a brother.”

                “Hey!” Kyle caught his attention. “Don’t even try and measure your pain with anyone else’s. We’ve all suffered in our own ways, but don’t belittle anything you’ve been through. Anything you _just_ went through.”

                They held eyes for a long moment before Alex finally nodded and wiped his eyes.

                “Can we please get out of here now? I hate hospitals,” he sighed, grabbing his crutches and following Kyle towards his truck outside.

                “Do you want to go see Rosa?” Kyle asked when they were seated inside. “We can get some food first and then I’ll take you to see her?”

                Alex turned to him and gave his first real smile that day. “That would be nice. I’d like to see Liz too. We may not be as close as when we were kids but she’s hurting right now. If I can be there for her, I’d like to try.”

               *******

                Entering the Wild Pony, Michael made his way through the busy afternoon crowd and took his usual seat at the bar. He raised his tired eyes to Maria as she made her way towards him.

                “I was worried about you,” she started.

                “I’m here now,” he shrugged. “Can I get a drink? Whisky works.”

                She frowned for a moment before grabbing a bottle and pouring him a glass. Before she could get another word in, he grabbed the glass and took a large sip, turning his expression to the side.

                “Michael.”

                Taking a breath, he slowly faced her again.

                “We need to talk.”

                “I just want a drink right now. Can we leave it there?”

                “No,” she shook her head. “We really need to talk.”

                “Look, let me get a few in my system and then we can hang out after, okay?”

                She took in his dismissive words and swallowed hard.

                “I thought we were starting something,” she began as he sighed and looked down. “You came here because you wanted to be with me, didn’t you?”

                He watched her for several quiet seconds. A part of him wanted to get up and walk away but a bigger part wanted to tell her the truth that he had denied to himself when he had visited her that night. He had thought choosing Maria would give him a feeling of peace he desperately needed after everything that had happened. She was fun and separate from all the damage and pain in his life. But looking at her now and remembering how Alex had felt against him for those few brief moments at his cabin last night, he knew in his heart how wrong he’d been. But everything in his mind was a jumbled mess.

                “Do we need to have this talk right now? I kind of just went through something,” he finally said.

                 “Yeah, something that I still don’t understand,” she exclaimed before lowering her voice. “Like how Rosa is alive and looks like she did back then? Or why Max is dead?”

                “Look, you want answers, ask Liz. She’s your best friend, isn’t she?” Michael asked, climbing to his feet. “She’s the best person to ask about all this shit.”

                “Why can’t you tell me?” she asked quietly. “Aren’t you my boyfriend?”

                He froze at the words and slowly faced her. “We never…”

                “But that’s what you alluded to. You came here, Michael!”

                He swallowed hard before forcing a smile on his face. “Can’t we just do casual?”

                She took a step back and he could see the hurt look in her eyes.

                “Maybe you should leave.”

                “Maria, come on. I just lost my brother!” he exclaimed.

                “Please get out.”

                He watched her for a moment and scoffed before making his way towards the door, pushing past a group of burly men as he walked out. When he was midway through the parking, he felt a hand grab his arm and spin him around, bringing him face to face with the three men.

                “You need to watch yourself,” the first spat at him.

                “Yeah? What are you going to do about it, grandpa?” Michael goaded.

                Taking the bait the way Michael wanted, the man reached back and threw the first punch. Michael chuckled as he stumbled back a step, spitting the blood from his lip.

                “Is that all you got, old man?”

                The biker rushed forward and shoved Michael into the hard pavement before his fist collided with his face again. Michael laughed through the hits, setting the man off even more. When a set of lights flashed in the distance, his friends pulled the man off and they rushed towards their bikes, disappearing down the back road. Tilting on his side, he spat the blood from his mouth and leaned back on the pavement, a wild laughter escaping his throat as Sheriff Valenti stood over him.

                “Howdy, Sheriff,” he smiled.

                Kyle’s mom sighed before reaching down to lift him to his feet, glancing over his bruised face.

                “Who were your friends?”

                “No one, Ma’am,” he smirked.

                “Disturbing the peace again, Michael and drunk too. Let’s go,” she said, ushering him towards her squad car. “I’ll take you to the hospital.”

                “I’ve had worse,” he laughed. “No hospitals.”

                “Then the drunk tank it is until Isobel or Max can bail you out.”

                He whirled around to face her. “No. Leave them out of it.”

                She watched him for a moment before opening the back door and helping him in. Tilting his head back against the seat, he stared out the window as the Sheriff drove through town, the lights shining over his face as darkness surrounded the night sky.

                *******

                Rosa looked up from her seat beside her father and smiled when Kyle came into view. Learning she had an older brother, which was her sister’s ex-boyfriend no less, had sent Rosa’s mind into a spin but with everything that had happened, she was grateful for having one more person to call family. Arturo gave him a nod as he came through but he stepped aside and their eyes landed on Alex, limping in on crutches with a scarf wrapped around his neck. She gasped at the sight of him before she noticed the missing part of his leg. Back when they were kids, she had always been fond of Alex, taking him under her wing and teaching him about piercings and makeup when high school hit. They had shared a closeness that was separate from his friendship with Liz and that closeness had always been special to her.

                “Hi,” he breathed out. “I can’t believe you’re actually standing here.”

                “Hi to you too, Manes,” she grinned.

                Smiling at her voice, he met her halfway and she burrowed herself against his chest. He winced from the pain in his ribs but shook his head at Kyle when he came to pull her away. Instead, he gave him one of the crutches and balanced himself on his good leg as his free arm wrapped around her.

                “You must have so many questions,” he said when she leaned back. “Kyle doing a good job filling in the blanks?”

                “He’s not the same tool I remember from high school,” she teased as Kyle rolled his eyes between them. “A lot’s changed with you too, it seems. What’s with the leg?”

                “Rosa!” Arturo scolded.

                “It’s okay,” Alex chuckled. “It’s refreshing, actually.”

                She smiled sheepishly as he sighed.

                “Met a boy, fell in love, broke up due to psychopathic father. Enlisted, went to war, lost the leg, came back, reconnected with the guy again, walked away because of my multitude of issues, thought I could get him back, lost him to one of my closest friends and now here we stand.”

                “Michael Guerin, right?” she asked as he chuckled in surprise. “I remember the way you used to look at him when you thought no one was watching.”

                “You’d already graduated,” Kyle frowned.

                “Doesn’t mean I didn’t sneak in once in a while,” she grinned.

                Arturo grumbled in Spanish as he made his way out of the room.

                “How are you, really?” Alex asked.

                She sighed and shrugged her shoulders. “I’ve been dead for ten years. I woke up and suddenly my younger sister has a decade on me and I have a brother now too. Aliens exist and the girl I thought was my friend back then, but was actually possessed by her future alien husband, was the one who killed me.”

                “Isobel,” Kyle reminded him.

                “Now my sister’s love is dead because he brought me back. Not sure how to feel about anything.”

                Reaching out, Alex hugged her again and she smiled against him.

                “Where is she?” he asked, leaning back.

                “In the bedroom,” Rosa pointed down the hall.

                Giving her a final smile, he took both crutches and made his way down the hall, stopping inside the furthest bedroom. Liz was on the bed, faced away from the door, curled in on herself. Sighing softly, he took in her presence and his heart ached knowing their friendship had suffered over the years, putting distance between them. Making his way over, he let the crutches lean against the wall before slowly climbing onto the bed. Taking one of the pillows and stuffing it under his ribs, he turned on his side to face her.

                “Liz.”

                Stiffening at the voice, she slowly turned around until she was facing him, her eyes red from tears. His heart went out to her in an instant, forgetting the distance between them as he reached out to pull her in. She went against him easily, burying her face against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her.

                “I’m so sorry,” he whispered against her hair.

                She continued to cry and he rubbed her back in comfort until her sobs began to calm.

                “I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel,” she said, leaning back to meet his eyes. “Max died but my sister is here in his place. I’m so heartbroken but happy at the same time.”

                “Kyle explained everything with Noah on the way here. I’m so sorry.”

                Liz smiled as she took in his appearance.

                “What’s with the scarf?” she asked and he recognized her need to change the subject. “Dressing up for someone?”

                He scoffed at her suggestion. “Those days are finished.”

                She watched him for a moment before she wiped at her eyes. “Who?”

                “Doesn’t matter anymore.”

                “Is it Michael?”

                The flutter in his lashes made her smile.

                “Maria mentioned something a few days ago. She said he was your Museum Guy,” she chuckled before realization dawned on her. “I gave her advice. I told her…”

                “It’s okay,” he shook his head, understanding what she meant.

                “Did Michael love you too?”

                “I thought he did but with everything that happened, I understand why he chose her,” he said sadly. “Doesn’t mean I’m okay with it or that I’m not angry still but what else can I do other than accept it? Especially now. I’m not going to throw a tantrum or lash out. He just lost his brother right after losing his mother. He deserves any happiness he can find, no matter who it's with.”

                “Alex, I’m so…”

                “Liz, stop,” he cut her off. “None of that matters right now.”

                She sighed but eventually nodded, reaching between them to cover his hand with hers.

                “How are you, though?” she asked, meeting his gaze again. “I never asked you, did I?”

                “What do you mean?” he frowned.

                “Alex, you went to war. You fought three tours overseas. You lost your leg and received the Air Force Medal of Honor,” she said, shaking her head. “I never asked you how you are.”

                “I’m fine,” he lied, trying his best to give her a reassuring smile.

                “No, you’re not,” she replied. “We may not be as close as we were back then but some things I can still read in your eyes and you’re not fine.”

                He licked his lips and looked up at the ceiling. “One day we’ll talk about me but I came here to see Rosa and you, okay?”

                She smiled sadly before lowering her face against his shoulder. They stayed that way for several minutes, lying together in silent comfort when Kyle and Rosa joined them, taking their seats at the end of the bed. Before either could comment, Alex felt his phone vibrate and dug it from his pockets.

                “Hello? Oh hi…”

                His brows furrowed as he listened to the other end.

                “Alright, I’ll be there shortly. Thank you.”

                “Everything okay?” Kyle asked once he’d hung up.

                “Yeah, I have to get to the base,” he said, slowly sitting up.

                “Now? It’s practically night,” Kyle frowned.

                “Yes, Mom, now,” Alex threw back, making Rosa laugh and even Liz managed a smile.

                Narrowing his eyes, Kyle dug his keys from his pocket. “I’ll take you.”

                “No, it’s fine. I’ll borrow your car if that’s okay?”

                “Alex, you can’t drive right now.”

                “The other prosthetic is in the car, remember?”

                “I told you that you shouldn’t…”

                “Kyle,” he cut him off. “I’ll be fine.”

                Sighing in defeat, Kyle gave him the keys as he turned towards Liz.

                “I’m sorry I have to go.”

                “It’s okay. Thank you for coming,” she smiled up at him.

                Leaning down, he pressed a kiss to her forehead before using his crutches to stand. Moving to Rosa, he kissed her head too as she gave him a small, grateful smile.

                “I’m not kissing you,” he told Kyle.

                “Who said I wanted one!”

                Alex ignored his shouts as he left the apartment. Climbing behind the wheel, he pushed the seat back and grabbed the old prosthetic from the backseat. Wincing from the pain, he attached it to his leg and secured it in place. When the edge pressed against his stump, he leaned his head back against the seat and took several deep breaths. Once his body was able to handle the pain, he adjusted his seat and drove towards the Sheriff’s station. Still using his crutches, he made his way into the building and stopped when he saw Michael spread out on the bench inside the cage.

                “Found him outside the Wild Pony,” Sheriff Valenti said as she walked towards him. “Some guys beat him up but he couldn’t name them. Seemed drunk and was just laughing. Thought I’d bring him here but I do need to file the paperwork.”

                “How much to bail him out?” Alex asked, his eyes never leaving the other man.

                “Nine hundred,” she smiled in apology.

                He gave her his card and she sat at the first empty desk to get the papers started.

                “Have you heard anything from Max?” she asked, the words making Alex face her. “He took a vacation week but I just called this morning to check on him and he hasn’t called me back yet.”

                “He’s been spending all his time with Isobel,” he lied. “She needs a lot of support right now.”

                She smiled at his answer and completed the rest of the paperwork, swiping his card on the machine.

                “Why did you call me?”

                She looked up as the receipt printed. “What do you mean?”

                “Why did you call _me_?”

                “I offered to call Max and Isobel first but he was adamant that I leave them alone,” she replied, moving towards him. “He didn’t want me calling anyone at all but he just looked so sad, different from the cocky Michael I used to lock up. I dug through his wallet when he passed out to see if there was any other contact information and your number was the only one I found.”

                Extending her arm, she smiled kindly and pressed an item into his hand. Frowning, he looked down and gasped when he saw a small photo of himself from high school, staring at the camera as he played his guitar. That had been their last night together before Alex had told Michael he’d enlisted. Stunned at the picture, he turned it around and saw his cell number scribbled on the back. When he swallowed and looked up, the Sheriff's smile had softened.

                “Do you want me to wake him up?”

                “No,” he said, handing her the photo. “Would you mind if he slept it off here? Just let him go in the morning.”

                She hesitated for a moment before nodding.

                “Can I sit with him for a second?”

                Her smile grew as she moved to unlock the cage. “I’ll give you a few minutes.”

                Once she was gone down the hall, Alex sat on the edge of the bench beside Michael’s head as he laid on his side, fast asleep. He let his eyes scan over the bruises on his face and the splatter of blood that hadn’t been cleaned away yet. Sighing sadly, he lowered his hand to the curls and rubbed his thumb across the warm skin of his forehead. When Michael leaned against the touch in his sleep, Alex quietly moved his hand away. Leaning his head back against the wall, he released a deep breath and let Michael’s quiet breathing soothe him.

 


	3. Chapter 3

*****

 

                Waking up with a groan, Michael rolled onto his back and blinked his eyes at the ceiling above. Once he was sure his head had stopped spinning, he slowly rose from the bench and sighed when he took in his surroundings.

                “Good Morning, Michael,” Sheriff Valenti smiled, taking a sip of her coffee.

                “Did you arrest me last night?”

                “Yes I did, drunk and disorderly,” she nodded before sighing. “Do you want to tell me what happened? You were doing so well for a few months. I was happy not having to see your face in this cage. Ever since your high school reunion, I think.”

                He looked away at her words, knowing the reasons but not willing to admit them to his arresting officer. Before she could question him further, the door swung open and Isobel walked inside. Meeting Michael’s gaze across the room, she shook her head and faced the Sheriff.

                “Thanks for calling. How much to bail him out?”

                “None, actually. Alex Manes bailed him out last night but Michael was already sleeping so he asked me to let him stay.”

                Michael’s gaze intensified at the revelation, a mix of anger and embarrassment filling him from the thought of Alex seeing him that way.

                “Poor boy was on both crutches again, limping something awful,” the Sheriff sighed as she unlocked the cage.

                “I thought he’d gotten used to his prosthetic,” Isobel looked at Michael.

                “I don’t know. Just looked like he hadn’t slept in days,” she replied, smiling at Michael. “You’re free to go, young man. I don’t want to see you back here again.”

                He ignored her eyes as he made his way out of the building, Isobel rushing out after him.

                “Michael, stop!” she pleaded, spinning him around before he reached his truck. “You can’t keep doing this. You need to talk about Max. _We_ need to talk about Max!”

                “Talk about what, Isobel?”

                “I haven’t told our parents yet,” she said, her eyes beginning to water. “We just put him in one of our pods after you left. I don’t know what to do.”

                “I _don’t_ care.”

                Her anger returned as she crossed her arms at her chest.

                “Want to talk about Alex then?” she demanded, ignoring his sudden glare. “Want to tell me why Maria claims she’s your girlfriend when not three days ago you were telling me how much you loved Alex?”

                “That’s none of your business, Isobel.”

                “Well, you won’t talk to me about Max! Might as well talk about this!”

                “I don’t want to talk about _anything_ ,” he snapped, moving past her and climbing into his truck, ignoring her pleas as he drove away.

                Sighing tiredly, she let her legs drag her towards her car and drove aimlessly around town before parking outside the Wild Pony. Staring at the front doors for several minutes, unsure what had led her there, she finally pulled the doors open and barged inside.

                “We’re closed!” Maria exclaimed, glancing up from behind the bar. “What are you doing here?”

                “I need a drink,” Isobel said, ignoring the look on the other woman’s face as she stretched behind the bar and grabbed the first bottle she could reach.

                “Really runs in the family, doesn’t it?” Maria mumbled.

                “You have no idea,” Isobel replied, swallowing her first sip straight from the bottle. “Can I ask you something?”

                An angry comeback was as the tip of her tongue but Maria swallowed her words, remembering that Isobel had just lost her brother the other day.

                “Why are you into Michael?”

                “It’s none of your business,” she stuttered.

                “Come on, Maria. It’s just us here, old enemies,” Isobel said, tilting her head. “Why are you into him?”

                “I felt something between us and I wanted to find out what it was,” she replied, crossing her arms defensively. “He kissed me back when he came here. If he still had feelings for…”

                “Alex?” Isobel cut him off. “You mean the guy who’s one of your close friends?”

                “You can’t come in here and judge me,” Maria snapped. “You don’t even know Alex!”

                “But _you_ do,” Isobel smiled sarcastically. “Aren’t you some sort of empath? Could you really not sense the feelings coming off Michael in waves?”

                Maria hesitated before finally looking away.

                “He cares about you, obviously, but wake up, sweetheart. His heart has pointed in a single direction since he was seventeen,” Isobel exclaimed. “You’re putting yourself in the middle of a decade long affair and I’ll be honest with you, darling, you’ll be the one standing alone at the end of all this.”

                Maria turned her gaze back to Isobel, her anger building again.

                “First of all, don’t call me sweetheart or darling,” she said with narrowed eyes. “Second, maybe he wants to move on. Did you ever think of that?”

                “Him wanting to move on out of a desperation to stop the pain he was feeling and his heart actually letting him are two different things,” Isobel said before her gaze saddened. “He and…he and _Max_ have always been there for me. Now it’s my turn to take care of Michael, even if that means telling him when he’s being an idiot.”

                When Maria didn’t respond, Isobel sighed.

                “You’re not the one he needs. That’s not me trying to hurt you. I’m just telling you the truth,” Isobel shrugged and Maria finally let her shoulders slump. “The history between them is very long and intense. You have no idea what the two of them have been through together. You don’t know what any of us have been through.”

                “Then tell me!” Maria snapped. “Tell me why one of my best friends that I’ve mourned for ten years is alive and looks just like she did back then! I’ve wanted to go over there so many times the past two days but I’m terrified to go.”

                Isobel watched her for a thoughtful moment before tapping the bottle between them. “Grab a glass, darling.”

   
               ********  
 

                “Hey! You down here?” Kyle called as he jumped off the last step in the bunker.

                Alex absently waved his hand in the air as Kyle made his way over.

                “What happened to laying low and restricting your movements? Climbing down into secret bunkers is the opposite of that.”

                When Alex glared up at him, Kyle held his hands up in defeat.

                “What are you doing here?”

                “I sat up all night thinking about everything after I got back from the Sheriff’s station,” Alex replied.

                “Sheriff’s station? I thought you went to the base,” Kyle frowned, leaning back against the table. “You owe me fifty-four bucks by the way. Had to take a cab out here.”

                “I lied. Your mom called me because she arrested Guerin for drunk and disorderly last night and apparently I’m the only number in his wallet. I bailed him out,” Alex sighed. “Couldn’t exactly tell her why he was spiraling.”

                “Did you take him home?”

                “No, he was passed out. I just sat with him for a while and went home. I’m assuming your mom let him go this morning. But when I got to the cabin, my mind wouldn’t settle.”

                “Were you awake all night?” Kyle asked, worry creeping through his words.

                “Yeah, it’s fine. I don’t really sleep ever anyways,” Alex dismissed.

                “Alex,” Kyle shook his head. “You can’t keep going like this. You need to take a break. You’re still healing!”

                Leaning back in his seat, Alex sighed tiredly. “What do you want me to do? Go on vacation with everything that’s happened? Just skip town and go lie on a beach somewhere?”

                “If it helps your physical and emotional state, yeah!” Kyle replied. “I’ll even come with you. We can take Rosa and Liz with us too.”

                “Until my father is still running around hurting everyone in his path, I’m not going anywhere,” Alex replied, the seriousness in his voice making Kyle deflate.

                “Alright, fine. So you were up all night?”

                “Yeah, I kept going over everything. Something kept nagging at me and I think I just figured out what it is.”

                He lowered the folder he was holding and turned it for Kyle to read.

                “Window Rock, Arizona. What’s there?” Kyle asked. “If you tell me it’s another one of your dad’s secret bunkers, I’ll need a drink.”

                “That’s where my mom is.”

                Kyle frowned as he leaned back. “Your mom? What does she have to do with this?”

                “My dad did some research on Window Rock. Alien sightings and underground thermal readings but he never followed it through.”

                “Okay, what am I missing?”

                “He doesn’t know she lives there. I’m the only one she ever told.”

                “You think your mom knows about the aliens?”

                “Yeah, I do and I think that’s why she left,” Alex replied. “The start of his research, the start of Project Shepherd, it dates back to the same year my mom left us. There’s just too many things that don’t add up. It can’t all be a coincidence.”

                “Alright, show me what else you have on this.”

  
                ********

                Maria stumbled backwards, trying her best to sort through all the information.

                “All this time, my mom was right. I thought she was…,” she started before looking up at Isobel. “There was always something about you, something I could sense. Not Michael or Max, but you specifically. I could never place what it was though. I guess now I know. Aliens.”

                Isobel finished her drink with a smile that never reached her eyes. “So now you know.”

                “Everyone else knows too?” Maria demanded.

                “Like I said, Liz and Kyle were the first ones that found out. I think Alex stumbled into it because of dear old Daddy Manes,” Isobel spat at the name.

                “Rosa’s really alive?” Maria asked, her voice cracking.

                “Yeah, Max brought her back. That’s how he…,” she said before looking away.

                “This is…this is insane. A part of me can’t believe it and yet another part of me, deep down inside, knows it all makes sense,” Maria sighed before leaning slightly forward. “Your husband…”

                “ _Don’t_ call him that,” Isobel snapped.

                “Alright, I won’t,” Maria relented. “What he put you through, I am sorry.”

                “Suddenly I’m not the Ice Queen Bitch you always thought I was?” Isobel asked.

                Before Maria could answer, Isobel suddenly froze in her seat. Squeezing her eyes from the sudden pain, she groaned as Maria reached out to grab her hand.

                “What’s wrong?”

                “Michael,” she breathed, meeting her eyes. “We have to go. He needs us. We have to go now!”

                Maria quickly grabbed her purse and jacket and locked the bar before rushing after Isobel. They drove in silence for several minutes until Isobel pulled off the main road, stopping just outside the Airstream.

                “Michael?” she called nervously as they slowly approached him.

                “Get back!” 

                He was standing near the fire pit, his shaking fists clenched at his sides as broken glass and metallic objects were lifted in the air around him, frozen in the space.

                “I can’t control it!”

                “Michael, just calm down,” Isobel pleaded. “Just take a deep breath and let everything go.”

                “Isobel, stop!” he cried, turning his broken gaze towards her. “I can’t stop it. Everything inside me wants to explode! Just get back!”

                Desperate to help him, she spun towards Maria. “Keep him talking!”

                Rushing towards her car, she dug through her purse as Maria took a gentle step towards him.

                “Michael, you need to calm down, okay?” she used her calmest voice, but all it did was make him scream. “Tell me what to do! How can I help you?”

                “You can’t,” he whispered, shutting his eyes and shaking his head. “ _You_ can’t.”

                Alex was flipping through another file when his cell began to ring.

                “Can you get that?”

                Kyle reached for the phone beside him and answered the call.

                “Alex’s phone,” he started before sitting up in his seat. “Woah, Isobel, calm down. What’s going on?”

                Alex quickly turned towards him, frowning as Kyle rushed over and pushed the phone at his ear.

                “Hello?” he said and instantly rose to his feet, ignoring the shooting pain in his ribs and leg. “Is he okay?”

                He ran a hand through his hair and absently shook his head.

                “I don’t think I’m the best person…,” he started before sighing. “Alright, I’ll be there soon.”

                Hanging up, he looked over at Kyle before grabbing his crutches.

                “He can’t control his powers. She’s scared he’ll hurt himself.”

                “I’ll drive you over,” Kyle said as he took the crutches from Alex and followed him up the bunker steps.

                A nervous energy flooded between them as Kyle drove towards the Airstream. When he pulled over several minutes later, Alex quietly climbed out and took a moment to absorb the scene around him. Michael was still standing near the fire pit, his trembling hands raised to the sides as everything stood frozen in the air around him. He glanced at Maria who lowered her gaze before meeting Isobel’s pleading eyes.

                “Don’t,” Kyle whispered but he shook his hand off and took a step forward.

                “Guerin.”

                Michael’s eyes flew open and a small smile filled his face before his gaze quickly hardened.

                “You called _him_?” he spat as Alex took another step forward. “You think I want _him_ here? The guy I wanted around all those years but all we was good at was walking away! You think _now_ I want him?”

                Moving past the sharp objects in the air, Alex met Michael’s gaze.

                “The second I don't want you, you're suddenly always there!” Michael shouted, ignoring the others around them. “When will you get it, Alex? I don’t want you anymore! I don’t love you anymore! If me choosing De Luca didn’t get that through your head, I don’t know what will!”

                Maria quickly looked at Alex and watched as he swallowed his own emotions before taking another step forward.

                “How could I ever love someone who’s father did what they did!” Michael continued, the shake in his hands intensifying as the objects started vibrating in the space between them. “You’re just like him, aren’t you? A real Manes man! Joined the Air Force because he wanted you to! Always bending to his will like a scared little kid!”

                Alex froze at his words and his emotions finally bled through. Tears welled in his eyes as he lowered his gaze.

                “I don’t need you anymore!” Michael shouted, his voice breaking. “I’ll hurt you if you come closer. I will.”

                “No, you won’t,” Alex shook his head, meeting his eyes again. “You’d never hurt me like that.”

                “Maybe I hate you so much that I will! Maybe I look at you and I see your father and it makes me want to hurt you too!”

                “It’s okay, Guerin,” Alex smiled sadly, a tear streaming down his face.

                “Why won’t you fight back?” Michael yelled, taking a staggering step forward. “I chose your friend over you, Alex! Doesn’t that make you angry? Don’t you want to lash out?”

                All Alex did was shake his head. “That’s not what you need right now.”

                “You know what I need? You’re an expert on me?” Michael cried, his own tears rolling down his cheeks. “Dammit, fight back!”

                “It’s okay, Guerin,” he repeated when their eyes met again. “If you need me to be your punching bag, I’ll be that for you. Just let it out.”

                When Michael took a quick step towards him, Alex couldn’t help but flinch back. The sudden movement made Michael freeze, all of his anger suddenly drowning away as the shake in his hands slowly disappeared.

                “I’d never…I’d never hurt you.”

                “I’d rather you hurt me than yourself,” Alex whispered.

                Michael instantly broke at the words, his hands dropping to the sides and with it, the objects came crashing down. With a shattered sob escaping him, he rushed forward, falling into Alex who winced from the sudden pain but slowly raised his hands to wrap around him.

                “You’re okay,” he soothed him, running one hand down his back. “You’re okay.”

                Michael tightened his hold at the soft words being whispered in his ear and finally released the pain he had bottled inside. As his sobs echoed in the silence around them, Alex met Isobel’s tearful eyes for a brief moment, nodding when she smiled in gratitude. When the cries finally grew quiet, Alex started moving back but Michael stepped even closer, refusing to release him.

                “Guerin, look at me,” he said before swallowing the painful lump in his throat. “Michael.”

                Michael slowly pulled back, staring at him through a dazed expression. “You called me Michael.”

                Alex licked his lips, drawing Michael’s gaze instantly towards them. Taking a sharp breath, Alex grabbed his arms and pushed him back a step.

                “Michael, listen to me. You have people who care about you. You need to let them in. You need to let them help you.”

                “You’re the only one I need,” Michael said, his smile soft and honest.

                Alex took a deep breath before untangling himself.

                “Where are you going?” Michael asked, his sudden panic making him grab Alex’s hand.

                “You need to let me go.”

                “Sweetheart, I’m sorry I said those things. I didn’t mean them,” Michael whispered, oblivious to the others. “You know I didn’t mean them, right?”

                “Please, let me go,” Alex pleaded, trying his hardest to hold on to his last bit of resolve.

                “Why?” Michael asked, his voice cracking.

                With his shoulders falling, Alex turned back to face him. “Your girlfriend is standing right there.”

                The words snapped Michael back to the present and he glanced to the side to see the others standing several feet away. A broken sound escaped Michael’s throat as he dragged his gaze away from Maria and back to Alex, his heart breaking at the hurt look he saw in Alex’s eyes. When he opened his mouth to stumble through an apology, Alex cut him off as he turned around and took a step towards Kyle’s truck. Before he could get more than three feet away, Michael had launched himself against his back, holding him closely as he buried his face against the scarf tied around his neck. Seeing the sudden pain on Alex’s face from the tight hold around his chest, Kyle sprang forward and pulled Michael away.

                “You need to let him go.”

                Michael stared between them before he reached out just as Alex moved away. The scarf flew off and everyone froze.

                “Alex,” Michael started, a deadliness to his voice. “Who did that to you?”

                Squeezing his eyes shut, Alex ran his hands across his face, his exhaustion making him deflate.

                “Who do you think?” he finally said, meeting Michael’s gaze again.

                “I’ll kill him,” Michael snapped. “I swear to God, I’ll kill him.”

                “No you won’t because my father is _my_ battle. He’s _my_ war, no one else’s!”

                Michael came to speak but Alex quickly cut him off.

                “You have to let yourself heal, Guerin, because right now, Isobel needs you and you have to be strong for her, okay?”

                “ _I_ need _you_.”

                Alex shook his head at the words. “You were right. I’m connected to all that pain that you’re feeling right now.”

                “No, I was wrong. I was so wrong,” Michael started but Alex sighed when his phone began to vibrate.

                “Yes, this is him,” he answered and ran a hand through his hair. “I’ll be there shortly.”

                Hanging up, he looked back at Michael and the intense, unblinking gaze left him feeling raw.

                “I have to get to the base,” he said, turning to Isobel. “Are you good now?”

                She nodded in apology. “Thank you.”

                “Wait, just wait,” Michael pleaded.

                “Guerin, you have a lot you need to work through right now. Just find a way to get through it.”

                Before Michael could reach out and stop him, Alex had already climbed back into the car, waiting for a nod from Kyle before driving away. When he felt a hand against his arm, he turned and quickly pulled Isobel into his arms.

                “I’m so sorry, Iz.”

                “It’s okay,” she smiled through her tears before tilting her head towards a quiet Maria. “What are you going to do about all this?”

                “Fix it,” he replied.

                She nodded and walked to Kyle as Michael met Maria’s gaze across the fire.

                “I never stood a chance, did I?” she asked when he reached her. “Not even Isobel could talk you down.”

                “Maria…”

                “I knew what you meant to him but I thought if you had stopped caring, if Alex’s feelings were unrequited, maybe you and I could have something,” she continued. “Doesn’t make me a very good friend, does it?”

                “I’m sorry,” was all he could say.

                “You love him?” she asked.

                “More than anything,” he said without hesitation.

                “Then you had no right coming to me when you did,” she replied and he nodded. “And I had no right hurting him the way I did.”

                She sighed and turned towards Kyle.

                “I’d really like to see Rosa. Could you please take me to her?”

                Kyle nodded and Isobel tossed him her keys.

                “What is this, musical cars?” he mumbled as he followed Maria and climbed in.

                When the car had disappeared down the road, Isobel made her way towards the chairs and fell into an empty one beside him. They stared at all the fallen objects on the ground before Michael finally spoke.

                “I’m sorry for so many things.”

                “You’re grieving,” she touched his cheek.

                “Doesn’t excuse everything,” he smiled sadly. “You called him and he came. He could have gotten hurt but he stayed.”

                “He loves you, Michael.”

                He took a deep breath at her words and nodded.

                “We need to bury Max, tell everyone he’s dead,” she spoke quietly. “But can we wait one more day?”

                He pulled her against him, holding her close as she cried in his arms.

                ********

                Making a quick stop at the cabin to change into his uniform, Alex drove to Holloman base with the radio blaring in the background, desperate to keep the thoughts in his mind quiet. As he limped with his crutches across the grounds towards the administrative building, he stopped just outside the entrance to glance at his surroundings. In six days, he’d close that chapter of his life. In six days, he’d finally be free.

                “Captain Manes,” the Sergeant behind the front desk greeted when he entered. “Major Davis is expecting you.”

                Alex made his way towards the office at the end of the hall, knocking and waiting for permission before walking in. Saluting his Superior, he closed the door and limped towards his seat. The Major watched him for a quiet moment, his eyes scanning the bruises on his neck before lowering the folder he was holding.

                “Did you need me to sign my papers, Sir?” he asked after a moment.

                “Papers?” the Major frowned.

                “To culminate my enlistment period. It ends in six days.”

                The Major watched him for several pensive moments before his shoulders squared.

                “You've been recalled to active duty. You deploy in thirty-six hours.”

                Alex sat frozen before a chuckle escaped his throat.

                “Forgive me, Sir, but I thought you just said I was recalled to active duty.”

                “I did and you have,” the Major confirmed.

                “I don’t understand,” Alex said through his confusion. “I’ll never get medical clearance. How can I be recalled?”

                “You’ll be assessed upon arrival at Fort Benning before shipping overseas.”

                “Sir, I’m missing half my leg,” Alex exclaimed.

                “Orders have come from up top, Captain,” the Major replied. “Our country is in a state of emergency. Any and all enlisted individuals may be recalled to active duty status for a minimum of four hundred days. For now, all you need to know is that you deploy at thirteen hundred hours the day after tomorrow. I advise you to get your affairs in order, son.”

                Stunned by the news, Alex slowly rose to his feet and gave a half hearted salute before stumbling outside. As the front doors closed behind him, a hand reached out to grab his arm and Alex spun around to push his brother backwards.

                “Woah, kid, it’s just me!” Flint exclaimed, taking a step forward. “Alex, what the hell happened to you?”

                “Dad happened, you shithead!”

                “What are you talking about? I haven’t seen dad since the prison exploded!”

                “You mean, since all those innocent people were killed?” Alex spat, making his brother swallow hard. “He blindsided me at my cabin two nights ago and gave me this!”

                Pulling his collar down, he showed the full marks on his neck before lifting his uniform to bare the dark bruises on his ribs.

                “Dad wouldn’t do that,” Flint started.

                “What world have you been living in?” Alex snapped. “He abused me for years when I was in high school while the rest of you pretended it never happened. But it _did_ happen, Flint!”

                His brother took a deep breath and looked down.

                “Whether you want to admit it or continue living in denial, the truth is that you stood guard at a prison where innocent people were tortured and killed,” he said before lowering his voice. “You may call them aliens but there’s only one monster in this story and that’s the man you’ve blindly followed your whole life. They were living, breathing beings, Flint, just like me and you.”

                “I know,” Flint whispered. “I don’t agree with what happened, Alex. I thought we were protecting our national security but…all those people...”

                Alex took a step back to rest on his good leg, reeling in his anger.

                “Help me, Flint. Help me shut him down.”

                “How? Alex, you _just_ got recalled. Yes, I already know. Word travels fast around here,” he exclaimed. “You’re disabled and you’ll probably never pass the psychological exam, much less the physical, but you still got recalled. He has so many connections that you don’t even know about.”

                “Then help me stop him!” Alex pleaded. “He can’t get away with it. Not after everything that happened at Caulfield. Not after everything he’s done to _me_.”

                “Where would we even start?” Flint asked him. “You’re going to Fort Benning in a couple days and then the Middle East. I’m following you after two days but…”

                “You were recalled too?”

                “No, I put in for a transfer when I heard they were sending you,” Flint shrugged. “I had a feeling you were going to do something crazy. Figured I could watch your back. Better late than never.”

                Alex took a moment to process what he’d heard before speaking. “We need to stop treating him like this untouchable thing. He can hurt and bleed just like the rest of us. We just need the right amount of ammunition to make sure that happens.”

                “What are you thinking, kid?”

                “We’ll beat him on his own turf.”

                “How?” Flint frowned.

                “Do you really think he’d keep going halfway across the world if he didn’t have other facilities over there?”

                Flint took a deep breath before he finally nodded.

                “So what do we do in the meantime?”

                “Just keep your eyes open and leave the rest to me.”

                “Do you need help getting back to your car?”

                The finger Alex tossed over his shoulder made Flint raise his hands in defeat. When he was back in Kyle’s truck with his head pressed against the seat, a single thought clouded his mind. Window Rock, where his mother lived. He had thirty-six hours to try and fix things.


	4. Chapter 4

*****

 

                Poking her head through the open doorway, Liz watched as her sister and Maria laughed loudly, pressing their backs against the headboard, as if nothing had changed. Before she could walk away and give them privacy, Maria turned towards the door and waved her in.

                “This is so crazy,” she exclaimed as Liz took a step towards the bed, reaching out to take her sister’s hand.

                “I know,” she smiled sadly. “I’m going to head out for a bit, maybe swing by the hospital. Just need some fresh air. Been cooped up inside too long.”

                “Do you want me to come with you?” Maria asked but Liz shook her head.

                “No, you guys spend some time together. I’ll be back later.”

                Giving a final smile, Liz left the room and walked out of the apartment.

                “I don’t know what to say to her half the time,” Rosa started, looking back at Maria. “It’s crazy enough that I was _dead_. But it’s like every time Liz looks at me, she sees her dead boyfriend.”

                “What Max did was because he loved Liz. That’s not your fault and your sister doesn’t blame you,” Maria assured her. “She loves you so much. It nearly destroyed her, losing you.”

                Rosa took a deep breath and nodded. “Can we change the subject? I’d like to know more about that complicated love life you got there.”

                Maria chuckled, leaning back against the headboard.

                “Not really complicated actually,” she started. “Last night, when you fell asleep, I stayed awake most of the night, just going over everything in my head. Before, I kept telling myself that Alex was the only one who had feelings involved because Michael told me they were through and I chose to believe him. But taking a step back and watching them together, yesterday, it was pretty overwhelming.”

                “Their feelings?” Rosa asked quietly.

                “None of us were able to talk Michael down. I don’t even think Max could have if he were here,” Maria said, sighing softly. “But Alex got through to him. Their connection, I can't even describe it. I just can’t believe I never saw how deep it was. If I'm being honest, I probably didn’t want to.”

                “Are you in love with Michael?”

                Maria hesitated, staring at the opposite wall for a thoughtful moment before shaking her head. “I can honestly say that I’m not. I could have been, if we went forward. I probably would have fallen in love with him but right now, I just like him a lot. It hurts but not nearly as much as I know it hurt Alex when he found out.”

                “I’m sorry,” Rosa said with a small smile.

                “No, I’m the one who’s sorry,” Maria corrected. “Michael should be too but he went through a lot so it’s probably more understandable from his end.”

                Smiling, she leaned forward to take Rosa’s hands in hers.

                “I love Alex and I hate that I hurt him. I wouldn’t forgive me that easily if I were him.”

                “He’s different though. He’s _Alex_ ,” Rosa shrugged. “At least, if he’s still the same sweet marshmallow he was back in high school, despite the rebellious exterior.”

                “He’s more guarded now because of what he went through overseas but deep down, he’s still the same guy with a really big heart and I hate myself for hurting him,” Maria looked away.

                “Well, if he’s the same guy, he’ll forgive you. It’s not like they were together, right?”

                “They weren’t but even if Michael lied and said they were finished, I knew Alex wasn’t,” Maria said quietly. “The way they were gazing at each other yesterday, the way Michael just fell into him. It was beautiful, Rosa. It’s the kind of connection I wish I had with someone.”

                Reaching forward, Rosa pulled her into a hug as Maria chuckled.

                “Why are you comforting me? I should be the one comforting _you_!”

                They leaned back, smiling, as Maria shook her hands at her sides to rid the emotions away.

                “So, aliens.”

                Rosa chuckled in reply. “Aliens.”

   
               ********

                Alex opened the door and Kyle gave a wide grin before stepping inside.

                “You never called me last night. What happened at the base?”

                “Nothing,” Alex lied, moving towards the kitchen to push the rest of the files in his backpack.

                “Are you going somewhere?” Kyle asked, leaning against the counter beside him.

                “I’m driving down to Window Rock,” Alex said, pushing the bag over his shoulder. “I called my mom last night and kind of said everything in a rush. Used a burner phone though since I’m paranoid now on top of everything else. Told her I knew she knew about aliens. I was just guessing, really, hoping for some kind of reaction that would confirm what I thought and she didn’t disappoint. She said ‘how did you find out?’ Before I said something I’d regret, I basically told her that I was coming down there today and hung up. We don’t have the best relationship, remember?”

                “Alright, I’m still trying to piece this together. So what if she knows aliens exist?” Kyle frowned.

                “If she does, maybe she knows some of them too. If that's true, maybe one of them has powers like Max did.”

                Kyle’s frown intensified before his eyes widened. “You want to try and bring him back.”

                “It’s worth a try, isn’t it? You said they put him in one of their pods so his body’s being preserved at least.”

                “That’s a brilliant plan, actually,” Kyle chuckled.

                “It’s a long shot and it might not pan out so don’t tell Liz or Guerin or Isobel, alright? Not until we know for sure. I don’t want to give anyone false hope.”

                Before Kyle could answer, another knock sounded and Alex limped over to swing it open.

                “Hi,” Liz smiled, reaching up to hug him before moving inside.

                “Hey Liz. Everything okay?” Kyle asked her.

                “Yeah, Maria was with Rosa. They’re catching up, I guess. I just needed some fresh air,” she shrugged and looked between them. “Are you guys going somewhere?”

                They exchanged glances before Kyle took a step forward. “We’re going to visit Alex’s mom.”

                Alex glared at him over Liz’s head and Kyle held his hands up in question.

                “Your mom? Why? I didn’t realize you still had contact with her,” Liz frowned.

                “Just a little bit. Trying to fix the relationship so I thought I’d go see her.”

                “ _We’re_ going to see her,” Kyle corrected, ignoring the second glare from Alex.

                “Do you need some company? I’d like to come, get a change of scenery,” she offered.

                “No, it’s…I’m…,” Alex stuttered.

                “Alright, I know you two well enough to know when you’re hiding something. What’s going on?” she asked, looking between them.

                Sighing, Alex turned to Kyle and shook his head.

                “You couldn’t say something else? Anything else?”

                “That was the first thing my mind thought of!” Kyle defended.

                “You couldn’t lie?”

                “Hey!” Liz exclaimed as both faced her. “Someone going to tell me what’s going on?”

                Alex hesitated for another moment before leaning back against the counter. “I found some research on Window Rock, Arizona. Research my father did on alien sightings.”

                “Okay,” Liz nodded slowly.

                “My mom lives there, Liz,” he said. “There were some weird findings in the data my dad had compiled but he never followed it through. My mom knows about aliens and I think that’s why she left.”

                “Alex, that’s crazy!” she exclaimed.

                “Any crazier than everything else we’ve seen?” he asked. “Besides, she confirmed it when I called her last night.”

                “Okay, so your mom knows about aliens. Why are you going all the way out to see her?”

                “He thinks that maybe if we’re lucky, then _maybe_ there’s another savior out there,” Kyle answered.

                “Savior?” she asked before realization suddenly hit and she spun around to grab Alex’s hand. “Another savior like Max?”

                “Maybe,” he said warily. “Liz, this is why I didn’t want you to know. Or Guerin or Isobel. It could be nothing. I don’t want you to get your hopes up.”

                “No, it’s not nothing. It’s everything!” she cried, leaping into his arms. “Thank you! Thank you so much!”

                “Liz,” he untangled her gently. “I could be wrong.”

                “I know,” she smiled through her tears. “Alex, I understand. But the past few days have been so hard. I understand that maybe nothing will come of this but I want to have hope.”

                He sighed heavily and nodded. “I take it that means you want to come with?”

                “Try and keep me away,” she smiled just as another knock sounded.

                “What is this, visiting day?” Alex grumbled as he pulled the door open, taking a breath when he saw Michael standing on the other side.

                They stared at each other for a long moment until Michael gave a small smile.

                “Hi,” he breathed out.

                “What are you doing here, Guerin?”

                “Can we talk?” Michael swallowed. “I tried coming by last night but you weren’t home.”

                “I stayed in my truck last night,” Alex replied, ignoring the frown on Michael’s face. “I’m actually just headed out.”

                “ _We’re_ headed out,” Kyle corrected a second time as he stepped out onto the porch, followed by a quiet Liz.

                Michael stared between them until his eyes landed on Alex again. “Where are you going?”

                Following the others out, Alex closed and locked the door behind him. “We’re going to see my mom.”

                “Your mom?” Michael asked in surprise.

                “Yes, my _mom_. Yes, I haven’t actually seen her in years. Yes, we don’t have much of a relationship. Yes, I’m still going,” Alex snapped before rolling his eyes at his own outburst.

                “Okay,” Michael chuckled. “I just thought she walked out on you.”

                “She did,” Alex nodded, facing Michael again. “You don’t choose your parents, Guerin.”

                Michael swallowed hard, quickly understanding his reference. “Alex, I’m so sorry.”

                “Look, whatever you need to say can wait. We have to go.”

                Brushing past him, Alex limped towards the truck as Kyle and Liz rushed to follow. Climbing behind the wheel, he sighed as Liz took the seat beside him. Just as Kyle was closing the back door, Michael pushed him further in the seat and climbed in after him.

                “What are you doing?” Alex demanded.

                “I’m coming with.”                                                                                                            

                “Get out.”

                Michael’s shaky confidence wavered at his angry tone. Before he could try apologizing again, Liz reached out to touch Alex’s hand.

                “We may need him.”

                They held eyes for several beats before Alex finally deflated.

                “Go to the hospital first,” Kyle reminded from the back. “Your prosthetic is ready for pickup.”

                Michael turned towards him, ready with questions, but Kyle simply shook his head. When they pulled into the hospital parking after twenty minutes of silent driving, Alex eased himself out.

                “Want me to come with?” Kyle asked through the window.

                Grabbing both crutches from the trunk, he swung them under his arms and shook his head, slowly making his way inside the building.

                “That bastard worked a real number on him,” Kyle said, scoffing bitterly. “Broke his prosthetic, stomped down on his bad leg.”

                Michael kept his gaze lowered as Kyle spoke, his eyes beginning to glaze.

                “When I saw him that morning, he looked really bad. Refuses to take any pain meds. Just keeps pushing himself past his limits.”

                “Why?” Liz asked quietly, turning in her seat to face them.

                “All his life, his father’s seen him as being weak,” Kyle replied. “His leg makes him vulnerable so he keeps pushing himself. He can’t stand pity or anyone thinking he’s less."

                Michael turned towards Kyle to see his gaze already on him.

                “You’ve gone through a lot, Guerin. We all have but you especially, with Caulfield on top of everything else,” Kyle said, his voice quiet. “You have to do whatever you need to get yourself through this. I get that but I’m asking you, as Alex’s Doctor and as his friend, don’t play with his emotions.”

                Michael came to speak but Kyle cut him off.

                “I get it. He walked away first. He hurt you first. But he’s not okay, Guerin,” Kyle sighed. “He’ll kill me if he finds out I said anything but I don’t care.”

                “Said what?” Liz asked, her eyes already tearing.

                “His PTSD is serious,” Kyle said as he glanced between them. “He hides it really well but it's a mask so I’m asking you to consider that. You want to be with Maria, be with her. Just leave him out of it.”

                Michael took a ragged breath as he let the words sink in. “I’m not with her.”

                Both Liz and Kyle faced him in surprise.

                “Do you think after what happened yesterday at the Airstream, I want anyone other than Alex? Even if it hurts?” he asked Kyle sadly. “She realized it too.”

                Before Liz could question what he meant, Alex made his way back towards them, walking more smoothly than before as he dragged the crutches on the ground behind him

                “You look better,” Kyle commented when he climbed behind the wheel again.

                “It feels a lot better too. Thank you,” he smiled at him over his shoulder.

                “You want any of us to drive?” Liz offered.

                “No, I want to have my hands on the wheel right now. First time I’ll be seeing her in twenty years. I need some control before we get there,” he replied, pulling back onto the road.

                Michael wanted to reach out and touch him, to grab his shoulder, to press his hands against Alex’s neck. But the other man reached for the radio and let the music settle in the space around them. Sighing to himself, he looked at the scenery passing by as Alex drove out of town towards Arizona. Stopping only once for gas and a bathroom break, they grabbed some snacks and ate in the car to save time. When they were half an hour away, Alex looked to Liz and gave her a nod. Michael watched the small exchange in confusion before she turned around to face him.

                “His mom seems to know about aliens,” she started.

                Michael tried to reach Alex’s eyes in the rear mirror but the soldier kept his gaze focused on the road.

                “Alright, where are you going with this?”

                “Alex _thinks_ …well, he hopes anyway, that maybe she has contact with them and hopefully one of them is a savior…like Max was.”

                Understanding quickly dawned on him and he reached forward to grab Alex’s arm before his mind could catch up. Alex tensed under the touch but slowly met his eyes in the mirror.

                “You think…maybe someone could save him?” he asked, his voice cracking.

                Alex’s gaze softened at the vulnerability in Michael’s voice. “It can’t be that impossible that more of you are out there and one of them is like Max. Maybe nothing will come of it but…maybe something will.”

                Michael launched himself forward and hugged Alex from the back of his seat, leaning up to press his face against the bruised neck. Alex gasped and gripped the wheel tighter but made no effort to push Michael away.

                “Thank you,” he whispered, nuzzling the skin behind his ear.

                Alex let the hug continue for another second before tapping Michael’s arm.

                “I need to concentrate, Guerin.”

                Suddenly remembering where they were, he pushed himself back as Liz gave him a small smile.

                “Thank you,” he repeated, his voice barely above a whisper.

                Alex squeezed his eyes for a moment, allowing himself to feel the weight of everything. When he opened his eyes again, he swallowed hard and buried his emotions. Within minutes, they drove through a rocky terrain before Alex turned down a side road leading towards a housing complex. Pulling the truck to a park in front of the community center at the end of the road, he took a deep breath and climbed out. The moment they stepped onto the sidewalk, the double doors opened and a woman stepped out, her dark hair pulled behind her tanned shoulders.

                “Shiyáázh,” she exclaimed, clasping her hand over her mouth.

                Michael watched through his own tears as Alex slowly moved towards her, his steps hesitant. When he was within reach, she quickly closed the distance and threw her arms around his shoulders, pulling him down against her chest. His arms froze in the air before slowly encircling her thin frame. Pressing kisses into his face, she leaned back and ran her hands across his cheeks, caressing him tenderly.

                “My sweet boy,” she whispered before her eyes landed on his neck.

                He instantly untangled himself and stumbled backwards, running into Michael who grabbed his arms from behind, steadying him. Alex focused on the strength in Michael’s hold until his breathing finally calmed.

                “Mom,” his voice cracked and he cleared his throat, stepping away from Michael’s hold. “Mom.”

                “Hello, love,” she smiled.

                “Don’t call me that,” he snapped, running a hand across his eyes. “You don’t get to call me that.”

                When she nodded sadly, he watched her with regret before motioning towards the others.

                “I don’t know if you remember but this is Liz Ortecho and Kyle Valenti.”

                “I remember,” she smiled softly. 

                “This is…Michael.”

                A thoughtful expression filled her face as she watched the way Michael looked at her son, his eyes wide and gentle.

                “This is my mom, Nascha.”

                “Welcome, everyone,” she smiled kindly. “When Alex called last night, it was a very abrupt conversation. I understand the questions that you have.”

                “We’re pressed on time. Where can we talk?” he asked her.

                “Follow me,” she said, extending her hand towards him.

                When he refused to accept the gesture, she lowered her gaze and made her way inside the building.

                “Alex,” Michael started but he shook his head.

                “Don’t,” he cut him off. “This is different from your situation. Yours would have been with you if she could have. Mine chose to leave.”

                Without waiting to hear a response, he squared his shoulders and made his way inside, followed quietly by the others. Through the doors and down the hallway, they entered the large auditorium at the end of the building. Dozens of people were waiting, standing to the sides as they watched them enter in silence. Alex let his eyes scan through the people, trying to find a familiar face amongst the crowd. Nascha guided them towards the end of the room where three Native elders were seated on the small stage.

                “Acheii,” she greeted, bowing towards the eldest of the three men before turning towards her son. “This is Sani, your naakidi nácheii.”

                “Great grandfather,” Alex translated before giving a small nod.

                Once the elder acknowledged his presence, Nascha turned towards the man seated beside him.

                “Azhéʼé,” she greeted. “This is Ahiga, your acheii.”

                “Grandfather,” Alex said and gave the second man a nod as well.

                “Yáʼátʼééh,” his grandfather greeted, his smile widening. “It is good to finally meet you, Alex. Your mother has spoken of you with much love.”

                Alex glanced at his mother and the hardness in his eyes made Nascha’s gaze lower.

                “You must have many questions,” his grandfather said, drawing his gaze back to him. “But first, will you introduce those with you?”

                “This is Liz Ortecho and Kyle Valenti, childhood friends,” Alex said before swallowing. “Michael Guerin.”

                Michael gaze stayed fixed on Alex for several seconds as the soldier ignored him. Finally looking away, Michael blinked through his wet eyes and faced the elders. His grandfather regarded them for a long moment, a similar thoughtful expression filling his face before he leaned forward in his chair.

                “Where would you like to start?”

                “Why’d you leave me?” Alex asked, facing his mother.

                Nascha took a deep breath at the hostility she heard in his voice. She reached out towards him again but Alex took a half step back, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Smiling sadly, she turned behind her, motioning another woman over.

                “This is your aunt, Haseya,” she introduced the woman carrying a young toddler in her arms. “My youngest sister.”

                Alex looked between them before his questioning gaze landed on his mother again. She quickly looked at her father who nodded and faced the rest of the crowd around them. When he gave a quiet command, the group filtered out of the room, leaving only the few of them remaining.

                “Alex,” his mother began, sighing breathlessly. “I have never loved anyone in my life the way I loved you.”

                He chuckled in disbelief at her words as Liz and Kyle looked away but Michael took a step towards him.

                “I’m not lying to you,” she pleaded. “Your brothers were so much like your father. Cold and calculating but you were always different.”

                A tear slipped down her cheek as she moved towards him. He kept his gaze hard on the ground, refusing to meet her eyes.

                “You were sweet and tender and had such a beautiful heart inside you.”

                Squeezing his eyes shut, he battled his emotions to keep them hidden. When he felt a gentle hand on his lower back, he leaned against Michael’s touch and deflated.

                “Then why did you leave me?” he finally asked, facing his mother again. “Do you have any idea the monster you left me with?”

                “Alex…,” she started but he angrily wiped his eyes and cut her off.

                “You just took off. No explanation!” he exclaimed, his usual defenses lowered. “You left me with a man who hurt me in every way!”

                Lowering her head, Nascha let her tears fall before reaching out for him again but Alex pulled away.

                “I have hated you for so long,” his voice cracked.

                Michael pressed even closer, slipping his hands to settle at Alex’s waist. The touch was enough to make Alex take a deep breath, his shoulder dropping in exhaustion.

                “Please, let me try and explain,” she pleaded.

                When he finally sighed and nodded, she motioned her sister forward again.

                “We know about alien life,” she started, her gaze landing on Michael whose eyes widened.

                They stared at one another for several seconds before Nascha pulled her sister close.

                “Our tribe has known for a long time, Alex. We have given refuge and shelter for many throughout the years,” she continued. “When I met your father, I allowed myself to be seduced by his charms. I married very young, against my family’s wishes. I was only twenty-eight when I had you, my youngest.”

                Alex quickly glanced at his grandfather whose gaze was firmly settled on him.

                “I knew of our tribe’s doings, Alex, even if I was far away. Your father started acting differently when you were about six years old, coming home late, never spending time with his children, always angry. One day, when you kids were all at school, I followed him. At first I thought there was another woman and in truth, I wish that had been the case,” she smiled sadly. “He had this underground facility, a bunker outside of town. I waited until he had gone and I don’t know what possessed me to go down there but I did. I had this feeling inside me. Your father may have been a lot of things but he was terrible with choosing passcodes. I easily unlocked the door and climbed down.”

                “Research on alien life?” Alex asked and she nodded.

                “What nearly destroyed me was that your aunt’s husband’s picture was up there,” Nascha continued and Alex quickly looked at the other woman. “I knew who her husband was. Our whole family knew. But your father hadn’t been introduced to him yet. They had two small children at the time, cousins your age.”

                “What did you do?” he asked her quietly.

                “I was so scared, terrified. I went home, made an excuse to see my sick mother and came back here to Window Rock. I spoke with my Father, our elders.”

                “You told her to leave?” Alex asked, looking at his Grandfather.

                “It was the only way to keep her family safe,” the older man replied.

                “What about _her_ kids? What about keeping _them_ safe?”

                “Alex, I didn’t know the type of man he would become. I didn’t know he would hurt you like that,” she pleaded. “If I had stayed, he would have discovered your aunt and her family. He would have discovered all of the aliens we were helping here. By leaving, by making your father hate me, he steered away from this direction.”

                Michael turned his gaze to Alex and squeezed his waist, the touch making the soldier sigh.

                “So you left to save the rest of your family and all these innocent aliens and the only one who suffered in the end was me,” he acknowledged.

                His aunt looked away as tears began to slip from her eyes, hugging her young daughter tight against her chest.

                “Why didn’t you take me with you?” he asked, his vulnerable voice cracking.

                “He would have come after me if I had,” Nascha said before looking down.

                Alex rubbed his eyes and pulled away from Michael, ignoring the quiet looks from Liz and Kyle.

                “You know what? None of that matters now anyway,” he sighed. “How many aliens do you have here, blended into your tribe?”

                “Dozens,” his grandfather replied. “Many have moved on from here but many have also stayed.”

                “Michael’s one as well,” he said, tipping his chin towards him. “His brother was killed several days ago but they have his body preserved. I was hoping that maybe one of the people here or someone you know has healing powers. That’s why we’re here.”

                Nascha looked at her father for a moment before smiling.

                “There is Anya,” she nodded. “My grandfather found her as a young child over forty years ago. She doesn’t speak. Took a vow of silence several years ago. But she can heal.”

                Alex exchanged glances with Michael who released a shaky breath before meeting Liz’s tearful gaze.

                “When did your brother die?” Nascha asked.

                “A few days ago,” Michael replied quietly.

                “The process will be more difficult with the days involved but we can try,” Nascha’s smile grew, looking between them. “We can try.”

                “Thank you!” Liz cried, reaching out to hug her.

                Nascha chuckled at the embrace before Liz pulled away, smiling at Alex in apology.

                “Haseya can introduce the rest of you to the others that live amongst us here. I am sure Michael would like to meet them.”

                Michael turned towards Alex and came to reach out but the other man cleared his throat and stepped to the side. 

                “Come on,” Liz gently urged.

                Watching him sadly for another few seconds, Michael finally turned and followed Liz and Kyle out of the room.

                “That boy seems to care about you greatly.”

                “What’s the process?” he asked, dismissing her words.

                “Alex,” she said instead. “I _love_ you. My actions, my choices, I know that you suffered because of them and I can never begin to apologize.”

                “It doesn’t matter,” he said before the pain in his leg made him wince and reach down.

                “What’s wrong?” she asked him but he shook his head.

                Her Father spoke in Navajo and she reached down to touch him, instantly pulling away.

                “Your leg…,” she started, a fresh wave of tears filling her eyes.

                Sighing tiredly, he reached down to roll his pants to his knees, ignoring the gasp his mother made.

                “How?” she cried.

                He glanced at the elders and saw a painful look cross his Grandfather’s face before turning towards her again.

                “He found out I was gay when I was fifteen. He didn’t like that.”

                Nascha’s lip quivered but she forced her gaze to stay on her son’s face.

                “He would have killed me if I stayed. Left me with no other options so I enlisted after high school, went to war for ten years and lost my leg,” he shrugged. “They gave me a medal for my efforts as if that changed anything that happened that day. But I guess I should be grateful I’m still alive when so many others aren’t.”

                “Alex…,” she tried but he held his hand up to cut her off.

                “I can hate you for leaving me alone in that house but I can’t hate you for doing what you did,” he admitted. “You left to save your family, to save a lot of innocent people. I understand why you did it but please don’t expect me to forgive and forget. Maybe the teenager version of me could have brushed it all off but the one standing in front of you now can’t. So please, just help me save his brother. Help me bring him back. Then we can go back to phone calls on birthdays.”

                “No!” she exclaimed, grabbing his hand. “I want more than that, Alex! I want you in my life. I want to be your mother.”

                “I can’t give you that right now,” he replied, his smile almost apologetic. “Where’s your healer?”

                She slowly released his hand and nodded. “Follow me.”

                “Alex,” his Grandfather spoke before he could leave. “You are a part of this family.”

                “I don’t have a family,” he said with a small smile. “I don’t know if I ever did.”

                Moving away before the older man could speak, he followed his quiet mother into the hallway.

  
                ********

                Walking outside forty minutes later, Alex lowered his body on the ground, pressing his back against the side wall of the building as his legs stretched out in front of him, Tilting his head back, he let the warm sunshine bask his features until a shadow made him open his eyes.

                “Can I sit?” Michael asked him.

                Too tired to argue, Alex nodded and Michael lowered beside him, leaving a foot of space between their bodies.

                “Did you meet the others?” he asked.

                “There are nineteen of them living here,” Michael replied, his voice full of disbelief. “All these years, your family’s people have been helping mine. I don’t really know what to say.”

                “Was there anyone you knew or recognized?”

                “One woman said she was my aunt. I got a feeling around her, weaker than the one I had with my mother,” he said and swallowed hard. “We didn’t meet the healer though. Or the savior, I guess.”

                “My mom took me to her,” Alex replied. “Showed me the steps involved. Shouldn’t be too hard, if it works.”

                Michael nodded before he tilted his head to fully face him.

                “Are you okay?”

                “Honestly? No,” Alex laughed. “I hated her for so long, blamed her for leaving me with him. But she left to save the rest of her family. She left to save _your_ people. I can’t be mad at her anymore, can I?”

                Michael said nothing as he listened, keeping his eyes on Alex.

                “I never wanted to join the military. I had a different idea of what I wanted my life to be. I didn’t want to fight a war I didn’t fully believe in and I sure as hell didn’t want my father to feel like he had defeated me. But being in the military gave me some strength so I guess I should be grateful for that, I don’t know.”

                He rubbed the tiredness from his eyes and sighed.

                “But war is never something you really understand until you’re living through it and I’ve been battling different wars my whole life, Guerin. I am so tired,” he said, his voice quiet. “When I woke up in the hospital in Germany, saw my leg was gone, it wasn’t easy. I had shrapnel lodged against my spine and even thought they were able to remove it through surgery, I still couldn’t walk.”

                 Michael eyes began to glaze but he forced himself to stay quiet. Alex had never opened up before and any wrong move, Michael feared he would push the other man back into his shell.

                 “I spent six months learning how to walk again,” Alex explained, staring into space up ahead. “When I finally could, I had another four months of physio to learn how to walk without a leg. None of my brothers visited me. Flint was the only one who called.”

                 “Why didn’t you ever call me?” Michael asked, finally finding his voice again. “Do you think I would have left you there alone? That I wouldn’t have flied out on the first plane?”

                 Alex released a ragged breath and shrugged.

                 “I didn’t want anyone’s pity. All the doctors and the nurses, they would get this look on their faces, so sad whenever they came into my room and I couldn’t stand it. It’s why I declined the pain meds. I wanted to feel aware of everything, not just numb to the world. It made the pain worse but at least I knew I was alive.”

                 “Pity?” Michael asked him. “That’s what you think?”

                 “Doesn’t mater,” Alex shook his head. “But the PTSD and the nightmares, those stayed long after I could walk.”

                  He turned his head towards Michael, smiling sadly.

                  “Why do you think I didn’t stay those few nights at your trailer? My nightmares get pretty bad sometimes and I didn’t want you to see me like that. Like I was something broken.”

                  Sudden awareness hit him and it broke Michael’s heart.

                  “I’ve tried therapy and counseling but none of it works. I’m more of the suffer in silence type than talking about all my issues out loud,” he replied, meeting Michael’s eyes again. “So to answer your question, I’m not okay.”

                  Michael reached out across the small space between them to take Alex’s hand in his. The soldier quickly wiped a tear that had slipped down his cheek but let their hands stay connected.

                  “I’m not okay with the fact that my two older brothers never called or visited me for the ten months I was in the hospital,” he started. “I’m not okay with the fact that my father is a monster, that he’s responsible for so much pain and suffering and I’ll always be connected to him. I’m not okay with the fact the you and Maria hooked up without either of your speaking to me. I’m not _okay_ , Guerin.”

                  Michael nodded through his own quiet tears.

                  “But neither are you.”

                   Looking up at the words, Michael reached out with his free hand but Alex quickly untangled himself and pushed up to his feet as Nascha stopped a few feet away.

                   “We should go,” she spoke, looking between the two as they each wiped their eyes.

                   Alex nodded and made his way towards her as Michael slowly rose to his feet and followed.

                   “Anya, your Grandfather and I are all coming with you, as is Hok'ee, one of our strongest,” she motioned towards a man climbing behind the wheel of another car. “Will you come with us?”

                    Needing to separate himself from Michael, Alex nodded and moved towards the second car. Michael watched him go before taking the keys from Kyle and climbing into the driver’s side.

                    “Alex is riding with his mom?” Liz asked from the seat beside him.

                    “Yeah,” he nodded absently.

                    “Hey,” Liz touched his shoulder, forcing his gaze to her. “Let’s go get Max back. Then we’ll deal with everything else, okay?”

                    He glanced at Kyle in the back who gave an encouraging smile and finally nodded before peeling away down the road.


	5. FIVE

*****

 

                 Sighing heavily, Isobel continued pacing back and forth in the small space, glancing at Max’s pod every few seconds. When her nerves finally won over, she stopped and closed her eyes, hugging herself tightly.

                “Isobel!”

                Spinning around, she rushed forward as Michael ran inside the cave.

                “Michael, what is going on? You told me to come here and you sounded so weird on the phone. Do you want to bury him? Pull him out? What!”

                “Just calm down, Iz,” he said and looked over his shoulder as Liz and Kyle came in.

                “I don’t understand what’s happening,” Isobel said, watching as Alex walked in with two older women and an elderly man she didn’t recognize. “Someone explain right now!

                Michael sighed and pointed towards Nascha. “That’s Alex’s mom. She’s from the Navajo tribe.”

                “Okay, fascinating,” Isobel exclaimed as Liz moved towards them.

                “Long story short, her tribe knows about aliens. It’s why she left years ago. They’ve given refuge to your people over the years and when her husband was close to finding out the truth, she left to keep them all safe,” Liz explained.

                Isobel glanced between the two, trying to make sense of the information before her gaze landed on Alex.

                “The woman over there,” Michael tilted his chin to Anya, “she’s one of us, Isobel. She’s a savior like Max was.”

                Realization dawned and she quickly switched her gaze to the pod. “They want to try and save him?”

                “That’s the general idea,” Michael replied.

                Before he could speak any further, Isobel had already crossed the cave floor and pulled Alex into her arms, holding him tightly as he huffed in surprise. Whispering her gratitude in his ear, she held on for another few seconds before moving back.

                “Nothing’s guaranteed, okay?” he reminded.

                Wiping her tears, she stepped back and nodded as Liz pulled her away.

                “It’s a whole process. Let them work.”

                They watched as Anya silently reached into the small box she had carried to pull out a dark powder. Opening the bottle, she began scattering the contents around the pod before drawing an even wider circle outside the first. Grasping a second bottle, she opened the lid and splashed the contents over the pod, letting drops streak down the edge as Max floated inside. Using both hands, she pressed her palms against either side of the pod, closing her eyes and whispering. When a bluish glow started forming in the center above Max's chest, she moved away and looked to Nascha with a nod.

                “Are you sure about this?” she asked, facing her son.

                “It was my idea,” Alex shrugged. “Not going to ask anyone else to do it.”

                “You understand that it will be painful?” his Grandfather questioned.

                When Alex nodded and started removing his jacket, Michael rushed towards them.

                “What are you doing?” he asked, looking between mother and son.

                “There’s a part to the process,” Nascha began when she sensed Alex wasn’t going to speak. “As your brother has been dead for several days, bringing him back to life is a bit more difficult than if this was done right after he had been killed.”

                “So why is Alex stripping?” Michael asked, watching as Alex pulled his flannel off and the shirt underneath, leaving his bruised torso bare.

                His gaze saddened as he took a step forward, laying a gentle hand across Alex’s ribs. Looking up at the touch, Alex held his eyes for several seconds before stepping away, sighing when he saw his mother’s gaze focused on his ribs.

                “He…,” Nascha started and cleared her throat. “The strength required to bring your brother back is not enough at the hands of a savior. More energy is required.”

                “How does he fit in?” Isobel asked, moving to stand next to Michael and tiling her head at Alex.

                “The human soul is a powerful source of energy at its purest form,” Nascha explained and looked at Anya. “She will need to touch his soul to give her the right strength.”

                “No!” Michael suddenly exclaimed, meeting Alex’s gaze. “You are _not_ doing this!”

                “It’s the only way, Guerin,” Alex sighed.

                “No, I won’t let you hurt yourself!” Michael snapped. “Forget it. Use mine!”

                “We need a human soul,” Nascha spoke quietly.

                “Then use mine,” Liz offered, moving forward with Kyle. “He’s my boyfriend, Alex. You don’t owe him anything.”

                “Look, I need to do this,” Alex began and held his hand up when Michael started to protest. “I need to make up for what he did.”

                “What are you talking about?” Michael argued.

                “My father!” Alex shouted, his words echoing in the cave. “I need to make up for what he did at Caulfield!”

                Michael’s eyes widened for a moment before he closed the space between them and grabbed Alex’s hands.

                “What happened that day wasn’t your fault,” he spoke, pushing as much conviction in his tone as possible. “It doesn’t fall on you to fix anything.”

                “Doesn’t it though?” Alex asked, his gaze saddening. “His shadow will always follow me wherever I go. I’m a Manes man, remember? If I don’t try and fix everything he broke, who will?”

                “Alex…,” Michael pleaded but the soldier pulled free and moved towards Anya, stepping inside the circles.

                “Let’s just get it over with.”

                Anya looked to Nascha and his Grandfather for confirmation. When they both nodded silently, she reached forward and placed her left hand over his chest, her right fitting across the top of the pod Max was in.

                “You can’t go inside the circles,” Nascha reminded, looking at Michael. “No matter how…painful it may be, you have to stay outside.”

                Before Michael could protest again, Alex shut his eyes as his chest began to glow bright blue. A sudden scream escaped him as he fell forward on his knees, Anya’s hand pressed hard against his skin.

                “She’s hurting him!” Michael snapped but Nascha grabbed his arm and held him back.

                “I know,” she whispered, her own lip quivering.

                The energy traveled from Alex through Anya and straight into Max, making his body twitch.

                “Just stop it, please!” Michael pleaded as he watched Alex tremble on his knees, clenching his fists to keep the pain inside.

                Isobel pressed her face against his shoulder, unable to watch as Liz turned in Kyle’s stunned embrace.

                “Just a little more,” Nascha whispered.

                Anya continued chanting silently before clutching at Alex tightly a final time. As he let out a scream that rocked the walls of the cave, Anya pulled her hand away and Max burst out of the pod. Alex fell backwards but Michael quickly caught him, pulling him into his arms and running a hand through his hair.

                “Open you eyes,” he pleaded, his voice breaking as his thumb rubbed circles back and forth across Alex's cheek.

                Snapping his eyes open, Alex gasped and Michael released the breath he'd been holding. Anya looked up from her place next to Max before a smile covered her face. Liz and Isobel quickly rushed over, turning Max onto his back and covering his bare body with a blanket Isobel had kept stashed away.

                “Is he breathing?” Michael asked, refusing to let Alex go.

                Kyle kneeled down and pressed against Max’s chest when his eyes suddenly flew open, tilting to the side and coughing the fluid from his lungs. Liz was the first to pull him against her, pressing her face into his neck and sobbing. Isobel watched in stunned silence as Max slowly lifted his arms to wrap around his girlfriend. Looking up, Michael met Isobel's tearful gaze before lowering his eyes towards Alex.

                “I can’t believe you did that.”

                Blinking himself back into focus, Alex stared into Michael’s eyes for several beats before tilting his head towards Max.

                “It worked?”

                “It worked,” Michael nodded, lowering his face and pressing his forehead to Alex’s.

                “Son,” Nascha’s gentle voice pulled Michael out of his daze. “You need to let him go now.”

                “Why?” Michael asked, tightening the hold he had on the other man.

                “We need to make sure he’s okay,” she said and Michael finally released him, stepping away far enough for Kyle to move in.

                He watched them lead Alex towards the other wall before turning back towards Max who had a crying Isobel in his arms. Taking a few hesitant steps forward, he stopped in front of Max who let Isobel go and looked up at him. They stared at one another for a long while until Max finally broke and pulled Michael against him. Clinging to one another tightly, they held on and let their tears fall.

                Seeing the private moment, Alex let his smile fall away as he turned to his mother. “Let’s go.”

                “Can you even walk?” Kyle asked him. “Why didn’t you tell me what you were going to do?”

                “You would have tried to stop me,” Alex shrugged as they helped him outside into the desert night air.

                “You’re damn right I would have!” Kyle exclaimed. “You almost killed yourself!”

                “I’m just tired. I’m going to head back to the cabin but I need to say goodbye to them first,” he motioned his family just as Anya stepped out of the cave and moved towards them.

                “Alex, I think we need to get you to the hospital. Who knows what kind of damage that did on the inside,” Kyle argued.

                “I’m _okay_ ,” Alex repeated, his words making his friend sigh. “Just go take care of Max, please.”

                “I swear to God, you better get some rest.”

                “I will. I promise,” Alex nodded before a thought made him frown. “Will you come by tomorrow morning?”

                “Of course I will. I need to make sure you didn’t croak in the middle of the night,” Kyle grumbled before making his way back inside the cave.

                “Your friend is right. That took a lot out of you,” Nascha said, her voice apologetic.

                “You guys need to get back before anyone sees you,” Alex cut her off. “Just take me home before you leave, please.”

                “You could come home with us for a while,” Nascha offered.

                Before he could answer, Michael rushed outside, grabbing Alex’s arm to stop him. “Where are you going?”

                “They need to get back.”

                “Can you stay?” Michael asked, his eyes focused only on him.

                Frowning in confusion, Alex tugged his flannel back on. “Go back and be with your family, Guerin.”

                “Can I just…can I just hold you for a second?” Michael whispered.

                Before Alex had a chance to argue, Michael had already moved in and wrapped his arms around him. Pressing his face against Alex’s neck, he released a shaky breath when he felt Alex slowly lift his arms to circle his waist. They stayed that way for several seconds, oblivious to the watchful eyes around them. Snapping out of the bubble they were in, Alex looked over to see his mother’s thoughtful smile and slowly pushed Michael away.

                “Can I come see you later?” Michael asked, his hand grabbing the sides of Alex’s flannel to tug him in half a step.

                “I’m really tired,” Alex replied, staring down at Michael’s hands before looking back up in his eyes. “What are you doing?”

                “How can I thank you?” Michael asked instead, the smile on his face softening.

                Alex watched him for a moment before his shoulders squared.

                “You don’t need to thank me. Just go back and be with your family.”

                He came to move away but Michael quickly grabbed his hand. “Hey, what’s going on? Why are you upset?”

                “Please let me go,” Alex spoke slowly, keeping his eyes on the ground. “I’m tired and I’d like to go home.”

                “Okay,” Michael nodded and faced the others. “What you did was…I don’t know how to pay you back for this.”

                “You don’t have to do anything,” Nascha said, her smile gentle as she glanced between him and Alex. “We should get going.”

                Alex finally managed to extract himself and followed his Grandfather towards the car as Hok'ee sat behind the wheel. When her son was out of hearing range, Nascha faced Michael with a smile.

                “You care about him?”

                Michael breathed nervously, his eyes shining as he nodded.

                “A lot?” she questioned, her brow raised.

                “He’s everything,” he whispered before looking down. “He’s _everything_.”

                Her smile widened and she reached out to touch his cheek before moving away. Michael watched the car disappear until only the dust had remained. Confused by the interaction with Alex, he moved back into the cave just as Kyle gave Max a pat on his shoulder.

                “You seem okay physically but it’s probably best you come by the hospital so we can draw some blood, run some tests,” Kyle explained.

                “Can that wait until tomorrow?” Liz asked, leaning her head against Max’s shoulder as he wrapped one arm around her. “Can we just take him home for tonight?”

                “Yeah, that should be fine but keep a close eye on him,” Kyle replied before reaching for his vibrating phone. “It’s the hospital. I have to get back. I’ll take Alex’s car. Are you guys okay leaving from here?”

                “Yeah, we’ll be fine. Thank you Kyle,” Liz smiled, squeezing his hand.

                “Alright, good to see you breathing again Evans,” Kyle smirked. “Plus, you brought my sister back so I guess thank you.”

                Exchanging a final glance with Liz, he jogged out of the cave as Max turned to Liz with a frown.

                “Sister?” he asked before remembering. “Wait, is Rosa really back?”

                “Yes,” Liz said, smiling through her tears as she pulled Max into her arms again. “I don’t know whether to kiss you or kill you again.”

                Max smiled over her shoulder at his siblings before pulling back to look into Liz’s eyes.

                “I love you,” he simply said.

                “I love you too,” she whispered, kissing him sweetly.

                Isobel smiled between them before taking a step forward to take Max’s hand. They stared at one another for a long moment until she laughed and pulled away, dragging Michael towards her.

                “Alex Manes,” she said, shaking her head in disbelief. “Who would have guessed?”

                “How _did_ you bring me back?” Max groaned.

                “It’s a long story,” Michael said with a small smile. “I’m really glad you’re okay.”

                Max reached out with his free hand to grip Michael’s newly healed one. They stared at one another for several beats until Max tightened his grip.

                “I’m so sorry, Michael,” he started, staring down at their hands. “You never gave me consent and I healed it anyway. I understand what the injury meant to you.”

                Michael nodded and released a heavy sigh. “It’s okay. I don’t need the injury anymore, I guess. I have the real thing.”

                “Where did Alex go?” Liz asked, leaning her head up and wiping the remaining tears from her eyes. “I wanted to thank him if that’s even possible for what he did.”

                “He left with his family. They probably want to head back under darkness.”

                “So why are you here?” Isobel asked as he turned to face her. “Michael, you want Alex back, right?”

                “Yes,” he said quietly.

                “You want to take him in your arms and kiss the life out of him and never let him go, right?” Isobel continued.

                Michael blushed as he stared between the smiling faces and nodded. “Yes.”

                “Then what are you still doing here? Go after him!” Isobel exclaimed.

                “She’s right, you know,” Liz smiled. “We saw how hard it was for him, seeing his mother again, talking to her after all those years. Knowing why she left, why she abandoned him. But Michael, he did all of that, all of _this_ , for _you_.”

                He met her eyes and swallowed hard.

                “You do get that, right?” Liz asked.

                “Yeah, I do,” he said with a chuckle. “I want to fix things but he’s a bit distant right now.”

                “Does he know you and Maria are over?” Isobel asked and he groaned loudly. “No wonder the poor guy’s confused. Michael, you need to fix this.”

                “I will. I’ll go over to see him tomorrow. He’s with his mother right now. I don’t want to get in the way of that,” he shrugged. “Besides, we need to get you home. Come on.”

                Reaching over, he pulled Max’s arm over his shoulder and pulled him to his feet.

                “Would have been nice if you guys brought some clothes,” Max chuckled, gripping the blanket tight around his hips. “Let’s go home.”

  
                ********

                “So this is where you live?” Nascha asked, staring through the dimmed car window at the cabin. “It’s a bit secluded outside town.”

                “I like it that way,” Alex shrugged. “I like the quiet.”

                She smiled sadly as she reached down to take his hands.

                “Why don’t you come back with us for a while,” she repeated her offer from before. “We can spend some time together.”

                Alex looked out of his window but kept his hands tangled with hers.

                “I know it won’t be that easy to forgive me, forgive us,” she started, exchanging a smile with her father. “But we can try, can’t we?”

                “I can’t,” he said, facing her again.

                Her disappointment was obvious as she started pulling away but he tightened his grip on her hands to keep her near him.

                “I mean I’ve been recalled to active duty. I deploy tomorrow.”

                She stared at him, frozen in shock by the words, before pulling him tight against her chest. He huffed out a breath before raising his own arms around her.

                “Why? I don’t understand. You said on the phone when we spoke last that your enlistment period was ending,” she said, moving back to catch his eyes. “Did you reenlist?”

                “No,” he shook his head. “Orders came from up top.”

                “But your injury,” his Grandfather reminded.

                “I know,” Alex sighed, glancing between them. “Dad’s involved. You know he is.”

                “Alex,” she started, running a hand across her eyes. “Can you fight it?”

                “Go AWOL?” he chuckled. “There’s nothing I can do. If the orders came from somewhere up the command chain, I just have to grin and bear it.”

                “When do you leave?”

                “Tomorrow around noon,” he replied. “Thank you for what you did tonight. It meant more than you know.”

                “You did it for Michael, didn’t you?” she asked softly.

                When he looked down but didn’t deny, she squeezed his hand again.

                “You love him?” she asked.

                “Yes,” he smiled sadly. “But I don’t think he loves me, not anymore.”

                “Alex, I don’t know about that,” she laughed gently. “The way he was looking at you.”

                “He’s dating one of my closest friends,” he cut her off. “Chose to be with her a few days ago. I was upset, I still am but it’s not like I’m going to get in between them. I just don’t understand why he won’t let me go. Why he keeps looking at me like that.”

                “I think you should talk with him,” she suggested.

                “What’s the point?” he shrugged. “He finally moved on and I’m leaving tomorrow anyway.”

                “Will you at least say goodbye to him?” she asked.

                Instead of answering, he bit his lip before pulling her into a quick embrace. She melted against him, her eyes shining when he pulled back.

                “Just be careful, please,” he said, clearing his throat. “Don’t let Dad find you or figure out what you’ve been doing.”

                “We’ll be careful,” she smiled, touching his cheek. “Alex, please stay safe. Please come home.”

                “I will,” he promised but she could see the lie beneath his smile.

                Giving his Grandfather a final nod, he climbed out of the car and shut the door behind him, not glancing back as he walked into his cabin. Once the door was shut and the sound of the car departing filled his ears, he moved towards his couch and sank into the cushions. Burying his face in his hands, he let the weight of everything that had happened finally hit him.

              
                ********

                “Morning, Captain!” Kyle greeted, bursting through the cabin doors with a smile. “Alex, you here?”

                “I’ll be right out,” he called from the bedroom. “What happened last night? Was Max okay? Did you guys get him home?”

                “He seemed okay. I had to bail but I saw him this morning. They’re at Liz’s place right now. Rosa pretty much broke down when she saw him. Doesn’t even know the guy but she can’t stop hugging him,” Kyle chuckled as he leaned back against the kitchen island. “Pretty crazy what our lives are.”

                “I know,” Alex agreed, walking towards him dressed in his uniform with his bag slung across his shoulders.

                “Why are you all dressed up?” Kyle frowned. “How are you feeling, by the way? You left before I had a chance to really examine you.”

                “I’m as good as you can expect,” Alex chuckled. “The bruise on my chest is less than yesterday. More of a dull ache now.”

                “Alright, so why are you all dressed up then?” Kyle asked again.

                “I’m heading out in a little bit,” Alex replied and when he saw Kyle’s confusion, he sighed. “I’ve been recalled. I ship out in a couple hours.”

                “What?” Kyle exclaimed, pushing forward from his lean. “What are you talking about?”

                Pulling the keys from his pocket, he tossed them to Kyle who caught mid air.

                “Take care of this place for me, will you? It was a good home,” Alex smiled. “Minus the attack, anyway.”

                “Alex, just wait,” Kyle tried to cut in but the soldier reached for a set of papers on the counter beside them.

                “My car’s a lease. I already cancelled it so if you could just drop it off at the dealership, it would help me out a lot,” he continued and flipped to the other stack of papers. “I had my will redone. I don’t really own a lot of possessions but I have a little money in the bank saved up and I want that to go to the charities I listed in case something happens.”

                “Alex…,” Kyle tried again.

                “I transferred the cabin into your name. Should have been yours to begin with. You can choose to keep or sell it. Up to you.”

                “Alex, stop!” Kyle finally shouted. “I don’t understand. Why are you talking about your _will_?”

                “Kyle, please just do what I said,” Alex pleaded.

                “How are they even allowed to recall you?” Kyle demanded. “It’s not just your leg, Alex. You have a multitude of psychological issues.”

                “Thanks,” Alex replied in defense.

                “No, you know what I mean! Why is this happening? You were going to be out in three days.”

                “I wish I had the answers, man, but I don’t,” he shrugged, his exhaustion showing on his face. “Will you do what I asked?”

                “Just, hold on for a second.”

                Instead of answering, Alex closed the distance between them and pulled Kyle into a warm embrace. Fighting it off for a few seconds, Kyle eventually deflated and hugged him back.

                “Promise you’ll stay safe,” he said when they pulled away.

                “This isn’t my first war, Kyle,” Alex chuckled.

                “Not making me feel any better.”

                Losing his smile, Alex nodded. “Flint’s actually coming with me. Decided he wants to be brothers again.”

                “Tell him he better watch your back,” Kyle exclaimed.

                Smiling wryly, Alex left the papers on the counter before motioning to the small kitchen table beside them.

                “What is that?” Kyle asked, staring at a small wrapped parcel with an envelope on top.

                “Will you give that to Guerin for me?”

                “Dude, I am not going to be the one to break the news to him!”

                “He said he was going to come by this morning but I can’t wait anymore. Besides, it’s better this way. I don’t think I could have said goodbye to him in person,” Alex said, his smile growing sad. “Take care of everyone?”

                “You know I will.”

                “Check in on my mom too?”

                “I will,” Kyle smiled.

                “Alright, I should go. I think my cab’s here,” Alex said as he moved towards the door, turning back a final time. “I’m glad we’re friends again.”

                “Me too,” Kyle nodded. "Stay in touch from over there, you hear me? Don't leave me hanging, worried out of my mind."

                Alex smiled in response. Before Kyle could say anything more, he had already walked out of the door, leaving him in nothing but silence. Glancing around the empty cabin, he slowly made his way through the space. Everything had been tidied and all of Alex’s personal belonging were set aside in three small boxes in the corner of the bedroom. Staring at the packages, Kyle slowly sunk to the floor, pressing his head back against the door and closing his eyes.

                An hour had passed when a loud knock sounded from outside. Slowly rising, he dragged his feet towards the door and swung it open, sighing when he saw Michael standing on the other side, smiling brightly.

                “Hey,” Michael greeted. “Where’s Alex?”

                Kyle glanced down at the single stem white rose Michael was holding and shut his eyes,

                “Kyle?” Michael repeated his name. “What’s going on?”

                “You should come in,” Kyle said as he moved away.

                Michael watched him for a moment before taking a step inside the cabin. Glancing around himself, he took in the silence that engulfed the space before facing Kyle again.

                “You planning on telling me what’s going on?”

                “Why are you here with a flower?” Kyle asked instead.

                “That’s none of your business.”

                “Aren’t you and De Luca together?”

                “Not anymore,” Michael snapped. “What’s with the questions. Where’s Alex?”

                “He’s gone,” Kyle replied, sighing again. “They redeployed him overseas. He’s probably on the plane right now.”

                “What are you talking about?” Michael chuckled. “His enlistment is ending soon. They can't redeploy him. He’s got an injury!”

                “He was pretty sure Daddy Dearest was involved somehow,” Kyle shrugged.

                “Fine, I’ll just go to the base,” Michael replied. “I need to talk to him.”

                “Guerin,” Kyle started.

                “I have to talk to him! He can’t leave without me talking to him!”

                “Guerin, he’s _gone_!” Kyle exclaimed.

                Michael took deep, heavy breaths as he ran his free hand through his curls, his eyes beginning to glaze.

                “He can’t just be gone.”

                “He gave me the papers for his car and the key to the cabin. All his stuff is already packed in boxes back there,” Kyle pointed down the hall. “He gave me a copy of his will.”

                “No,” Michael shook his head. “No, this doesn’t make sense. I need to get to the base.”

                Taking a step forward, Kyle reached out to touch his shoulder. “He left that for you.”

                Michael slowly turned his gaze behind him towards the parcel on the kitchen table but broke when he saw the envelope on top.

                “Take your time,” Kyle whispered as he made his way outside, quietly closing the door behind him.

                Michael stared at the parcel for several seconds until his feet forced him forward. Dropping onto one of the chairs, he lowered the flower before reaching for the envelope. Unable to bring himself to open it yet, he set it aside and slowly began unwrapping the parcel instead. When he pulled the final strap aside, he dropped the glass piece on the table and clasped a fist against his mouth, tears filling his eyes. He stayed frozen for several seconds before his fingers reached for the envelope and pulled the letter open.

 

_Guerin,_

_When you read this, I’ll probably be on the plane. They recalled me to active duty overseas. There’s no way I would get medical clearance, so I know my father is involved somehow. I hate going back but I don’t fear it the way I used to. I’m only afraid of what I’ll be left with when I’m finally done fighting. I’ve learnt how to deal with the triggers, but I don’t think I’ll ever get past the nightmares._

_There’s a lot I wish I would have said over the years but internalizing everything has been one of my greatest vices. We’ve had similar lives, Guerin. We’ve both been through trauma. We’ve both been abused and neglected. But I need you to do better than me. Don’t hide your emotions. Stop drinking alcohol or acetone to numb the pain away. Stop getting into bar fights just so you can feel something. You need to face your grief and find a way to make peace with everything that’s happened. You need to let yourself feel it. That’s the only way you can heal. Don’t bottle everything up like I did until there’s nothing left inside you but the pain. You’re not alone, Guerin. You have people who care about you. Isobel, Liz, Maria and now Max again too. I wanted to do one last thing for you before I left. I thought if I could try and bring your brother back, maybe it would help heal the wound of losing your mother. I know nothing could ever change what happened in Caulfield that day, but maybe having Max back will give you the chance you need to start healing with everything else. So don’t shut them out. Let them in._

_You’re probably surprised that I have the glass piece. When I first found it, I didn’t even know what it was. But when you showed me your console, it scared me, Guerin. The thought of losing you suddenly became real. That fear pushed me to keep it hidden and for that, I’m sorry. I had other chances to give it to you but then Caulfield happened. Maria happened. There never seemed to be a right moment. I’m giving it to you now because it’s my last chance. I hope the answers you’re looking for are out there somewhere. Or maybe they’re on Earth with the people that love you. You’re the one who has to figure out what those answers are and where they lie. At least now with the final missing piece of your console, maybe you can._

_This isn’t me walking away. I’m being forced to go. Please understand the difference. You choosing to be with Maria hurt, Guerin. The way you went about it hurt even more. But I understand it better now. I get why you couldn’t be with me anymore. Why you needed someone different. Too much damage has happened between us. Even though my mother and her people have been helping your kind all these years, it’s my father’s shadow I’ll never be able to escape. It’s loomed over me all my life and it always will, even if I can defeat him one day. You said it yourself. When you look at me, you see him too and you see everything he’s done so I get it. My leaving may just be the best thing for you in the end. Maybe now you can finally move on._

_I want you to know that I won’t carry any of that anger with me. I need to focus on where I’m going and put all my effort in figuring a way to finally shut my father down. I don’t want to defeat him just for you or for Kyle or for any of the people he’s hurt. I want to defeat him for me. For so long, every door that I opened, behind every fear, he was standing at the root of it. Attacking me the way he did the other night, it was his way of making me quake and he succeeded. It surfaced all those silenced memories from high school, the years I wish I could just forget. But it also reinforced the hatred I feel for him. I’ve been dead in his eyes for a long time and now, he’s finally dead to me._

_If I want to keep my head on straight and get myself through the next couple years, I have to let my anger from everything else go. You can’t march onto a battlefield with your head everywhere but the war you’re fighting in. That’ll just get you killed so I need to let everything go and that includes letting you go too. You took that first painful step when you went to Maria. You cut that tether that’s always existed between us. Now it’s my turn to do the same. Just do me one final favor and keep your heart open to love and happiness. Whether it’s with Maria or with someone you haven’t met or off in the universe somewhere, just let yourself be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you._

_I’ll never look at the stars and not think of you. For so long, I thought our paths were lined together even when there was an ocean of space between us, even when we were fighting or pushing each other away. But things have a habit of not turning out the way you thought they would. I mean, when I was fifteen, I thought I’d either be a famous songwriter or a professional skater before I turned thirty. Disabled war veteran is definitely not the vision I had but it’s who I am now. You can’t change your past or anything that’s happened. All you can do is try and carve a better future for yourself and that’s what I want for you. So, take care of yourself. You deserve so much happiness and I hope that you can find it._

_Goodbye Michael_

_Alex_

  
               Lowering the letter to the table, Michael leaned back in his seat, his eyes stunned, wide open. Turning his gaze towards the wilted flower, he shut his eyes and let the sobs he was holding finally burst out of him.

 

 

               


	6. SIX

*****

 

**Twenty months later**

 

                Slipping his sunglasses over his eyes, Alex switched off the air condition and lowered the window, letting the warm desert air spread through the car. Driving just enough over the speed limit, he silenced the blaring radio and dialed through the center console.

                _“Hey Captain!”_ Kyle’s voice came through. _“I’ve missed you, man! We haven’t talked in a week.”_

“Hey Kyle,” Alex smiled at his friend’s excitement. “My trip got moved up because of work so I’ll be heading into town today.”

                _“Why didn’t you tell me? What time’s your flight landing? I’ll pick you up.”_

“I actually flew into Albuquerque for a meeting so I’m driving down to Roswell right now,” he replied and glanced around the vehicle. “The car rental only had one left and the Agent kept looking at me funny before he gave me the keys. Damn thing’s been making noises the past twenty minutes. It better not die on me before I get to town.”

                Kyle’s loud chuckle echoed through the speakers.

                “So how’s everyone? How’s Liz?”

                _“Very, very pregnant.”_

“It’ll be good to see her.”

_“Trust me, everyone wants to see you.”_

                “Kyle,” Alex started.

_“Look, I know that when you left, you had no choice. You were recalled and you had to go and when your redeployment ended, you started a new life for yourself in New York. I get all that. But Alex, you still have family here. You know that, man.”_

                 Sighing, Alex rubbed the nape of his neck. “I know.”

_“I really think you should see everyone while you’re in town.”_

                 “Of course I will,” Alex exclaimed.

_“I meant Guerin.”_

                 Before he could reply, a loud spluttering drew his focus to the gauges.

                _“What’s that noise?”_

                A heavy shake overtook the vehicle and Alex had a second to glance behind him, making sure the road was clear before pulling off to the side just as a painful sound signalled the car's death.

                “Oh come on!” he shouted as Kyle continued to laugh through the speakers.

                _“Where are you exactly?”_

                Glancing out his open window, he strained to see the sign several feet behind him.

                “I’m at mile marker ninety-eight.”

                _“That’s about an hour outside town. I’ll call a tow for you. Just stay there.”_

                “Where else would I go?” he grumbled and cut the phone off when Kyle cackled again.

                Sighing heavily, he opened his door and climbed out of the car. Glancing down either side of the empty road, all he saw was desert terrain stretched out for miles around the highway. A laugh bubbled from his throat as he watched a tumbleweed blowing in the wind.

                “Toto, you’re not in New York anymore,” he shook his head, reaching into the backseat to grab a bottle of water before climbing onto the hood to give himself a good view from either side of the road.

                Twenty months ago, he had boarded a plane at Holloman base, only saying goodbye to Kyle, before landing at the training station at Herat, Afghanistan. Going by his word, Flint had followed after two days. Despite his requests to have his deployment overturned, Alex had been given emergency medical clearance and was cleared for duty. The first few months had been filled with training exercises at the base and intelligence analytics behind a desk he’d been given. By the time the fourth month of his tour had passed, Alex, Flint and several others from the Air Force had been tasked to assist the Ranger patrols in the evacuation of locals from the northern States as violence escalated from insurgent attacks. They’d climbed into the Humvees and said goodbye to the brief safety at Herat.

               Before memories of those volatile months could flood his mind, Alex shook the thoughts away and took a large gulp of water. Leaning his head back against the windshield, he closed his eyes and let the warm sunshine spread over his body. When minutes passed and not a single car or truck passed him, he sat up in frustration, running his fingers through his wind swept hair. His tour had ended six months ago, allowing his hair to grow a bit longer at the ends. The distant sound of tires brought him back to the present and he climbed off the hood as a tow truck neared him from the opposite side of the road, pulling to a stop on the shoulder. The driver sat in the truck for several seconds, obscured by the tinted windows. Just as he was about to raise his hand to wave, the door opened and Alex felt his heart freeze in his chest.

                Michael slowly climbed out, dressed in his usual jeans and white tee, a smear of grease at the hem with his hair as curly as Alex remembered. They stared at one another from across the road for several seconds, neither able to speak until Michael finally broke the trance and walked over.

                “Hey Private,” he smiled.

                Swallowing hard, Alex licked his lips without realizing, the move quickly drawing Michael’s gaze down. “It’s still Captain.”

                The smile on Michael’s face grew into a smirk as he stepped even closer.

                “Hi Guerin.”

                “Alex,” he spoke the name like a soft caress.

                “It’s good to see you. You look good,” Alex stumbled through his words.

                Michael watched him, his smile softening as he took in the other man’s dark jeans, maroon shirt, longer hair and aviators that covered the eyes he used to drown in. An overwhelming feeling of want settled in Michael’s stomach but he cleared his throat to stop from reaching out.

                “Let’s see what the problem is,” he said, moving around to pull the hood open.

                Alex slowly turned and watched as Michael bent over the engine. His eyes scanned the back of Michael’s jeans before he caught himself and quickly looked away.

                “Tore your fan belt,” Michael observed, straightening to his full height. “I don’t have any spares for this model but I can order it for you. How long are you staying in town for?”

                “Three days,” he replied, his voice sounding rougher than he wanted.

                “I’ll order it for you. It should get here soon. Where are you staying?”

                “The Bed and Breakfast on Fulton.”

                Michael lowered the hood before glancing upwards, his move forcing Alex to do the same. The sun had all but disappeared, leaving a stormy sky in its wake.

                “The storm’s about to get pretty bad out here. We’re still an hour outside of town,” he said, moving towards his truck. “I’ll tow you back to my place and you can ride the storm out over there.”

                Alex turned to protest but Michael had already climbed back into his truck and reversed in front of the car. Standing off to the side, he watched as Michael worked, letting his eyes focus on the stretched muscles at his biceps before forcing his eyes to glance away.

                “Alright, come on,” Michael waved him towards the truck.

                Climbing in together, they rolled up their windows and peeled down the road just as the rain started barreling down on them.

                “I’m lucky you came when you did,” Alex said absently.

                When he caught Michael’s small grin, realization dawned and he quickly grabbed his cell.

                **_Could you be any less obvious?_** He shot a text to Kyle.

                The reply was a smirking emoji which made Alex vow to kill Kyle when he saw him.

                “Aren’t you on the other end of town?” Alex suddenly asked, putting his phone away.

                “I’m not at the Airstream anymore.”

                “Oh,” he said and looked straight ahead, mentally readying himself to be taken to the house Michael shared with Maria or whoever else he was involved with.

                “So you never said goodbye,” Michael remarked after driving in silence for a few minutes.

                “You got my letter, didn’t you?” Alex asked, glancing over worriedly.

                “I did,” Michael nodded. “Not the same as saying goodbye in person.”

                “I guess you were hard to say goodbye to,” Alex shrugged. “I could get all my thoughts out in a letter better than I could have face to face.”

                “You didn’t stay in touch,” Michael added, keeping his gaze fixed on the road.

                “Thought it would be better that way.”

                “Better for who?” Michael asked quietly.

                “For both of us,” Alex replied. “At least that way, you were able to move on properly and I was able to go overseas and keep my head focused.”

                “Right,” Michael said, his voice absent.

                Before Alex was able to question him, they pulled off the main road and ducked under a large sign that read MILEX RANCH. Nearing the end of the path, Alex was able to see a house stapled in the middle with a barn off to the left and a smaller structure on the other side, MILEX MECHANICS.

                “This is all yours?” he asked when Michael pulled to a stop outside the garage.

                “Yeah,” he smiled and pointed to the calmer rain. “Grab your stuff. The break will only last a couple minutes.”

                Stepping out of the truck, Alex reached for his overnight bag and followed Michael down the path, climbing onto the large porch that wrapped around the house. Pulling the door open, Michael let Alex walk through before closing the door behind them. Lowering his bag to the floor, Alex toed off his wet shoes and took a few cautious steps inside the house.

                “It’s just me here,” Michael commented, smiling at Alex’s tentative stride.

                Chuckling nervously, Alex moved towards the furnished living room.

                “Look at you, all grown up,” he teased, tossing a smile over his shoulder.

                Michael took a breath at the smile he was given and slowly followed Alex into the room.

                “This is really nice,” he commented, turning around to fully face him.

                “Thank you.”

                They stared at one another for a long time before Alex caught himself and looked towards the main wall across the sofa where several frames had been pinned. As Alex let his eyes scan across the photos, he smiled at the captured moments. Liz and Max smiling together, Liz and Rosa laughing as Kyle squeezed them from behind, Isobel smirking at the camera in a lone portrait, one of Michael, Isobel and Max from their high school days and one of Isobel and Maria smirking at one another. The photo in the center of the spread was a lone portrait of Alex taken at the reunion over two years ago, the frame larger than the rest. He stared at his own photo for a long time, taking in the cautious expression and squared shoulders he often carried back then.

                “It’s funny. I feel like a completely different person from the guy in that photo and still in a lot of ways, I feel exactly the same.”

                “Your hair’s a bit longer now,” Michael added.

                The resulting laugh that Alex gave made Michael want to reach out and pull him into his arms but he settled for a smile of his own.

                “Why are these ones empty?” he asked, pointing to the three vacant frames on the end.

                “I’m hoping to fill them in eventually."

                Alex let his smile disappear at the gentleness in Michael’s gaze and leaned back a step.

                “Where’s Maria?”

                Michael bit his lip to stop his laughter and pointed to the photo of her and Isobel.

                “She’s happy and in love, as far as I know,” he replied. “With my sister.”

                When Alex’s eyes widened in surprise, Michael couldn’t keep his laughter in.

                “They just celebrated their year and a half anniversary two weeks ago.”

                “But I thought…,” Alex started.

                “Me and her were over before you left.”

                Alex swallowed hard at the significance of the statement when a sudden strike of thunder made him jump.

                “Sorry, it just reminds me of…,” he started to apologize before shaking his head. “So, new house?”

                “Sanders passed away a few months after you left and he had given me his business. This land was his too, surprisingly. But the place was run down and boarded up, not live in condition. I ended up selling the business. Not too much profit but enough to buy the materials to build this place back up and the barn too. The auto shop is just an extension I made on the garage so I can properly work out of it.”

                “It’s a beautiful house,” Alex said, his smile genuine. “The man hardly ever spoke to you and he left you all of this. You deserve it, Guerin. I’m happy for you.”

                Michael’s smile softened as he stared up from under his lashes. “Want a tour?”

                Alex nodded and followed him up the stairs towards the first empty bedroom.

                “Just a guest room in case Isobel or someone wanted to stay over,” he shrugged and led Alex down the hall.

                “Are you expecting?” Alex asked, taking in the baby theme inside the second room.

                “No,” Michael chuckled. “Just hoping for one day.”

                He ducked his head and walked towards the master bedroom, moving to the side to let Alex in. A king bed was placed against the opposite wall, a black plywood headboard stretched across the top with maroon bedding covering the mattress. The dark colours and dimmed lighting gave the room an intimate glow.

                “Do you like it?” Michael asked quietly.

                “I do,” Alex nodded, meeting his gaze.

                The sudden blaring of his cell made Alex jump before answering.

                “What, Kyle?” he demanded, his tone making Michael chuckle. “Yes, mother, I’m fine.”

                He rolled his eyes at Michael who smiled as he slowly approached him.

                “No, I won’t actually kill you. I’ll talk to you later,” he said and hung up. “Sorry.”

                Michael’s eyes sparkled as they watched one another in comfortable silence. When his cell started blaring again, Alex groaned.

                “What, Kyle!” he exclaimed before his expression changed. “Hi Ben.”

                Mouthing an apology, Alex ducked his head and walked out of the room, making his way downstairs. Michael’s happy mood quickly soured but he forced his thoughts to stay neutral and gradually made his way down to the kitchen.

                “Yes, Ben, that’s what it means,” Alex said, rubbing his eyes in frustration. “Look, I’m busy. I’ll call you later.”

                Hanging up, he tossed his cell on the kitchen counter just as Michael stepped beside him.

                “Everything ok?”

                “Boyfriend,” Alex grumbled and the word made Michael’s heart suddenly freeze. “Well, ex-boyfriend I guess. We’re on a break.”

                “On a break?” Michael choked out, feeling the sensation return to his body.

                “For the past month but I don’t think he got the memo,” Alex replied and smiled. “I really like your house. Especially the porch outside that wraps around it.”

                Michael felt his panic melt away and his own smile returned as he reached over to open the fridge. “Want a drink? I have beer, water, lemonade.”

                “Beer’s good.”

                Grabbing two bottles from inside, he snatched the caps off and slid one towards Alex.

                “I can’t believe all the renovations you did on this place. It must have taken months.”

                “I had a lot of pent up frustration to spare,” Michael replied, taking in the sudden sadness in Alex’s gaze. “You said in your letter I should try and find a way to make peace with everything that happened so I can heal. It wasn’t easy at first, especially since you were gone on top of everything.”

                “I’m sorry,” Alex whispered.

                “Don’t apologize. You got redeployed overseas, drawn back into another war,” Michael replied, reaching out to hold his hand.

                Alex gasped at the sudden contact but Michael held on until the other man squeezed back.

                “I’m sorry you had to go back there,” Michael added and Alex nodded, blinking through his suddenly glazed eyes. “But you were right. I had to make some changes. Getting into bar fights, getting drunk every night, what had that done for me during the decade we spent apart? I had to take a different approach this time so I could make you proud. So I could make my _mother_ proud.”

                Alex felt his breath catch but Michael continued without notice.

                “This project ended up being the best thing. But it wasn’t just me. Kyle and Max helped a lot too. Isobel named herself Project Manager which meant she stood under the shade and ordered the rest of us around.”

                “I don’t know her too well but that does sound like her,” Alex chuckled, secretly wiping at his eyes.

                “It was good, very therapeutic. The only missing piece was _you_.”

                Alex looked away at his words, making Michael take a step forward. When Alex turned back to him with wide, anxious eyes, Michael swallowed all the words he wanted to say and smiled instead.

                “Can I get my hug now?”

                “Your hug?” Alex choked, laughing nervously.

                “I would have hugged you on the side of the road but I figured doing it here would be better.”

                “How did you know I would have said yes to coming here? I could have asked you to drive through the rain to the Bed and Breakfast,” Alex countered.

                “Call it a sixth sense,” Michael shrugged. “Come on, Private. Let me hold you for a second.”

                Alex bit his lip in hesitation. The moment he nodded, Michael pulled him close against his chest. Wrapping his arms around Alex’s waist, he pressed his face inwards as Alex slowly lifted his arms around the broad shoulders.

                “You smell good,” Michael whispered, unable to filter himself.

                Alex felt his heart start to flutter and couldn’t stop his arms when they squeezed tighter around the other man. They stayed locked in each other’s embrace for a long time, neither willing to let go when another clasp of thunder made Alex jump backwards, untangling himself in the process.

                “Sorry!” he apologized again. “It just sounds like…”

                “It’s okay. I get it. You don’t have to explain,” Michael assured him. “Are you hungry? I have some leftover pasta from last night I could heat up. Or I could cook us something.”

                “Pasta sounds good,” Alex smiled. “Can I use your bathroom?”

                “Just down the hall,” he pointed and watched as Alex disappeared before making his way to the fridge.

                “Just take a deep breath,” Alex spoke out loud, his hands gripping the sides of the sink as he stared at his reflection in the mirror. “It’s just Guerin. Just Guerin…who you weren’t expecting to see and looks better than ever.”

                Shaking his head, Alex cupped his hands under the faucet and dabbed cold water over his face. Drying himself, he took another deep breath and made his way back down the hallway. Walking to the living room, he watched as Michael placed two plates of their dinner on the coffee table before they exchanged smiles and settled side by side on the cushions.

                “Do you want some TV?” Michael asked him.

                “We could just talk, maybe? Catch up?” Alex suggested and the pleased smile Michael gave sent shivers down his spine.

                “So where are you living?” Michael started the conversation once they were halfway through their food.

                “I have an apartment at Greenwich Village in Manhattan. It’s not huge or anything but I like the area,” Alex shrugged. “I commute to McGuire Air Force base every day in Jersey.”

                “What do they have you doing?”

                “When my enlistment finally ended, my Colonel gave me a commendation for a Senior Codebreaker position in intelligence analytics. It’s still with the military but I work out of the office now on the base. No more uniforms,” Alex replied, giving a small smile.

                “Guess all the Project Shepherd business was good for something, right?” Michael asked and they shared another small smile. “Do you like what you do?”

                “I’m good at it and my boss, Rick, is a pretty good guy. Had to beg him to take the days off and come here, though. Just over five months at the job and the guy is attached to my hip.”

                “Harboring a crush on you?” Michael teased.

                “He’s married to his beautiful wife and they have twin girls,” Alex chuckled. “I’m good at what I do and it makes him look good too, I guess. He’s a good guy, though. I like working for him.”

                Nodding, Michael reached for his beer to take a long sip. “So, who’s Ben?”

                “Ben,” Alex shook his head, grabbing his own bottle. “He works in the same building, but not in my department. He’s a software engineer.”

                “How did you meet?”

                Alex watched him for a moment before a nervous chuckle escaped his throat.

                “Is this not weird? Us talking about this stuff?”

                “Why would it be weird?” Michael asked. “Is it because we haven’t seen each other in almost two years?”

                “No,” Alex said, looking down, “because it’s you and me.”

                Michael swallowed hard as he nodded. “We’re catching up, right? Means we talk about everything.”

                “I guess so,” Alex said before laughing. “Besides, it’s not like we’re going to fall back into bed like last time so maybe we can actually be friends now.”

                “Friends. Right, friends,” Michael forced a smile onto his face before clearing his throat. “So how did you meet?”

                “In the cafeteria one day,” Alex finally explained, sipping his beer as he placed his mostly eaten plate back on the table. “I started the job about two weeks after my enlistment ended. My head was all over the place. I was happy to work to distract myself but I wasn’t really all there, you know?”

                Michael placed his own plate on the table and turned to face him, his arm spread across the top edge of the couch as his fingers stopped short of Alex’s neck.

                “One day, he sat beside me and gave this cheesy line he stole from some movie. I was tired of being alone and he was nice so I said yes to dinner.”

                “How long were you together for?”

                “Over four months,” Alex said, tilting his own body towards Michael without realizing. “He got a bit too clingy though. Called and texted every day.”

                “Isn’t that how a relationship works?” Michael asked, his fingers pressing into the collar of Alex’s shirt.

                “Depends who it’s with, I guess,” he replied, subconsciously tilting his head towards the feather light touches. “Anyway, I asked for some space but I don’t think he understood what that meant. This trip couldn’t happen at a better time.”

                Taking another sip of his beer, he let his head lean backwards and gently trapped Michael’s hand between him and the sofa, warmth radiating through both at the small touch that connected them.

                “What happened between you and Maria?” he finally voiced the question he desperately wanted an answer to. “Why didn’t you work out? I thought you…really cared about her.”

                Michael took in the discomfort and hurt on Alex’s face, masked behind a friendly veil of indifference and sighed.

                “You can care about someone but not want to be with them romantically,” he replied and the words brought genuine surprise to Alex’s face.

                “Wow. That’s…I don’t know what to say. I just thought after everything…,” Alex began and cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, Guerin.”

                “Don’t be,” he shook his head. “She’s happy in love with Isobel. For me, she was never the right choice anyway. I knew it then too.”

                Alex swallowed and stared ahead, taking a large gulp from his beer.

                “How many hearts have you broken since then?” he asked, forcing a laugh.

                Michael’s gaze saddened. “Hookups and one night stands, right?”

                “I didn’t mean anything by it,” Alex said, quickly spinning back around and moving half a step closer on the cushion. “I’m sorry. Being around you has kind of thrown me, I guess. I wasn’t expecting to see you.”

                “You wouldn’t have visited me?”

                “Why open old wounds?” Alex asked but gave an easy smile. “But we’re past all that, right? We’ve both moved on. I mean, Guerin, look at this place. You can see how much time and effort you put into perfecting it. Amazing is too small a word for this.”

                With his smile returning, Michael shuffled in his seat, bringing him inches closer.

                “I have six horses here too,” he said and Alex let his own smile grow. “The caretaker Paul lives here full time, has a place above the barn. Two others come in during the day to help out. Sometimes we get people drop by for lessons or wanting to go down the trail towards the Lakes. It’s a really nice trail. I’d like to take you there.”

                “That sounds nice,” Alex said with a sigh. “I’ve never ridden on a horse before.”

                “I can show you,” Michael spoke quietly.

                Alex licked his lips out of habit and when Michael’s gaze lowered, he blinked and moved back a few inches, surprised at how close they had gotten.

                “How’s everyone else? I mostly stayed in touch with Kyle. Spoke with Liz a few times. Is morning sickness treating her okay?”

                “She’s good. Ready to push the kid out but she still has six weeks left,” Michael chuckled. “You already know Valenti’s dating Jenna. She showed up last year with her sister, got her old job back and one day, just went to the bar and got drunk with Kyle. Romance blossomed from a one night stand.”

                “It happens,” Alex nodded and Michael understood he meant himself and Maria.

                Wanting to steer their thoughts away from those regretful few weeks all those months ago, Michael reached out to smooth a wrinkle in Alex’s shirt.

                “Isobel and Maria, I already told you. Iz sold the house and the two of them bought a small two bedroom near Max and Liz.”

                Alex kept his eyes glued to where Michael’s fingers were playing with his shirt. “So why are you all the way out here?”

                “I like the quiet,” Michael shrugged, lifting his hand to Alex’ collar again.

                He let his fingers brush through the bottom strands of Alex’s hair, the touch making the soldier take a ragged breath.

                “I’m really glad you’re here,” he whispered

                “It’s good to see you too,” Alex said breathlessly. “Guess we should thank the rental place at the airport in Albuquerque for loaning me a terrible car.”

                Michael chuckled and tipped his head back to finish his beer. Alex watched him swallow, his eyes caressing down the long line of Michael’s neck before looking away.

                “I don’t want to intrude on your life or anything but thank you for bringing me here.”

                Before Michael could reach out towards him again, Alex pushed himself to his feet.

                “Let me do the dishes.”

                Without waiting for a response, he grabbed their plates and wandered into the kitchen. Michael followed moments later, leaning against the counter to watch him.

                “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked after a few beats of silence.

                “Talk about what?” Alex said, switching the faucet off and grabbing the towel to dry.

                “What happened with your father.”

                Alex instantly froze at the mention, his posture going rigid. “Can we please not do that today?”

                Moving forward, Michael reached out for his arm and gently tugged him around. Taking the plate and towel, he lowered them onto the counter before pulling Alex against his chest again. When Alex felt the arms around him tighten, he let his eyes fall shut.

                “I didn’t mean to upset you,” Michael apologized, rubbing one hand up and down his back.

                “We _should_ talk about it but not tonight,” he whispered.

                They stood in each other’s arms for another minute before Alex slowly pulled away, their lips close enough to brush against each other if they leaned in. Sighing, Alex untangled himself and finished drying the plates.

                “Do you mind if I crash for the night? It’s been a long day.”

                Michael had a thousand words he desperately wanted to say on the tip of his tongue, but instead, he moved backwards and nodded.

                “Did you want the guest room upstairs?”

                _And be fifteen feet away from you while you slept?_ Alex asked himself before shaking his head. “Couch is fine.”

                “Alright, I’ll get you some bedding,” Michael offered, walking out of the room.

                Rubbing his hands over his tired eyes, Alex followed him and grabbed his overnight bag as Michael dropped a pillow and blanket on the couch.

                “I guess goodnight then,” Michael smiled, nervously scratching the back of his neck.

                “Are _you_ okay?” Alex asked, seeing his sudden change.

                Without replying, Michael closed the distance between them and pressed a quick kiss to Alex’s cheek. “It’s really good to see you, Private.”

                “Captain,” Alex corrected out of habit.

                Michael smirked in reply. “Good night.”

                He disappeared up the stairs before Alex could snap of his daze. Dropping his body on the couch, he closed his eyes and groaned, knowing sleep would be a distant memory. When he finally rose back to his feet and peeled his shirt off his body, the sound of footsteps made him turn towards the stairs. Michael had stopped before the bottom step, staring at Alex’s bare torso. They held a steady gaze until Michael’s eyes slowly narrowed. Closing the distance between them, he reached over to slide his fingers across the large scar running down the left side of Alex’s ribs, oblivious to the shudder that moved through the other man.

                “What is this?” he demanded.

                Alex finally looked down and realized what he’d seen. “It’s nothing.”

                “I’m intimately familiar with every part of your body,” Michael said and Alex blushed. “This scar wasn’t there before.”

                “Guerin, it was nothing. I’m fine,” Alex assured him. “I’m standing here with all previously attached limbs still in place.”

                When Michael stepped back with a hurt look on his face, Alex sighed.

                “It was a roadside bombing. Our Humvee got spun over and the metal frame cut through my vest,” he explained. “But I’m _fine_.”

                “You didn’t tell anyone that,” Michael started.

                “How would you know?” Alex frowned.

                “Just because you didn’t keep in touch with me doesn’t mean I didn’t ask Kyle how you were, if you were alive over there!”

                Alex took a breath at the confession as Michael deflated.

                “Do you really think I cared that little about you?”

                When Alex didn’t answer, Michael took a wounded step back.

                “No, I don’t think that,” Alex started, reaching out to grab his arm. “Guerin, we went through a lot. Together and separate. But we’re in a good place now, both of us. You have this amazing life you’ve built for yourself and I started a life in New York. Let’s not focus on what we should have done and just concentrate on what our lives are now.”

                “You almost dying _again_ matters to me!” Michael exclaimed. “Do you understand that? It doesn’t matter where you are or where I am. That will _always_ matter to me.”

                Alex took a deep breath and finally nodded. “Okay. I’m sorry.”

                When Michael’s gaze lowered to the scar again and his eyes glazed, Alex chuckled dryly to try and ease the tension.

                “Come on, it’s not my first scar. I won’t let it define me any more than the rest of them.”

                Michael shook his head, scoffing quietly. As Alex stepped forward and tightened the grip he still had on Michael’s arm, the other man suddenly pulled him into a tight embrace. It lasted only a few seconds before Michael tore himself away.

                “Get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

                He disappeared up the stairs before Alex could catch his breath.


	7. SEVEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From what we've heard about season 2, I'm not excited. The latest quotes comparing Alex & Malex to darkness and pain while Maria is the happiness and light for Michael are upsetting. If we have to listen to seven more months of this before the season even airs, I may tune out of social media. Even writing fanfic isn't enough some times. Love Malex but disappointed.

*****

 

                Making his way downstairs, Michael took quiet steps to avoid waking Alex. When he saw the couch was empty and the bedding had been neatly folded, he followed the smell of food and stopped just inside the kitchen. Alex was standing at the stove, finishing up the breakfast he was making with his back towards him. A warmth blossomed in Michael’s chest as he stood there and watched him, the domesticity of the moment making him smile.

                “I thought I woke early,” he said and Alex spun around, flushed with surprise.

                “Three in the morning military drills tend to make you an early riser. Besides, I don’t really sleep much anyway,” Alex shrugged and cleared his throat, ignoring the sudden pained expression in Michael’s eyes. “I hope you don’t mind me commandeering your kitchen like this.”

                “Not at all,” Michael smiled, moving closer and taking in the spread of food on the island.

                “I’m sorry about last night,” Alex started. “I feel like I should apologize.”

                “No, _I’m_ sorry,” Michael sighed. “New day?”

                “New day,” Alex smiled. “Do you still like your eggs over easy? Coffee with just cream?”

                Michael stared at him for several beats before the smile on his face softened. “You remember that?”

                Alex blushed and turned back towards the stove. “So I have to meet up with the lawyer in a little bit. If it’s not too much trouble, could you please give me a ride into town?”

                “It’s no trouble,” Michael replied, his voice barely above a whisper.

                Shutting the stove off, Alex placed the rest of the food on the counter and moved to sit on one of the bar stools.

                “So what’s the deal with the lawyer?” Michael asked, digging into his plate.

                “Emailed me while I was in New York. Something about the family house,” Alex shrugged. “We could have talked it through over the phone but my mom kind of guilted me into making the trip. We’ve talked a lot but I haven’t seen her since I left.”

                “Have you forgiven her?”

                “How could I not? What she did, she helped protect so many people. Her extended family and your people too. Innocents that were caught up in all that craziness. How could I hold that against her?”

                Michael reached out and covered Alex’s hand with his own, his touch gentle.

                “I’m sorry that you suffered because of it.”

                “It’s okay, Guerin,” Alex assured and Michael squeezed his hand before moving back. “Anyway, I called her earlier and she and my Grandfather want to meet after I see the lawyer.”

                Michael nodded, taking a large sip of his coffee.

                “I mentioned I stayed here last night and she asked if you wanted to join us too.”

                Looking up in surprise, Michael slowly shook his head. “It’s your time with your mom. I don’t want to intrude on that.”

                “I wouldn’t mind having the company. It’ll be my second time seeing them face to face. I mean, we’ve talked a lot over the past couple years but face to face is different.”

                “Okay,” Michael smiled brightly, his excitement giving Alex pause. “Thank you. I’d like to come.”

                By the time they were ready to go, Alex waited outside while Michael finished tidying the kitchen. Locking the door behind him, Michael made his way down the path but faltered in his steps when he took in the image of Alex, leaning against the side of the truck with his aviators back in place. Gulping hard, he forced his nerves to calm and smiled instead. They made small talk as they drove to town, Michael filling the silence with details of the renovation. When they pulled outside the law office at city center, Alex climbed out and gave him a smile in thanks.

                “Wait!”

                Grabbing a pen from his center console, Michael jogged towards the other side and grabbed Alex’s hand, scribbling a number on his palm.

                “That’s my cell. Call me when you’re ready.”

                Alex stared at him with wide eyes, his hand tingling as Michael gave him his signature smirk and climbed back into the truck, pulling away with a wave. Taking a deep, calming breath, he made his way into the small office and followed the receptionist to the end of the hallway.

                “Captain Manes, welcome home,” the middle aged lawyer greeted, reaching out to shake Alex’s hand. “I’m Tom, as you already know. Please, have a seat.”

                Grabbing a folder from his drawer, Tom flipped through the papers before looking up.

                “As you know, with your father now deceased, his will was taken into account. I apologize it took me so long to get in touch with you. I had thought you were still overseas.”

                “That’s fine but what does his will have to do with me?” Alex asked, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “He’s dead. I don’t really care about anything else.”

                “Well, the family house was left to you.”

                Alex sat in silence before scoffing. “Are you serious?”

                “Yes, he drew up his will about two years ago. Just before your last tour, I believe,” Tom replied. “He left the house solely in your name.”

                “Why would he do that?”

                “You’re his son,” Tom said as if the answer were obvious. “He left rather specific instructions that the shed be left to you.”

                “There it is,” Alex nodded. “ _That_ makes sense. The son of a bitch. Even from the grave.”

                Tom sat back in his seat, a frown covering his face. “I take it the relationship wasn’t cordial?”

                “That’s one way to put it,” Alex scoffed. “I don’t want the house or the shed, any of it.”

                “Alright, that’s your choice. We can sell it for you.”

                “Do that. You can donate all the money to whatever charity I choose.”

                “That’s very generous, Captain,” Tom chuckled. “But the house was paid off. There was no mortgage remaining. That’s a large sum of money you’d be left with.”

                “My father was an abusive, homophobic monster,” Alex exclaimed, his words making the other man shrink back. “He’s dead and I want nothing more to do with him.”          

                “I understand.”

                “Is there anything else?”

                “The possessions inside the house?”

                “Give them away to the local Church or Salvation Army,” Alex shrugged.

                “There’s nothing valuable inside the house you would like to take? Nothing of sentiment?”

                “I hated that house and I hated growing up there with him. Anything I wanted, I took when I enlisted after high school. Give it all away.”

                “Very well,” Tom agreed. “I’ll get started on the paperwork for selling the house and I’ll reach back out to you once I have a buyer in place. You’ll let me know which charities then?”

                Alex nodded and rose to his feet. “Thank you.”

                Turning to leave, he reached for the door when Tom’s voice stopped him.

                “Your father wrote a letter as well, Alex. Addressed to you.”

                Slowly turning around, he released a ragged breath. “When was it dated?”

                “Around the same time he completed his will.”

                “Throw it away.”

                “Son…”

                “I said throw it away!” Alex cut him off. “You don’t understand. My father was my nightmare. He wasn’t a good man when he was alive and now, leaving me the house, the _shed_ , the son of a bitch is still trying to hurt me. I know exactly what that letter will say and I refuse to read it. I refuse to let his abuse control or impact me anymore, especially now that he’s dead. So throw it away.”

                Tom released a deep breath and nodded. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I’ll destroy it.”

                Running a hand through his hair, Alex pulled the door open and rushed out of the office. Stepping out into the sunlight, he made his way towards the large fountain in the town square and dropped on one of the empty benches. Burying his face in his hands, he let the weight of the conversation hit him.

                Unsure of how much time had passed, he finally looked up when gentle fingers pried his hands away from his face. Michael was kneeling in the grass in front of him, watching him with a worried expression.

                “You didn’t call,” he started, taking in the tears in Alex’s eyes. “It’s been over two hours. Your mom called me, said she and your Grandfather were worried. She left you a couple messages.”

                All Alex could do was shake his head.

                “Hey,” Michael reached out to cup his cheeks. “What happened with the lawyer? Why are you so upset?”

                “He left me the house, Guerin. He left me the _shed_ ,” Alex said, his voice breaking at the end. “How twisted and cruel can one person be?”

                Michael quickly pulled him into his arms, enveloping him in a tight embrace.

                “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he whispered, running his hands up and down Alex’s back.

                “Even in death, I can’t escape him,” Alex muttered, pulling back and wiping his eyes. “We should go.”

                Michael rose to his feet and pulled Alex with him. “They’re at the coffee shop already. Come on.”

                “Hold on,” Alex frowned. “You said she called you? She has your number?”

                An expression Alex couldn’t understand filled Michael’s face before he blinked and smiled. “Let’s get some food in you. Maybe a couple beers.”

                Alex ignored the oddness and followed him across the street towards the cafe several yards away. When they stepped onto the patio and reached the private table at the end, Nascha jumped to her feet, her hand clasped over her mouth. Reaching out for him, she pulled Alex into her arms, pressing her cheek against his. Moving back, he looked past her shoulder and gave a small nod to his smiling Grandfather.

                “I’m so happy you’re home and safe,” she started, holding his hand as he sat opposite her with Michael at his side. “How are you?”

                “I’m doing okay, I guess,” he said. “You’re good too? All of you?”

                “We’re good too,” she smiled.

                “Why did you call Guerin? How do you have his number?”

                Nascha chuckled as she released his hand and sat back in her seat.

                “Michael and Max and Isobel have visited us several times while you were away,” she explained, her words drawing surprise to Alex’s face. “To meet with their people, mostly. But Michael checked in on us too. He helped a lot with these housing projects we had. He was amazing, Alex.”

                Turning slowly, Alex faced him in wonder. “Why would you do that?                                  
  
                “She’s your mother,” he shrugged.

                “Thank you,” Alex said in a breathless whisper.

                The smile on Michael’s face made Nascha’s own smile widen.

                “What happened with the lawyer?” she asked.

                “He left me the house and the _shed_ ,” Alex replied, shaking his head in disbelief. “The damn _shed_. I hated him so much. I hate him even more now.”

                “Do you want to talk about it?” she ventured quietly.

                “What is there to talk about? He left me the house.”

                “No, I mean about what happened.”

                Alex met her gaze, then turned to Michael who was watching him in silence.

                “He was alive. We found him. We found his second prison. He’s dead.”

                “Alex,” his mom reached for his hand again but he pulled away and looked down. “I think you should talk about what happened.”

                “Don’t bottle things up,” Michael added and Alex scoffed loudly.

                “Using my own words against me?”

                “You gave me that advice. I’m just giving you the same,” Michael said, slowly moving forward until he was close enough to place his hand on Alex’s back, rubbing gently.

                “Flint and I did a lot of recon over there on our free time which wasn’t much in between all the combat assignments and training exercises,” he explained. “Took a long while too. He learned to cover his tracks a lot better. But we got information from some locals and took out some rest and recuperation time to follow up. His newest Caulfield prison was in a network of caves along the northern border of Uzbekistan, in the Jowzan province.”

                Shaking his head, Alex ran a hand through his hair and laughed.

                “Our base Commander, Colonel Bennett, was the one who requested my presence and had my redeployment approved. I still don’t know what Dad had on him but after he was gone, the Colonel had this look on his face in the hospital. He couldn’t hide his relief,” Alex said, sighing heavily. “Anyway, we took Flint’s unit and head north to Jowzan. Damn mine fields were everywhere before we reached the caves. Brought back a lot of memories.”

                He glanced down at his leg and felt Michael squeeze his neck in comfort.  

                “We infiltrated under dark but those caves are so easy to get lost in if you don’t know where you’re going,” he continued. “We were six soldiers in total. Dad had a few dozen. They caught us fairly easily. But that’s the best part of it all. He knew we would follow him. He wanted me there for that reason. The Colonel approved my redeployment for that reason. He wanted to try and convince me, or brainwash me actually, into believing in his cause.”

                Nascha took a deep breath but stayed silent, giving him the space he needed to speak.

                “They had so many people locked up but it was mixed. They had your people,” he looked at Guerin, “but lots of locals too. Children of both kinds, women, elderly, all just locked away. Being tortured. Experimented on. It was worse than Caulfield. Their techniques over there were inhumane.”

                Breathing raggedly, Alex bit his lip to stop his tears from falling.

                “It’s okay. You can stop. You don’t have to do this,” Michael whispered.

                “What has internalizing ever gotten me?” Alex replied, wiping at his eyes. “I begged him to stop. So did Flint. He just had this look in his eyes, so frustrated that I couldn’t see what he did. They chained us up to one of the walls. One of the other Sergeants loyal to him, Sergeant Frank Miller, wanted us locked away in a cell but Dad wanted us to see. He wanted me to see the thing I had fallen in love with.”

                Michael’s eyes widened and he moved closer but Alex kept talking without notice.

                “He pulled a young girl, a teenager, out of one of the cages and he held her with a knife at her throat in front of us. Told her to show us what she really was. She was crying so hard, so scared,” Alex whispered, his own tears falling freely. “The moment she focused and the ground beneath us started to vibrate, he slit her throat. Just like that.”

                Looking down, Michael took a breath to compose himself before forcing Alex to meet his gaze.

                “That wasn’t your fault,” he said, putting as much strength as he could behind the words.

                Alex watched him for a long moment before turning towards his mother again. She had her hand clasped over her mouth as his Grandfather closed his eyes and turned away.

                “You think I’d be used to all the trauma by then but he was…monster doesn’t even describe him,” Alex exclaimed. “The only thing that worked for us in the end was a phone call that Flint had made before we left the base. He called Jamie.”

                Michael looked up at the unfamiliar name.

                “My second oldest son,” Nascha explained.

                “I hadn’t seen him in six years but the guy showed up with a damn army,” Alex chuckled. “When they infiltrated, it was all a blur. An explosion was set off and Dad disappeared. When Jamie’s troops got the ground, we started releasing everyone that was prisoner there. The cave was unstable because of the explosion but I wasn’t going to let him go. Flint was shouting at me but I grabbed my gun and ran after him. He was cowering behind these barrels when I found him and he tried sweet talking me as if that would actually work. I didn’t even see the kid until the gun went off.”

                “What kid?” Nascha asked.

                “The girl’s little brother,” Alex whispered. “He got four bullets off before I wrestled the gun away. I didn’t want to save Dad. I wanted him alive so he could go to prison. I wanted him alive to see his project failed.”

                Sighing, he pressed his fingers into the muscles of his bad leg.

                “We managed to get him to a local friendly hospital at the bordering province. Jamie took all the people to another holding area, left his men on guard and came to the hospital with me and Flint. The locals were let go after but the others, those were the ones Flint sent your way. The Colonel was helpful with that part,” Alex said as Nascha nodded. “The three of us at the hospital, we didn’t really say anything to each other, just sat there. When the Doctor came out and told us the internal bleeding was too much, Jamie just upped and left. Flint wanted to leave too. Told me he was glad Dad was dying before he went. I’m the only one that stayed.”

                “Son,” his Grandfather started but Alex shook his head.

                “No, I didn’t stay because I cared. I wanted to be there when he died to make sure he was gone.”

                Nascha gripped his free hand tightly in hers, watching him through tears as Michael pressed his forehead against Alex’s shoulder.

                “I had this whole speech prepared. I wanted to tell him how much I hated him for abusing me, for taking away the one person I ever truly loved in this world.”

                Michael squeezed his eyes shut as his tears began to fall.

                “How I hated him for forcing me into the military, into a life I never wanted. Yeah, I gained some confidence and a bigger backbone. But I lost a lot too, you know?” he said, moving his shoulder so Michael would lean back and meet his eyes. “Sometimes I reach down, thinking my leg is still there. Even on good days, I still feel the pain all the time.”

                Wiping his eyes, he stared at his hand between his mother’s for several long seconds.

                “I wanted to tell him how much I hated him because I did. I hated him more than anyone. I wanted to tell him that he didn’t break me. He tried so hard for so long, but he didn’t break me,” he said before sighing. “But I couldn’t tell him any of that. The words just wouldn’t come out. All I said was ‘Don’t worry, Dad. I’ll be with you until the end so I can make sure you’re really dead’.”

                “Alex…,” she started.

                “He got this look in his eyes, like those words cut through him more than any other speech I could have made. I sat down on the chair at the end of the room and just stared at him. When he went into cardiac arrest and the staff ran in, I just sat there, numb to everything,” he exclaimed, blinking through his wet eyes. “It wasn’t until the Doctor touched my arm that I finally snapped out of it. He was dead, gone, just like that. But you know what the funniest part of it all was? I left the room, went inside the bathroom, sat down in the corner and cried my eyes out. Why would I do that?”

                “He was still your father,” Nascha whispered.

                “I _hated_ him. He hurt me, he hurt the people I cared about, he hurt all these innocent people. I had no illusions about the man he was. So why would I cry over his death?”

                “He was _still_ your father,” Nascha repeated.

                Deflating at her words, he pulled his hand free of her grip and pressed his elbows over the table, burying his face against his palms. With his heart slowly breaking, Michael moved in even closer and wrapped an arm around Alex’s shoulders, pressing their foreheads together.

                “It’s over now,” he whispered. “You’re free of him, Alex. He can’t hurt you anymore. He can’t hurt anyone.”

                It took another few minutes until he pulled himself together, turning away from Michael to wipe his eyes.

                “I’m so sorry,” Nascha said when he met her gaze.

                “It doesn’t matter,” he shook his head. “But you’re good too?”

                “Yes, love,” she smiled kindly. “You’re home now. Of course I’m okay.”

                “I’m leaving soon,” he reminded.

                “You’re not staying?” his Grandfather asked.

                “No, I’m going back to New York,” he said, missing the hurt look in Michael’s eyes. “The pain outweighs the good for me here.”

                “But you can create new memories,” she offered, glancing quickly at Michael who kept his eyes on Alex.

                “Can’t forget the old ones, though,” he smiled sadly. “What do I have here? Some friends? They all have their own lives. For so long, Guerin was my sole link but that ended too.”

                Michael sat back at his words, looking away as Nascha glanced between them.

                “I have a life in New York. I have a job and a small apartment. It may not be fancy but it’s something.”

                “But can you be happy there?” she asked, the worry in her voice bleeding through.

                “When was I ever happy _here_?” Alex chuckled.

                “You and Michael had a strong connection,” she said but the look Michael gave her made Nascha bite her tongue.

                “Yeah, we did. I thought we were soulmates,” Alex chuckled, looking at Michael. “Silly teenage dreams.”

                Before Michael could protest, Alex shook his head and smiled. “Sorry for bringing the mood down. It was really good to see you both.”

                “When do you leave?” Nascha asked.

                “In two days,” he said as they rose to their feet. “Sorry, did you guys want something? We kind of just sat here.”

                “No, that’s alright,” she smiled before pulling him into her arms again. “I love you so much, Alex.”

                Taking a deep breath, he let his arms wrap around her thin frame. “I love you too.”

                When they stepped back, his Grandfather pressed a kiss against his temple. “Don’t stay away for too long.”

                “I won’t. I promise.”

                Sharing a final smile with his mother, he watched as they left before facing Michael.

                “I could use a drink.”

                Michael laughed despite the sadness inside him. “The others are throwing you a little welcome back party at the bar later tonight. Do you want to head home and relax for a bit?”

                “Yeah, let’s head home,” Alex smiled, not realizing what he had said.

                Michael’s smile widened without effort as they made their way towards his parked truck across the street. Alex kept his gaze focused out the window, a comfortable silence overtaking the space around them. Glancing over every few seconds, all Michael wanted was to reach out and comfort him, to pull him into his arms and kiss the pain he was carrying away. Instead, he let his hand reach across the bench and twined their fingers together. He heard the gasp Alex made but quickly felt him tighten the grip. Closing his eyes, Alex took strength through the simple touch that connected them. When they pulled in front of the house several minutes later, Alex hesitated, not wanting to let the hand go, before finally releasing him. They sat in the truck, staring at one another, neither sure of what to say.

               “Do you want to check the horses out?”

               The answering smile was enough to make Michael’s heart beat wildly in his chest.

               “Hey Paul,” Michael greeted, leading them inside the stables as the Caretaker looked up from his desk at the far end and waved. “This is my friend Alex.”

               “ _Alex_ ,” the man chuckled. “Nice to finally meet you. Michael here has gone on and on and on…”

               “Alright, thank you Old Man,” Michael cut him off as Alex chuckled.

               “All good things, I hope?”

               Clearing his throat, he moved towards the first of six stalls. “This one is Daisy. She’s an Appaloosa. Beautiful girl but a bit lazy.”

               Alex chuckled as he reached out to pet the horse’s neck.

               “This one’s Walter. I didn’t choose the name. The horses came with them,” Michael said when Alex smiled. “He’s a Thoroughbred. Doesn’t have the speed he once did but great for rides on the trail.”

               “Hi Walter,” Alex pet the horse and followed Michael to the third stall.

                “This one’s a Thoroughbred too. Her name is JoJo.”

                “Hi JoJo, how are you girl?” Alex whispered as the horse craned its neck for more attention. “She likes me.”

                “She likes everyone, even Max,” Michael said as both shared a laugh. “This one is Missy. She’s an Appaloosa too. Great spirit.”

                 Alex pet her for a few seconds and followed Michael again.

                 “Billy Ray is a Quarter Horse. Used to be in the rodeo circuit for a few years.”

                 “How did you manage to buy all these horses?” Alex asked, petting the animal gently.

                 “They came with the land. Sanders only ever had Paul taking care of the animals, never really invested in them.”

                 “So Paul came with the ranch too?” Alex chuckled.

                 “Can’t seem to get rid of him,” Michael nodded as the older man gave a finger salute from his desk. “Alright, now this one is my favorite. Come on.”

                  He led Alex to the final stall where a gorgeous black Thoroughbred neighed when they came close.

                  “His name is Indiana.”

                  “Hey Indy,” he started, reaching towards the animal with a gentle smile.

                  “Just be careful. He doesn’t take to strangers well,” Paul advised, moving to stand beside them. “Beautiful horse but the owners before Sanders neglected the poor thing. He’s a bit wild and distrustful of outsiders.”

                 “Did someone hurt you, boy?” Alex asked, his smile growing even softer. “It’s okay, Indy. I won’t hurt you.”

                 The horse neighed again but Alex took a step closer, leaning over the edge of the closed gate.

                “I’ve been hurt too, Indy. I know what it’s like to feel broken,” Alex said, oblivious to the others around him.

                Michael gave Paul a nod and the other man made himself scarce.

                “But you know what the secret is? Don’t ever let them see you broken,” Alex said, his hand reaching out towards the horse’s neck. “You can feel it inside you, feel like you won’t even make it through another day but you have to be resilient. You seem to have that spirit.”

                When he was close enough to touch, the horse jumped slightly but eased and let Alex lay a gentle hand against him.

                “He doesn’t take just to anyone,” Michael observed, leaning against the gate. “He was pretty hostile with Kyle and Max. Isobel I think he was scared of. The others were too scared of _him_.”

                “He’s not scary. He’s a sweetheart,” Alex smiled, letting his fingers scratch the animal’s neck.

                “Yeah, he is,” Michael whispered, slowly closing the distance and stopping just inside Alex’s space. “He’s not the only one.”

                Alex looked into his eyes and gasped at the closeness between them. He felt Michael’s arm wrap around his waist but couldn’t move away. Ever since laying eyes on the other man again, Alex had felt the want inside him grow with every passing second. Seeing the life Michael had built for himself surfaced all those long buried feelings he had for him. For two years, he had thought Michael and Maria had made things work between them. Talking to Kyle and Liz, he had asked to keep the news about the others quiet. As long as they were healthy and safe, he didn’t want the details. Knowing things had ended before he left changed everything.

                Just as Michael slowly leaned down to capture his lips, Indy made a sudden sound, forcing them to jump back in surprise. Michael chuckled at the rowdy horse but when he glanced back over at Alex, his smile disappeared.

                “What’s wrong?”

                “We can’t fall back into old patterns, Guerin.”

                “That’s not…”

                “Is it okay if I take a quick shower?” Alex cut him off. “I just want to wash the day off me before we head over to the bar. Do you mind?”

                Michael watched him for a few beats before shaking his head. “Up the stairs to the left. Should be a spare towel in the closet outside.”

                “Thank you,” Alex whispered and disappeared through the doors.

                Michael watched him go before leaning against the gate, staring at Indy in disappointment.

                “You couldn’t wait ten more seconds?” he asked the horse. “I was so close, Indy.”

                The horse simply stared at him before neighing again.

                “What do you know!” Michael grumbled, walking past a smirking Paul and making his way inside the house.

                He spent a few minutes gulping down a beer to calm his nerves. Once the sound of the shower switching off reached him, he slowly made his way up the stairs.

                “Hey, did you find…?”

                Suddenly freezing in his spot, he watched as Alex stepped out of the steaming bathroom, a white towel locked around his lean hips, his body wet from the shower as he ran a hand through his messy hair. Cursing under his breath, he took a small step forward before stopping at the wide eyed look in Alex’s eyes.

                “We cant do this,” Alex repeated, his voice cracking at the end.

                “Why can’t we?” Michael challenged, taking another step.

                Alex moved backwards until he hit the wall, giving Michael the chance he needed to box him in.

                “You can’t step out of the shower looking like that and expect me to behave,” Michael whispered, his voice low and intimate.

                “Guerin, I’m leaving in two days,” Alex argued.

                When he reached out with his hands, instead of pushing Michael away, his fingers curled against his shirt and pulled him in.

                “We shouldn’t,” he whispered, their lips inches apart.

                “We really, really should,” Michael corrected, letting his hands drop to where the towel was knotted.

                Looking into Alex’s eyes for permission, before either could react, a sudden knocking came from the door downstairs.

                “Whoever it is will go away,” Michael growled but Alex had already let his head drop against the wall.

                “I’ll go get dressed.”

                Ducking under Michael’s arm, he walked towards the guest bedroom and Michael caught a glance of his shiny, new prosthetic for the fist time. When the knock grew louder, he stormed downstairs and yanked the door open.

                “Hello to you too,” Isobel greeted. “Where’s the man of the hour?”

                “Getting dressed.”

                “Michael, you move quicker than I thought you would,” she chuckled.

                “Nothing’s happened between us, Isobel,” he growled. “Maybe something would have just now but you showed up and he went to get dressed.”

                “Sorry,” she smiled in apology as he sighed and leaned against the door frame. “How has it been? Seeing him again?”

                “You really need to ask me that?” he said, looking away as sadness filled him. “There’s so much I want to say to him. All I want to do is pull him against me, to kiss him but he’s not there. He thinks I moved on and he doesn’t want to start anything because his life is in New York.”

                Isobel crossed her arms at her chest as a thoughtful expression filled her face. “Leave that to me tonight.”

                “Isobel, I don’t want to push him. Maybe he just doesn’t want me anymore. He had a boyfriend for four months over there. Some idiot named Ben who keeps calling him.”

                “Is that jealousy I detect?”

                “What do you think?” he growled before glancing up the stairs. “I don’t want anyone else with him but _me_.”

                “I guess maybe now you know how he felt back then, before he left?” she asked and he sighed. “I love Maria. I wouldn’t trade her for anyone and I know she loves me too. But you guys did hurt him back then. Even if it lasted just a few days, even if you realized you made a mistake. He’s probably still carrying that in the back of his mind, Michael. Learning that you guys ended things before he left was big news but you can’t expect him to just fall back into bed with you.”

                “I know that and that’s not what I want. You know it isn’t.”

                Reaching out to touch his cheek, she smiled. “I know.”

                “So then what do I do? He’s leaving in two days.”

                “Leave that to me,” she winked.


	8. EIGHT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for the comments. You guys make me want to keep writing :) The song is Always by Gavin James. Suggested by @Annlester300 on twitter

*****

 

                “Did you ever finish the console?” Alex asked after several minutes of silence.

                Michael spared a glance in his direction before facing the road again. “Why do you ask?”

                “A part of me thought you’d be gone,” Alex confessed.

                “Like last time?” Michael said as they pulled up behind the first red light on the outskirts of town. “I didn’t leave then. I didn’t leave now.”

                “You’re going to be an uncle now,” Alex smiled as they faced one another.

                “That’s not the only reason I stayed.”

                “I know, Max and Isobel,” Alex nodded. “I’m glad they’re both happy. I wanted that for you too. I still do.”

                Before Michael could answer, a loud honk snapped his focus back to the road.

                “Does your house have a bunker? Where did you put everything?”

                “We built a hidden room in the basement. You can only access it through the backyard. I have everything there.”

                “Why didn’t you finish the console then? You wanted to leave, find your place in the world.”

                “Maybe I found it already. My place,” Michael said, pulling to a stop on the side of the road outside a bakery. “Maybe I knew where it was all along.”

                He held Alex’s confused eyes for several beats before motioning the bakery.

                “Max texted. Said Liz is craving pickle flavored muffins,” he said and chuckled at the face Alex made. “This is the only place that sells the weirdest deserts. I’ll be right back.”

                Alex watched him go before tilting his head back against his seat, staring out his lowered window. He watched people walking by before his eyes caught a young boy rushing out of a building several feet away, shaking as he lowered himself on the front steps. Lifting his gaze, Alex read the sign for Roswell Orphanage and sighed as the boy lowered his face, tightening his jacket around his body. Climbing out of the car, Alex hesitated for a moment before something inside him forced him to make his way over.

                “Hey,” he greeted, the single word drawing the boy’s hardened gaze up in his direction.

                “What do you want?” he snapped, his posture tense.

                “Do you live here?” Alex asked, ignoring the tone and slowly lowering himself on the step next to him.

                “Do you think I’m hanging out here just for fun?”

                Alex chuckled at the hostility before reaching his hand out. “I’m Alex.”

                The boy stared at the hand and then back at Alex, his eyes wide in confusion.

                “Dude, what do you want? I don’t want to buy any candy.”

                “That’s good,” Alex smiled. “I’m a Captain in the Air Force. Recently retired.”

                “You’re a soldier?” the boy asked skeptically. “Where were you stationed?”

                “In the Middle East. First Iraq and then Afghanistan.”

                “Did you fight in war?” the boy asked, his interest piqued.

                “Yeah, I did,” he nodded.

                “Now you’re back here? In this crap town? Why?”

                Alex smiled at his words. “I’m here for a few days to see some family and friends.”

                “At least you have a family,” the boy said and looked away.

                “Well, even though we recently reconnected, my mom left when I was seven and my father was never a good man. He’s passed now.”

                The boy looked back at him, a newfound respect in his eyes. “I’m Tommy.”

                Alex shook the extended hand, his smile widening. “How is it in there?”

                “You mean with the Sisters of Perpetual Sorrow?” Tommy scoffed. “They suck.”

                “How many other kids?”

                “Nineteen,” Tommy replied, looking down. “We each get a cot in the corner of one large room. But at least we have beds, right?”

                “How do they treat you?” Alex asked, his voice growing quiet.

                “You mean, do they hit us?” Tommy shrugged. “Sometimes, if we talk back or whatever.”

                When he saw the look in Alex’s eyes, he squared his shoulders.

                “Not like we have any place better to go. Do you see my parents here to take me home?”

                Alex shook his head and Tommy scoffed again just as the doors behind them swung open and one of the Sisters rushed out.

                “Inside, Tommy, now!”

                She barely glanced at Alex before making her way back inside. Rolling his eyes, Tommy pushed himself to his feet and grabbed the door.

                “Wait!” Alex called out.

                Reaching into the breast pocket of his jacket, Alex pulled out a silver bullet with a large key ring running through the end.

                “This was a good luck charm I carried with me overseas. It was given to me by one of my Superior Officers during my second year. He was a good friend.”

                “Why are you giving it to me?” Tommy asked him.

                “Maybe it can bring you good luck too.”

                The young boy stared down at the bullet before reaching out and grasping it in his hand.

                “Thanks,” he said, a genuine smile filling his face.

                He gave Alex a small wave before rushing through the doors. Glancing up the structure once more, Alex turned and made his way back to the truck where Michael was watching him, a soft look in his eyes.

                “You’ll make a really good dad.”

                “I wouldn’t know the first thing about being a parent. Still trying to figure out my own mess of a life,” Alex chuckled to hide his flush.

                Reaching out, Michael clasped their hands together, the gentle touch making Alex look up in surprise. “You’ll make a really good dad.”

                “You’re probably the only one that really understands how much that means to me,” he said, releasing a shaky breath. “You’d make a good dad too.”

                “I don’t know about that,” Michael said, leaning back against the truck but not letting the connection between their hands go.

                “All you need to do is find a nice alien and you’re all set,” Alex chuckled.

                “Or a human,” Michael shrugged, his words making Alex stumble back a step, breaking the grip between their hands.

                “A human works too,” he smiled sheepishly.

                “I’m fond of adoption,” Michael added, looking up from under his lashes.

                “Adoption’s a good choice,” Alex smiled. “Or if you settled down with the right girl, you could have kids of your own.”

                Michael watched him for a long moment before replying. “I think I prefer adoption. Lots of kids out there like you and me.”

                Alex swallowed hard before opening his door to climb back inside. “Come on. We don’t want to be late.”

                Sighing heavily, Michael shook his head and sat behind the wheel. When they pulled up at the Wild Pony minutes later, the lot was all but deserted. Walking side by side, Alex gave him a small smile before yanking the door open and ducking inside. He had a moment to glance around himself, taking in the bits of changed décor when a pair of strong arms wrapped around him.

                “Man, I missed you!” Kyle exclaimed, lifting him off the ground.

                “I missed you too,” he chuckled.

                “You can’t go away for two years again, Manes. That’s too damn long. I’ve been going crazy here with just Guerin and Evans.”

                Alex gave him a fond smile that switched to Jenna who walked over with a smirk.

                “Always wondered who would finally make this guy settle down. I’m glad it’s you.”

                Her own smile grew as she leaned in to kiss his cheek. “I heard about what happened overseas. I’m sorry.”

                “Don’t be,” he shook his head and glanced over at Michael who was standing to the side, waiting. “It was a long time coming.”

                She touched his arm before stepping away as Kyle pulled him back into another hug.

                “I’m sorry you had to go through all that alone,” he said, moving to catch his eyes. “I would have come, you know.”

                “I know,” Alex nodded, patting Kyle on his cheek. “I _know_.”

                They shared a small smile before Kyle secretly motioned Michael still standing a few feet away. “How’s that going?”

                “ _Fine_ ,” Alex scowled as Kyle chuckled. “You’re still on my shit list for that, by the way.”

                “Wasn’t it a nice surprise?”

                The glare Alex gave him made Kyle toss his head back with a hearty laugh. Shaking his head, Alex walked past him towards Michael who smiled and tipped his head towards the back of the room. Max was standing with a pregnant Liz as Isobel grinned from the counter next to a quiet Maria. Smiling at the familiar faces, he walked towards Liz who held her arms open, tears already streaming down her cheeks.

                “Hi honey,” he greeted when she bent her upper body forward into his arms.

                Sobbing loudly, she held onto him for a full minute before moving back, wiping at her eyes in apology.

                “These damn hormones,” she mumbled.

                “Hey Alex, welcome home,” Max smiled as he reached out to shake his hand.

                “I’m so enormous,” Liz shook her head. “You can tell me. I know I look like a whale. Max called me a whale.”

                “Babe, I never called you that!” Max exclaimed.

                “Yes, you did!” she snapped as Alex watched them bicker. “You told Michael I looked bigger than a whale!”

                “Do I want to die? Or live on the couch the rest of my life?” Max asked and turned towards a grinning Michael. “Back me up.”

                “Liz, he didn’t call you a whale,” Michael said, moving behind Alex and throwing a casual arm over his shoulders. “He may have called you a walrus.”

                “What!” she screeched.

                Alex turned into him to hide his laugh, allowing Michael to slide his arm down around his waist. They leaned back to catch each other’s eyes and their smiles softened when they realized the closeness between them. Liz suddenly grabbed Alex’s hand, breaking their trance as she pulled him over and pressed his hand against her belly. When he felt the baby kick, he looked down at her with bright eyes.

                “You look beautiful.”

                She melted at the words before elbowing Max in his side.

                “Beautiful, Max! Not a walrus!”

                “Baby, for the last time I never called you a walrus,” Max pleaded.

                Liz huffed angrily before moving towards one of the chairs, Max hurrying behind her. Turning away, his eyes caught Maria’s behind the bar and he took a breath before slowly approaching.

                “Welcome home,” Isobel greeted him first.

                “Not really home but thank you,” he said and faced Maria. “Hi.”

                Isobel touched her hand before moving towards the others, giving them a moment alone. Her resolve finally broke and the tears she had been holding started to slip past her eyes.

                “Maria,” he said, moving around the bar towards her.

                When his arms wrapped around her body, she closed her eyes and sobbed quietly against him.

                “Stop crying,” he soothed her, running a hand up and down her back in comfort. “Come on, everything’s okay.”

                She pulled back and shook her head. “I haven’t spoken to you in almost two years. That’s not okay.”        

                “Maria,” he started but she cut him off.

                “You left for war _again_ and I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye. I didn’t even get a chance to apologize.”

                “I didn’t stay in contact because I thought I was giving you and Guerin a chance to be happy without me being there to drag it down,” he exclaimed. “You ending up with Isobel is a different story entirely.”

                She laughed and reached for a tissue to wipe her face.

                “Alex, please let me get this out without interrupting me, okay?” she asked and he gave a small nod. “I am so sorry for what happened before you left.”

                He opened his mouth but she gave him a look and he sighed, his shoulders dropping.

                “I hurt you. I know I did,” she said. “I knew how you felt about Michael and I let myself believe that it was okay when it wasn’t. His heart belonged to you as much as yours belonged to him. I am so sorry.”

                “Look, that was all in the past and I’d like to keep it there,” he said as she nodded. “Besides, we’ve all moved on from that. You and Isobel? That’s unexpected but good?”

                “Very good,” she smiled. “I love her.”

                His smile slowly grew at her words. “I’m happy for you. I really am. I thought it would be with…”

                Sighing through his smile, he shook his head.

                “Guerin has a good life for himself. He has a good business. The house is really beautiful. It’s amazing to see.”

                She frowned slightly at his words before Liz called them from the booth.

                “I don’t ever want to go without talking to you for that long. Not ever again,” she said. “I love you and I’m sorry.”

                “Me either,” he smiled, pulling her into a side hug. “I love you too.”

                She kissed his cheek as they made their way back towards the others. Alex slid into the booth opposite Liz and Max as Michael took the seat beside him.

                “How’s Rosa doing?”

                “Really good,” Liz smiled at the thought of her sister. “She’s settled in really well at UNM. Mind you, she’s Rosita now but she’s good.”

                He smiled in reply as Liz and Max exchanged glances.

               “So,” she started. “There’s something Max and I would like to talk to you about.”

                Alex glanced between the two and sat up. “Anything.”

                “We’re having a boy,” Liz said, her words making Alex smile brightly as he turned to Michael.  

                “You going to teach him how to be a heartbreaker, Uncle?”

                Michael’s smile softened as he draped his arm across the top of the booth, his fingers pressing into Alex’s collar. The stared at one another for a few beats too long before Alex switched his attention back to Liz.

                “We decided on a name,” she said, sharing a smile with Max. “We chose to name him after his uncle, who has been amazing this past year.”

                Michael smiled shyly as Alex nodded. “It’s a good name.”

                They held eyes again for a long moment until Max cleared his throat. Liz took a moment to watch Alex, her gaze making him chuckle.

                “What is it?”

                “We’re naming him Michael Alexander Evans,” she finally said.

                He sat back at the revelation, his eyes widening in surprise. “After both of us?”

                “Like Liz said, we chose Michael because of what a great uncle our son already has,” Max said, his gaze growing serious. “We chose Alex after the man who saved his father’s life.”

                “That wasn’t just me. I mean, Anya was one of your kind. She had the power to bring you back.”

                “Alex,” Liz cut him off, reaching across the table to take his hand. “You were the one who figured it out. You were the one who reached out to your mom despite all the distance and friction that was between you.”

                “Okay, but…”

                “You were the one who let her touch your soul,” Liz whispered, tears pooling in her eyes. “You left and I didn’t even get a chance to say thank you. Max wouldn’t be here without you.”

                He looked over to Max who was smiling through his own glistened eyes, arm protectively wrapped around Liz, before turning back to his friend.

                “We would also like to ask if you’ll be our son’s Godfather,” Liz added. “We’ve already asked Maria and she said yes.”

                A stunned laugh escaped his throat. “Of course I’ll accept. Thank you.”

                Liz reached around the table and pulled him into a tight hug as Michael and Max smiled at one another above their heads.

                “You really know how to stun a guy,” Alex said as the others chuckled.

                “Well,” Isobel started, sliding one hand over Maria’s across her waist. “Now that the crying and mushiness is over with, how about we play a game?”

                “No games,” Kyle whined. “I _always_ lose because you _always_ cheat.”

                “Not that sort of game Valenti,” Isobel rolled her eyes. “Babe, let’s get some drinks.”

                Drawing Maria back towards the bar, they started filling a tray as Alex turned in his seat towards Michael.

                “Michael Alexander,” he said, unable to keep the smile off his face.

                “Yeah, what do you think?” Michael asked, biting his lower lip as he moved a few inches closer, his hand gently rapping against Alex’s shoulder.

                “Big name to love up to.”

                “Big names, plural,” Michael corrected. “His uncle may be a sexy, intelligent cowboy…”

                Alex’s smile widened at Michael’s description of himself before the other man leaned in even closer.

                “But his Godfather is absolutely beautiful.”

                His breath caught in his throat as he lifted his gaze to Michael’s eyes and then slowly dragged them down to his lips. Blinking through his daze, he turned forward again as Maria and Isobel slid beers around the group and a water to Liz.

                “I thought it would be fun to get a read on everyone’s emotions,” Isobel started. “I can enter minds as you already know but getting a sense of what you’re feeling will be really fun. As long as you consent and all that.”

                “How is that fun?” Kyle asked, sitting back on his bar stool as Jenna wrapped her arms around his neck from behind.

                “It’s fun because I said so,” Isobel glared.

                Alex chuckled as he took a sip of his beer. “Come on, Kyle. What’s the worse that can happen? She’ll sense you’re horny?”

                The table laughed at Kyle’s expense as Isobel turned towards her first subject. Narrowing her gaze, she stared at Max for a long moment before smiling.

                “Love for his fiancée and his son.”

                Max smiled down at Liz as she squeezed his waist from the side.

                “Liz,” Isobel started and scoffed. “Cake.”

                “Cake?” Max frowned. “That’s where her emotions are?”

                “Oh, there’s lots of love for Rosa and you and Michael Alexander Jr.,” Isobel exclaimed. “But it’s overshadowed right now by her love and need for cake.”

                Liz smiled up at him sheepishly as he dropped a kiss over her head.

                “Michael Alexander Jr?” Alex asked as a slight frown settled on his face. “Not going to call him that, are we?”

                “Mikey,” Liz corrected. “I tried calling Michael that a few times but he threatened me with bodily harm. I love it for the baby.”

                “Yes, that’s all fascinating. Let’s move on,” Isobel cut them off as she turned to Kyle, taking a moment to read his emotions. “Love for your friend that you haven’t seen in almost two years.”

                Kyle and Alex shared a smile as Isobel chuckled.

                “Wow, you really are horny,” she said as Kyle blushed. “In fact, so’s your girlfriend. Match made in Heaven.”

                Jenna smirked as she twisted Kyle’s face to press a hard kiss to his lips.

                “Okay babe, you’re up,” Isobel said as she pulled Maria to her side, narrowing her gaze. “Love and forgiveness.”

                Maria glanced over at Alex and the soft look in his eyes made her smile widen.

                “Mikey Senior, you’re next,” Isobel said as Michael sighed.

                “That’s still not a thing,” he grumbled.

                Isobel focused her mind, watching him for several moments until a broad smile covered her face. “Overwhelming love.”

                Michael looked over at Alex who was watching Isobel, oblivious to his gaze. “Yeah, I get that.”

                She bit her lip and turned towards Alex, taking a long moment to read him. A sudden rush of pain shot through her, forcing her to sit back with a gasp.

                “You feel that all the time?” Isobel asked, making Alex grab his beer and look away.

                The table remained quiet for several seconds, no one sure of what to say.

                “How about we dance for a bit?” Maria suggested, cutting through the tension as she rounded the booth to pull Alex with her. “Kyle, Jenna, come on.”

                Michael watched them go before turning to Isobel. “What was that?”

                “Nothing,” she said and sighed at the hard look in his eyes. “There was lots of love but the pain and fear was stronger. It’s in the forefront of his mind. His emotions are all mixed with it.”

                Michael turned his gaze to Alex on the dance floor, watching him laugh as Kyle twirled him to the side. Rising to his feet, he made his way towards the group and grabbed hold of Alex at his waist, steadying him.

                “How about something slow?” he asked and Maria gave a knowing smile, moving to her jukebox.

                “What are you doing?” Alex asked, suddenly breathless.

                “Dance with me,” Michael replied, his grip growing tight.

                Swallowing hard, Alex lifted his arms to wrap around Michael’s shoulders, pressing in close as the music started.

_**What am I supposed to do without you?** _  
_**Is it too late to pick the pieces up?** _  
_**Too soon to let them go?** _  
_**Do you feel damaged just like I do?** _  
_**Your face, it makes my body ache** _  
_**It won't leave me alone** _

                They moved around the small space as their chests pressed together, a single heart beating between them.

_**And this feels like drowning**_  
**_Trouble sleeping_ **  
**_Restless dreaming_ **

                         
                Michael’s arms wrapped tighter around him, bringing their waists closer together as Alex released a small gasp.

   
**_You're in my head_**  
**_Always, always_**  
**_I just got scared_**  
**_Away, away_**  
**_I'd rather choke on my bad decisions_**  
**_Then just carry them to my grave_**  
**_You're in my head_**  
**_Always, always, always  
_**

                Lowering his face to Alex’s neck, Michael slowly breathed him in, the move sending a shiver down Alex’s spine.

                “You always smelled so good,” he whispered.  
  


_**Cracks won't fix and the scars won't fade away**_  
**_I guess I should get used to this_ **  
**_The left side of my bed's an empty space_ **  
**_I remember we were strangers_ **  
**_So tell me what's the difference_ **  
**_Between then and now  
_ **

                When Michael pressed his lips against Alex’s throat, the touch was feather light but enough to make Alex ease one hand into his curls.

_**And why does this feel like drowning?**_  
_**Trouble sleeping** _  
_**Restless dreaming  
** _

                Michael ran his hands down and slipped them under Alex’s clothes until they found his warm skin. Biting his lip, Alex pressed the side of his face against Michael’s, sighing softly as they moved, oblivious to their friends around them.

_**You're in my head**_  
**_Always, always_ **  
**_I just got scared_ **  
**_Away, away_ **  
**_I'd rather choke on my bad decisions_ **  
**_Then just carry them to my grave_ **  
**_You're in my head_ **  
**_Always, always, always_ **  
**_Always, always  
_ **

                When Michael dragged his nails down, the touch left a tingling sensation against Alex's skin, making him move even closer.

_**You're in my head**_  
**_Always, always_ **  
**_I just got scared_ **  
**_Away, away_ **  
**_I know there's nothing left to cling to_ **  
**_But I'm still calling out your name_ **  
**_You're in my head_ **  
**_Always, always, always  
_ **

                As the song came to an end, they leaned back and stared at one another, their mouths hung slightly open. Giving his strongest bedroom eyes, Michael started leaning in when the door behind them opened.

                “Alex?”

                Snapping out of his daze, Alex pulled away and glanced towards the doorway.

                “Ben?” he frowned, untangling himself from Michael’s arms to approach the other man. “What are you doing here?”

                Ben looked up to see sudden awareness fill Michael’s eyes.

                “I came here to find you. To talk to you.”

                “Ben,” Alex said, shaking his head. “I really wish you hadn’t come all the way out here.”

                “Can we talk?” the other man asked, stepping closer. “Not here. Outside. Somewhere private.”

                Sighing heavily, Alex turned and walked back towards the others.

                “Sorry, I have to go,” he started. “Thank you for tonight. I’ll come by and say goodbye to everyone before I leave.”

                Taking one last glance at Michael, Alex made his way to Ben and led him out of the bar. Moving towards the bench, Michael fell onto the seat with a dejected sigh. Liz reached from behind and rubbed his shoulder in comfort as Isobel moved to stand before him, arms crossed at her chest.

                “Who was _that_ thorn?” Kyle asked, taking a sip of his beer.

                “His boyfriend from New York. Or ex-boyfriend,” Michael shrugged. “He said he called it quits a month ago.”

                “So it ended before he knew he was coming here?” Isobel asked.

                “Yeah, I guess so. Why?” Michael frowned.

                “We can work with this,” Isobel smiled. “It means there wasn’t much to the relationship to begin with.”

                “The guy just flew all the way out here for Alex,” Michael pointed out.

                “So?” Isobel chuckled. “Alex already broke up with him. Do you think he left to hook up with the guy just now?”

                “I don’t know!” Michael exclaimed, his frustration winning out. “I don’t know because he keeps telling me we’ve both moved on and he obviously did over there.”

                “Michael,” she started, sighing heavily. “When I read his emotions earlier, it was crushing. Both of you had so much to work through, so much suffering. All of us, really, and we all did. We’ve made peace with everything that’s happened. We’ve found love. We’ve found happiness. You’ve built a life for yourself, Michael. You’re healthy. You’re successful. All you’re missing is your soulmate right now.”

                “What are you getting at, Isobel?” he asked.

                “I’m saying he’s not there yet,” she replied. “His emotions were full of pain, like a dull ache that’s always there in the forefront of his mind only it wasn’t very dull. He left here, went back to war, thinking he had lost you for good. Seeing all of this right now, the life you’ve built? Michael, just one look in his eyes and you can tell how much he wants it. I think he’s just afraid to ask for it.”

                Michael took a deep breath and nodded. “So, what do I do? He literally just left with his ex.”

                “Go home right now,” Isobel assured him. “Trust that he will come back after he has a talk with the guy and tells him off for being a stalker.”

                “Want me to arrest him?” Jenna asked.

                Michael chuckled and shook his head.

                “Michael, it may have taken you a long time to accept it but you have all of us,” Liz said as he looked up to her smiling face before glancing through the others. “He’s practically been alone all this time. I think he just needs to remember that he’s a part of this family too.”

                Rubbing his tired eyes, he slowly rose to his feet. “So I just go home?”

                “Go home,” Maria added, smiling gently. “I got a read on him when the ex walked in. Very different vibe from when you were dancing. He’ll come back.”

                “Well, if all of you are telling me, I guess I should believe it, right?” he chuckled but the sadness in his eyes was visible. “If he leaves…”

                “Michael, he won’t leave,” Isobel started but he cut her off.

                “If he leaves, I don’t think I’ll be able to handle it this time,” he said. “It’s been almost thirteen years. I just want to be with him, you know?”

                “He’s almost there. That pain I felt, it was wrapped around an incredibly strong love. We’ll help get him over the edge,” Isobel smiled.

                He looked at her before a laugh escaped him. “Maria has seriously mellowed you out, you know?”

                “Love does that,” she said as Maria wrapped her arms around her from behind. “Yours will too. Just trust it.”

                “Trust it,” Michael repeated and took a deep breath. “Just trust it.”


	9. NINE

*****

 

                Climbing out of the car Ben had rented from the airport, Alex led them across the street towards the gazebo in the center of town. Leaning back on the bench, he took a moment to glance through the quiet streets around them, smiling at the vast difference from the bustling life in New York. Turning his gaze to Ben, he watched his ex fidget with his hands before taking pity.

                “Why did you come here?” he finally asked.

                Looking up, Ben gave Alex a wide smile, grateful that the silence had died. “I missed you.”

                “Ben,” Alex started but the other man looked away.

                “I know the history you have with this town, these people.”

                “I didn’t tell you all that much,” Alex corrected.

                “You told me enough,” Ben sighed, meeting his gaze again. “Whenever you would talk about your friends, you’d get this look in your eyes, like you missed them all the time. But the few times you spoke about your ex, Guerin, this heavy sadness would just wash over you. Was that him in there? The one you were dancing with?”

                “Yes,” Alex nodded. “But none of that matter, Ben. You and I are over. We’ve been over for a month so why are you here?”

                “I don’t want to lose you,” he said, laughing at himself. “You have a good life in New York, Alex. We could be happy together. I want to take care of you.”

                “We never would have worked out,” Alex shook his head.

                “Why? We were happy together for those few months. Why can’t we be happy together again?”

                Alex bit his lower lip, unsure how honest he wanted to be. In the end, the truth he felt in his heart won out.

                “You’re not _him_ ,” he said simply as Ben’s entire body deflated. “I know I have a good life in New York and I didn’t come here to fall back into old patterns with Guerin. He’s built something amazing here for himself and I have my life in New York. He and I never worked and I don’t want to ruin what either of us have gained by going back there with him. He deserves better than that constant loop of heartache and disappointment. So do I.”

                Ben nodded and before the smile could appear on his face, Alex held his hand up to stop him.

                “But you and I are _over_ , Ben. I need you to accept that,” he said, keeping his voice as firm as possible. “Just because Guerin and I aren’t together, doesn’t mean those feelings have gone away, at least for me anyway. That’s not fair to you.”

                “Do you think you could ever learn to love me?” Ben whispered.

                Alex smiled sadly but shook his head. “Not the way I love _him_. That’s once in a lifetime.”

                Sighing heavily, Ben nodded in defeat. “I still care about you, Alex. If what you feel for him is once in a lifetime, and believe me, this hurts to say, but why won’t you let yourself be happy with him then?”

                “You can love someone with your whole heart but sometimes there’s too much damage. It just kills me a bit more each time we implode and I don’t want to ruin what he’s built for himself here,” he shrugged.

                “Alex,” Ben started but sighed when the other man stubbornly shook his head. “Are you coming back to New York?

                “Yeah, my flight’s in a couple days. Had to beg my boss to give me these days off,” Alex chuckled as they rose to their feet. “I’m sorry you came all the way out here.”

                “Would have always wondered what if,” Ben shrugged. “Take care of yourself, I guess.”

                “You too,” Alex smiled.

                Ben lingered for another few seconds before moving towards his car, turning back at the last second. “Need a ride?”

                “It’s okay. The bar’s just a few minutes from here. It’s a nice night. I’ll walk.”

                Ben gave a small smile before climbing in his car and driving away. Once the dust had settled and the car was gone, Alex slowly made his way down the steps and started heading back towards the Wild Pony. Stuffing his hands into his jean pockets, he glanced up at the starry night sky, allowing the vastness above to give him comfort. Grateful when he saw the lights were still lit, he veered to the left and made his way towards the door. Isobel was the first face that greeted him when he walked through, watching him with a thoughtful look as he approached the counter.

                “I guess everyone else went home?” he asked.

                She hesitated before nodding. “Maria’s finishing up some inventory in her office. We’ll give you a ride back to Michael’s when she’s done. Shouldn’t be too long.”

                He agreed with a gentle nod and sat on the barstool beside her.

                “Need a drink?” she asked, reaching for the bottle of whisky and sliding him a half filled glass before he could argue.

                “Thanks,” he smiled and took a long sip.

                “You and I were never really close,” she started, taking a sip of her own. “We ran in the same circles in high school but we never really got to know each other all that well.”

                “Me leaving for ten years didn’t help,” Alex shrugged. “Besides, Guerin and I were never in the ‘meet the family’ stage.”

                She nodded again, leaning sideways against the bar. “How’s New York?”

                A genuine smile covered his face. “Diverse and crowded. I don’t really sleep too much and it’s the city that never does so the noise and liveliness helps.”

                She took a moment to consider his words before replying. “You’d never want to move back here?”

                “Never is too finite of a word but right now, going back to New York makes sense.”

                “What about Michael?” she asked, her bluntness making Alex give her his full attention. “What do you think of his house? Pretty nice, right?”

                “It’s amazing. I’m really proud of him. He deserves happiness.”

                “Yes, he does,” she agreed, her smile softening. “When he was laying out the plans, he mentioned that he wanted a porch that was big and wide and wrapped around the front of the house. I asked him, why so big? Why so specific?”

                He raised his brow, watching her expectantly.

                “That’s how Alex would want it,” she said and the answer made him sit back with a frown.

                “Me? I don’t understand.”

                “You and Liz and Maria were having a conversation, talking about the types of homes you wanted to have in the future,” she explained. “Liz wanted a big house in the middle of town, close to her dad, with a wide backyard where all her little future kids could learn how to ride their bikes and play and be happy all around. Sweetness gave me a cavity.”

                “I don’t remember this conversation,” he said, his frown intensifying but she easily spoke over him.

                “Maria wanted a stylish condo, one with a gym and a big swimming pool and jacuzzi,” Isobel smirked before tilting her head. “You just wanted a nice house, nothing big or fancy, but one with a big porch that wrapped around the front where you and your husband could sit and play your guitars while your kids played in the front.”

                Alex blinked at her words before swallowing. “The three of us hung out maybe twice when Liz and I came back to Roswell three years ago. I don’t remember having this discussion.”

                “I’m talking about senior year of high school,” she said and watched as the wheels in his mind took him back. “You were sitting on the bleachers, talking. It was a couple days after prom and Liz had ended things with Kyle so she needed some friendly bonding time, I guess. You guys started talking about all this sentimental nonsense.”

                “How the hell do _you_ know this?” he asked.

                “Michael was sitting a few rows behind you guys,” she said and smiled when his eyes slowly widened. “He heard what you said.”

                “That was thirteen years ago,” Alex chuckled in disbelief. “He remembered that?”

                “With you? He remembers everything.”

                Alex swallowed hard as his heart began pounding beneath his ribs. He ran a nervous hand through his hair and Isobel took pity, losing her smirk as she leaned in.

                “You’ve been through a lot in your life,” she started as he met her eyes. “I saw flashes of that earlier when I was reading your emotions. The pain that you carry? The guilt? It overwhelmed me and I only felt it for a few seconds.”

                Alex looked away but she could see the effect her words had on him.

                “When I found out what Noah had done, who he really was, I felt violated in I don’t even know how many ways. I hated him and loved him at the same time,” she said, drawing his gaze back to her. “It took me a long time to make peace with what happened. To stop blaming myself for everything he did while possessing me. For killing all those people. For killing _Rosa_.”

                She sighed and grabbed her glass, finishing her drink.

                “But my family helped. Having Max back helped so much,” she said, reaching out to touch his hand. “I never got a chance to thank you for that.”

                Instead of declining the gratitude like always, Alex gave a small smile instead.

                “Finding love with Maria helped,” she added, her smile growing gentle. “Michael went through a lot too. With what happened at Caulfield? Everything that happened between the two of you? But he had us and he let us in, let us help him.”

                She looked down for a moment before speaking.

                “I read the letter you wrote him,” she said and he took a sharp breath. “What you said to him, you have no idea what that meant. How much it helped.”

                “I’m glad he was able to make peace,” he nodded, blinking through the various emotions that were going through him.

                “Alex,” she said and he lifted his gaze. “I know we don’t know each other that well. I know you may not like or accept anything I have to say. But take it from someone who understands, to a degree, what you’ve been through. You can’t carry that with you all the time.”

                Staring down at his half empty glass, Alex lifted it to his lips and finished the liquid inside.

                “Not that easy,” he finally said. “I can’t just switch things off, you know? It’s always with me. The crap from my teens, with my dad, war and everything in between. I know I have PTSD. I work on the triggers but therapy’s not my thing. I’m better dealing with it on my own.”

                “But you don’t have to be alone,” she said, staring at the side of his face. “You _have_ Michael.”

                Shaking his head, Alex made to push himself away from the counter but her hand gripped his arm, stopping him.

                “You left two years ago because you had to. You were redeployed. You had no choice,” she started. “But he and Maria ended _before_ you left. He realized what an idiot he was and he went to you that morning after Max, to talk to you, to tell you how sorry he was, to tell you what you meant to him.”

                “I was already gone. I get it,” Alex nodded, facing her again. “I _can’t_ go back there again with him.”

                “Why?” she asked after a moment.

                “We’re not good for each other. We keep hurting one another. This thing between us, it’s always felt like a damn crash landing.”

                Isobel chuckled despite the seriousness of the conversation, her laugh making him frown.

                “Sorry, you just don’t realize how meant for each other you are,” she said, remembering Michael’s words from back then. “I understand that you don’t want to open yourself up again. You don’t want to feel that pain. But you’re suffering every moment, every day. I felt that in your mind.”

                “Your point?” he asked, growing agitated.

                “Stop pushing the love of your life away!” she exclaimed. “Your timing, the two of you, has never been great. There was always some outside force keeping you apart or one of you was never on the same page. But you can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

                “Doing what?” he whispered.

                “Hurting yourself like this,” she said. “You love him. I know you do. I felt it inside you so strongly.”

                He looked away again, unable to hold her eyes.

                “You wrote in your letter that you wanted him to let the rest of us in, to stop getting into fights, to stop drinking himself numb. You wanted him happy. You wanted him to feel peace, to heal. He did it for himself because he wanted to be better, he wanted the hurt to go away. But he also did it for _you_ ,” she exclaimed. “Now it’s your turn. He’s your family, Alex. Your father is gone. He can’t hurt you anymore just like Noah can’t hurt me. Let yourself be with Michael. You deserve it. Both of you do.”

                She took a breath to calm down as he watched her in silence.

                “He hasn’t been with anyone since you left,” she said after several beats, the words making his eyes widen. “No hookups, no flings, no one.”

                “Why?” he asked, the word a broken whisper. “I never asked him to do that.”

                “You need to ask Michael why,” she said and reached for his arm again. “But talk to him. As someone who cares deeply for her brother’s happiness, I’m asking you to please talk to him.”

                He watched her for a long time, unsure how to respond before finally nodding.

                “A part of you used to scare me in high school,” he said and she chuckled in delight.

                “What about now?”

                “Not even a little,” he said and smiled at her narrowed gaze.

                Sighing heavily, he turned away from Isobel before she could reply and rubbed his tired eyes.

                “Is Maria done yet?”

                She rose to her feet, reaching out to touch his arm but aborting midway. “Let me go check.”

                When he was left alone, he lowered his head against the counter and released a deep breath. His mind was swimming with thoughts, too many to lock away. By the time the others made their way back, Maria sighed as she reached over to touch his shoulder.

                “Did you break him?” she asked Isobel who rolled her eyes.

                Alex lifted his head and glared at both before making his way towards the parking outside. The drive was made in silence, both women exchanging worried glances as he sat behind them, eyes squeezed shut.

                “Thanks for the ride,” he said when they stopped in Michael’s driveway.

                “Are you okay?” Maria asked him quietly.

                He took a deep breath and finally faced them. “I honestly don’t know.”

                Not waiting for a response, he climbed out of the car and made his way down the path, opening the door without knocking. Stopping just inside the entryway, he took in the image of Michael sitting on the floor with his back pressed against the wall opposite the door, his head tilted back. The moment Alex barged in, Michael jumped to his feet, a look of relief overtaking him.

                “I didn’t think you’d come back tonight,” he managed as Alex closed and locked the door.

                “Why?” he asked, temporarily distracted from his thoughts as his eyes scanned down Michael’s body, taking in his white tee, jean clad thighs and bare feet.

                “Wasn’t that your boyfriend?” the question made Alex snap his eyes back up to meet his.

                “Ex,” he quickly corrected, swallowing hard. “Why, Guerin?”

                Michael watched him for several beats before taking a small step forward. “Why what?”

                “Why weren’t you with anyone?”

                Michael licked his lips and scoffed. “Isobel, I’m guessing?”

                “That wasn’t what I wanted. That was the complete opposite of what I wanted for you!” Alex snapped, his rising anger making Michael clench his jaw. “You were supposed to be happy!”

                “Like you and Stalker Steve?”

                “His name is _Ben_ and you have no right to be angry at me about that!” Alex argued, getting into Michael’s personal space. “You looked away first, Guerin. Just because you changed your mind after I was already gone…”

                “I didn’t _change my mind_ ,” Michael snapped back. “I realized what an idiot I was for thinking that Maria or anyone could ever even come close to you!”

                The words made Alex take half a step back, some of the fight leaving him. “I stayed away so you could be happy. Not so you would put your life on hold.”

                “I didn’t put anything on hold! I built a life for myself, one I’m actually proud of and I healed. I made peace with everything that happened, just like you wanted me to,” Michael exclaimed as he reached inside his pocket and pulled a folded paper out.

                Alex gasped when he realized what it was.

                “I’ve carried your letter with me since the day you left and I’ve read it over and over again,” Michael said, his chest heaving as Alex watched him. “You asked me to stop drinking. You asked me to stop getting into fights, to let the people who cared about me in so I could start to heal and I did, Alex. I’m standing here on the other side of some of the hardest months of my life, but in a better place. The pain won’t fully go away, not really, but it’s not a constant ache inside me anymore.”

                Taking the final step forward, Michael reached out to hold his hands, the touch making Alex look away as tears began to fill his eyes.

                “Not like what you still carry,” he said, his voice growing soft. “There's so much guilt inside you. So much pain. I didn’t need Isobel pointing that out for me to see it. I’ve always seen it.”

                Alex turned his gaze downwards, making Michael squeeze his hands.

                “Look at me,” he whispered and the tender tone made Alex lift his gaze a final time. “I spent ten years when you left the first time drowning myself in meaningless flings and one night stands. Just warm bodies to distract myself for a couple hours. Anything to get rid of the loneliness. But this was empty.”

                He raised their joint hands and pressed them against his heart.

                “When you walked back into my life, when I saw you at the reunion and we kissed, it was like everything made sense again and I know we screwed up. We both did. We both hurt each other those months but choosing Maria, I know it hurt a different way,” Michael said as a silent tear slipped down Alex’s cheek. “You still helped talk me down from the edge that day, despite everything. You still saved Max, helped bring him back. It’s my turn now, Alex. Let me help _you_.”

                He opened his mouth but Michael shook his head to silence him.

                “ _You’re_ my happiness, Alex. You’re my endgame,” he said and the words made the other man take a shaky breath. “Everyone else has always been a replacement but none could ever come close. No one ever will.”

                “We’re not good for each other,” Alex finally said, his voice breaking. “There’s too much damage.”

                “For so long, I never let myself think of affection or devotion. After being ripped away from Max and Isobel when we were kids, all those foster homes I lived through, I didn’t think those things existed. I hated Earth. I wanted to leave,” Michael started, smiling softly. “Then one day, you were there. Looking like a rebel on the outside but the biggest heart I had ever seen beating inside your chest. You stole my heart back in high school and I never got it back.”

                Alex shut his eyes as the tears began to fall, overwhelmed by the words.

                “Take a look around you,” Michael whispered. “This life, everything I’ve built, I made it so I could share it with you one day.”

                Snapping his eyes back open, he frowned as Michael’s smile saddened.

                “I hate that you’re always surprised when someone tells you how much they care. When _I_ tell you I care but I’ll take that as a challenge. To remind you every day just what you mean to me because you’re it for me, Alex,” he shrugged. “When I think of home, I think of you, not some faraway planet.”

                Leaning in, he pressed a gentle kiss against Alex’s cheek and another at his temple.

                “When I think of affection, I remember the kindness you showed me all those years ago, giving me a warm place to stay, giving me your brother’s guitar.”

                He pressed another kiss against Alex’s neck and a second at the corner of his jaw.

                “When I think of love,” Michael whispered, the words making Alex take a quick breath, “I see you.”

                He let Alex’s hands go to reach up and cup his face, his thumbs caressing the tears away.

                “I love you,” he finally said.

                Alex squeezed his eyes shut, the words healing a deep wound inside him. Michael watched him for several seconds, unsure how to take his reaction. Before his nerves could take over, Alex lunged forward and pulled Michael against him, trapping their lips in a kiss that washed away every last doubt that flooded him. When they moved away to gasp for air, Alex pushed Michael backwards until his legs hit something solid. Lowering himself down onto the couch cushions, Michael watched him with a gaze so open that Alex had to take a moment to collect his breath.

                Slowly pulling his jacket off, he tossed it over his shoulder and climbed onto Michael’s lap, straddling him. Their eyes connected through the swirling heat between them as Michael lifted his hands and pressed them against Alex’s hips, holding him in place. When Alex nervously licked his lips, Michael’s eyes darkened and his gaze lowered to track the movement. Cursing under his breath, Alex buried his fingers into Michael’s curls and yanked him forward, their tongues tasting each other for the first time in over two years.

                “I want you in my life, Alex,” Michael whispered, leaning back to catch his eyes. “I want you in my bed but more than that, I want you with me, always. No more running or hiding. No more hurting each other or leaving, thinking we’re doing what’s best. No more letting each other go.”

                All Alex could do was nod.

                “I love you,” Michael repeated, lifting one hand to card through Alex’s hair.

                Biting his lower lip, Alex paused for a brief second before letting the last of his anxiety melt away.

                “I love you too, Michael.”

                The whispered words brought a smile so bright to Michael’s face, it made Alex want to cry all over again. Laughing instead, he shook his head and pulled Michael in.

                “Just shup up and kiss me.”

                When their lips connected, Michael gripped his hips and rolled his own, the touch making Alex groan between their kisses.

                “Did it feel like this?” he whispered, his arms running around Alex’s back and sliding down. “With _him_?”

                “It wasn’t like that. I couldn’t…,” Alex started before sighing. “I was the one who…”

                Frowning, Michael leaned back against the cushions. “But you don’t like it…”

                “Michael,” Alex pleaded for him to understand. “Sex was always a chore with anyone else, just a way to get out of my own head for a short while. With you, it was always different. You’re the only one I could be vulnerable with. You’re the only one I let…”

                His sentence cut off as he looked down but the growl from Michael made him lift his gaze again. They stared at one another for a heated moment until Michael pulled him back in.

                “You drive me crazy,” Michael grumbled, biting at his neck again. “Are you in? With me? With this life? Us, together?”

                Alex could hear the vulnerability behind the words and pulled Michael’s face up to meet his gaze.

                “Yes.”

                The whispered word was enough for Michael to twist them until Alex was pressed against the cushions. Feeling the weight of Michael’s body draped over him, his heart began unclenching again. Their lips crashed together as hands began to pull clothing away. When they came together, fully connected, arms wrapped around each other’s bodies, Michael pressed his lips against Alex’s heart, the gentle kiss a promise between them.


	10. TEN

*****

 

                Blinking himself awake, Michael took a few moments to survey his surroundings before he felt an arm tighten around his waist. Looking down, a smile covered his face as he noticed Alex spooning him from behind, pressed between Michael and the back of the couch. Raising their locked fingers, he laid a kiss against Alex’s palm before slowly turning around. As his eyes scanned across the sleeping face, a sense of warmth washed over him. Feeling a sudden need to prove the moment was real, Michael inched closer and pressed a gentle kiss against his brow.

                A sudden twitch made him move away, watching a deep frown cover Alex’s face. When the frown intensified and Alex snapped his head back against the cushions, Michael quickly reached out to nudge him awake. Snapping his eyes open, Alex stared up nervously, his chest heaving as he came back to the present.

                “Hey, you’re okay,” Michael whispered, gently cupping the sides of Alex’s face. “You’re okay, it was just a nightmare. Breathe with me.”

                Pressing their foreheads together, they closed their eyes and breathed together until Alex felt his heartbeat slowly regulate.

                “I’m sorry,” he said when Michael pulled back. “Not the best thing to wake up to, I bet.”

                “It’s okay,” Michael smiled, leaning up on one elbow and using his free hand to push the loose strands of hair out of his lover’s face.

                Blinking nervously, Alex turned away, his walls coming back down but Michael grabbed his chin, drawing his gaze back to him.

                “No, you shouldn’t have to see me like this,” he shook his head.

                “Alex, stop,” Michael pleaded quietly. “You’re with _me_. You’re safe.”

                Sighing, he rubbed his hands across his tired eyes as Michael took in the dark circles underneath them.

                “Did you sleep at all last night?”

                Smiling to change the subject, Alex pulled at Michael’s lower back, the touch making the other man fall onto him.

                “I don’t want to squish you,” Michael chuckled.

                “Just stay here,” Alex whispered, burying his face into Michael’s neck.

                The broken plea worried him but Michael set his fears aside and turned his face to nuzzle against Alex’s neck. A few silent moments passed, both taking comfort from each other’s closeness. Looking back with a glint in his eyes, Michael began trailing kisses across the toned chest under him when a sudden knocking made them freeze.

                “Ignore it,” he huffed, the seriousness in his tone making Alex laugh. “I’m serious, whoever it is can screw off.”

                _“Michael!”_ the muffled sound of Max came from outside. _“Michael, are you awake?”_

                Glancing at the clock overhead, he groaned. “It’s eight in the morning. What the hell does he want?”

                _“Michael!”_ Max raised his voice, pounding on the door again.

                “Seriously?” he snapped, turning his body towards the door.

                “He’s not going away,” Alex smiled.

                Cursing under his breath, Michael tossed the blanket aside and reached for his boxers. Sliding them on, he turned to Alex ready to whine when he saw the dark pupils staring back at him. Smirking happily, Michael closed the distance and pulled Alex into a deep, thorough kiss.

                “You can check me out all you want, sweetheart. Won’t see me complaining,” he grinned.

                Alex rolled his eyes when another knock sounded.

                “I’m coming!” Michael shouted, angrily making his way over and yanking the door open. “What?!”

                Max smiled brightly before he looked over Michael’s shoulders to Alex waving from the couch. Taking in Michael’s disheveled appearance, realization dawned on him and he stuttered through an apology.

                “Stop mumbling and tell me what you want,” Michael said, his irritation growing.

                Max bit his lip before smiling. “Did you guys do it last night?”

                “Did we ‘do it’?” Michael laughed. “What are you, a prepubescent teenager?”

                “What? It’s obvious from your hair and the way you’re dressed that you guys got it on,” Max defended.

                “Sex, Max! It’s called sex!” Michael exclaimed. “Seriously, is that the dirty talk you use in bed with Liz? Do you look at her and say _Hey babe, let’s do it_?”

                “I’m an excellent dirty talker!” Max snapped, his arms crossing at his chest.

                “Max, you don’t even know what dirty talk is! Or foreplay!” Michael chuckled. “I bet you rub her shoulders with some kind of awkward massage.”

                “As if you’re any better,” Max grumbled.

                Smiling mischievously, Michael leaned against the doorframe. “Do you see that satisfied guy sitting behind me over there? Do you need me to give you lessons on how to make your lover look the way Alex does right now?”

                When Alex whispered his name from embarrassment, Michael tossed him a quick grin over his shoulder.

                “I make Liz feel amazing!”

                “Sure thing, Maxie,” Michael agreed with a wink. “So, why are you here banging on my door at eight in the morning? You interrupted what would have been totalling epic morning sex.”

                A sudden smack at his back made him turn around again to see a pillow at his feet and Alex glaring from the couch.

                “Hold that thought,” he said, slamming the door on Max’s stunned face.

                “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t give your brother all the details,” Alex shook his head.

                “Details on what? How good we made each other feel last night?” Michael asked, pressing one knee on the couch and caging Alex in. “How all I want to do is press you into these cushions and make love to you right now? Then I want to drag you upstairs and make love to you all over again.”

                Alex felt his eyes flutter as he lifted a shaky hand to Michael’s chest. “We can’t.”

                “Why?” Michael asked, stealing a quick kiss.

                “He’s standing outside and I don’t think he’s going away,” Alex said, finally pushing Michael far enough so he could rise to his feet, his prosthetic and pants already in place. “I’m going to take a shower.”

                “I can join you. Just give me a minute to get rid of him,” Michael grinned.

                Shaking his head but smiling, Alex pressed his forehead against Michael’s chest and took a deep, calming breath. When he leaned back, the look in his eyes left Michael worried, unable to read the reaction in his gaze. Before he could comment, Alex slipped away and quietly made his way upstairs. Sighing heavily, Michael watched him go before making his way back to the door, ushering Max inside.

                “Sorry,” Max apologized again as they leaned across from each other in the kitchen. “I didn’t realize you guys were having a moment.”

                Hearing the shower switch on upstairs, Michael felt his shoulders drop as he faced his brother. “What do you need?”

                “We were supposed to paint and decorate the nursery today,” Max reminded. “But we can do it some other time, don’t worry about it.”

                “No, that’s my baby nephew. It’s important,” Michael said, his words making Max smile. “Is it okay if Alex comes too? We just reconnected last night. I don’t want to spend the day away from him.”

                “Of course it’s okay. Liz would love it if Alex helped out,” he nodded.

                “Alright, give us an hour. We’ll meet you back at your place.”

                Smiling gratefully, Max gave him a pat on his shoulder before showing himself out. Climbing up the stairs, Michael hesitated outside the bathroom, unsure if he should knock or barge in. Choosing to be cautious, he knocked quietly and stepped inside, seeing the prosthetic placed against the wall while a towel was laid out over the closed toilet.

                “I kind of forgot but Max and I had plans today,” Michael started, looking up when Alex stuck his head out from the side of the curtain. “We were supposed to decorate the baby room.”

                “That sounds nice,” Alex smiled.

                “Did you want to come with?” Michael asked, feeling weirdly nervous.

                “I would but I don’t want to disrupt your brotherly bonding,” he said, going under the shower again.

                “Trust me, we don’t mind,” Michael smiled as the water switched off and Alex pulled the towel in.

                When the curtain got pushed aside, the towel was wrapped low around Alex’s waist. Michael let his eyes wander down the wet skin, zeroing in on the toned stomach before dragging his gaze back up. Both were breathing raggedly as Alex licked his lips and extended his free hand.

                “Come here,” he whispered, the single command making Michael rush into the bathtub beside him.

                Locking his arms around Michael’s shoulders, he pressed in close and kissed him, eliciting a satisfied groan from his lover’s throat.

                “Thank you,” he said, letting his fingers trace Michael’s brow.

                “For what?

                Biting his lip, Alex tilted his head towards the support bars built into the bathtub. Michael flushed and looked down but Alex quickly pressed another kiss to his lips.

                “I love you,” Michael whispered, unable to stop the words.

                “I love you too,” Alex smiled, leaving a final kiss at Michael’s temple before leaning back. “Can you help me out of the tub?”

                Michael moved back inside the bathroom and slowly pulled Alex behind him, leaving him to rest on the closed toilet. Watching with glistened eyes, Alex smiled as Michael knelt down to attach the prosthetic with tender hands.

                “Thank you."

                Smiling shyly, he moved past him into the hallway and made his way downstairs. Placing a hand over his heart, Michael closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

  
                ********

                They walked inside to loud sobs coming from the kitchen. Moving past the others, Max rushed towards Liz, ready to cradle her in his arms when she forcefully pushed him away. Turning her watery gaze to Alex, she held her arms out towards her friend. Biting his lip to hide his smile, Alex closed the distance and pulled her against him as her sobs grew even louder.

                “What’s wrong?”

                “Max doesn’t love me anymore,” she cried.

                “What!” Max exclaimed. “Honey, when did I _ever_ say that?”

                “When you told Maria and Isobel to come take me away this morning. It’s because you don’t want me!” she spat, moving her head back to stare at her fiancé.

                “Oh for the love of God,” Isobel muttered, making her way into the room with Maria in tow. “It was supposed to be a surprise, Liz.”

                Sniffling quietly, Liz scratched her large belly and tilted her head. “What do you mean?”

                “They wanted us to distract you so they could paint the nursery,” Maria said, her voice gentle as she offered Liz a tissue.

                Wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, she grabbed the tissue and blew her nose. “So you still love me?”

                “Yes!” Max nodded, rushing towards her. “I love you with all my heart.”

                “Forever and always?” she asked sweetly.

                “Forever and always,” he replied, pulling her into his arms.

                “Getting a cavity over here,” Michael waved.

                Alex turned towards him with a laugh. “Really? You were pretty sweet yourself.”

                Michael reached out to pull Alex in by his waist. Ignoring the rest of the room, he pressed their foreheads together and gave Alex a small, private smile.

                “Sorry, did I miss something?” Isobel asked, unable to keep the smile off her face as she motioned towards them. “When did _this_ happen?”

                “Last night,” Michael grinned, nuzzling his face at Alex’s neck and loving the blush that covered his skin. “Three times, actually.”

                Max stared at them with wide eyes. “Three times in one night?”

                “There’s so much I need to teach you,” Michael shook his head in dismay.

                “So, baby room?” Alex asked, clearing his throat to change the subject.

                “Oh, are you going to help?” Liz asked, her lip quivering again.

                “Liz, honey, why don’t we go get some brunch while the guys fix the room up?” Maria suggested.

                Sniffling quietly, she climbed off the barstool and moved past Max to pull Alex into a hug.

                “Thank you,” she smiled up at him. “I’m so glad you and Michael had sex last night.”

                “Okay,” Alex chuckled through his embarrassment. “Have a great brunch. We’ll make sure the room is perfect.”

                She gave him a lingering smile before Maria tugged her towards the door, both ignoring Max as they went.

                “So,” Isobel smirked. “Guess _Ben_ is out of the picture.”

                “You can go now!” Michael snapped, pushing his sister away.

                Alex took a deep breath and followed a muttering Max down the hallway.

                “Is everything okay between you?” she asked, keeping her voice low.

                “I don’t know. I think so. We talked a bit last night before we slept together. But Max was pounding on the door before we had a chance to say anything this morning,” Michael sighed. “He had a nightmare, though. Had to wake him up.”

                “Well, you know he’s not…okay. At least, not yet,” she said. “Just give him some time. But make sure you talk about New York. His flight’s tomorrow, isn’t it?”

                “Yeah,” he nodded.

                “Talk to him, Michael. I have a feeling he’ll stay,” Isobel smiled, reaching out to pat his shoulder.

                Nodding at her confidence, he closed the door behind her and made his way towards the empty nursery. Max was standing under the window, looking completely lost amidst the cans of paint and decorations scattered around the room. Switching his gaze to Alex, Michael watched as he bent over to grab a stuffed monkey from the pile of toys, turning towards them with a smile

                “Liz used to have a stuffed monkey she named Bruno back when she was a kid. She and Rosa would always fight over it and the thing ended up losing an eye,” Alex said, laughing gently at the memory. “When I was over at Arturo’s, just before I left for my redeployment, she had the thing sitting on her dresser. It was one of the first toys Arturo ever bought her and she always loved it. You think monkeys work as a theme?”

                “I love that,” Max smiled. “She’ll love it too. Thank you.”

                Alex shrugged and turned back towards the toys, missing the soft look in Michael’s eyes. Reaching for the paint catalogue, he flipped through it before landing on a shade and tilting the page towards them.

                “How about a Spring Meadow Green? It’s light and subtle.”

                Max stepped over to examine the sample before a wide smile covered his face. “I love it. It’s one of the colours I liked, initially. I should have a can of it here in the room.”

                “Why don’t you go over to Arturo’s and grab Bruno and Alex and I will get started on the walls?” Michael suggested.

                “That’s great. Thank you guys!” Max grinned, rushing down the hallway.

                Once the door was shut, Michael made his way forward and wrapped his arms around Alex, smiling when he felt their fingers link together.

                “You’re pretty good at this,” he whispered.

                “So are you,” Alex smiled, turning in his arms to face him. “The baby theme in your house. You have little elephants.”

                Michael shrugged, looking down shyly.

                “You want children?” Alex asked, his voice gentle.

                “Yeah, I guess,” Michael nodded, meeting his eyes again. “You?”

                “I do, I just don’t know how good I’d be at it. Didn’t have the best role model, you know,” Alex sighed.

                Michael played with his fingers, taking a small step closer. “Maybe we could fumble through it together. Fatherhood.”

                Alex gave him a look he couldn’t decipher but before Michael could backtrack and apologize, Alex wrapped his arms around his shoulders and leaned in. They melted against one another and stayed connected for several minutes, neither willing to break away.

                When Max returned an hour later with Bruno in hand, they had already finished painting the second coat on the final wall. Gathering the decorations in a pile, they removed all the excess clutter from the room, stripping the tape from the corners and leaving everything in a heap outside. By the time the crib had been assembled, the paint had dried and they decorated the room with the toys they had selected. Using the large alphabet stickers, they wrote the name _Michael Alexander_ on the wall above the crib, leaning Bruno against the pillow as a final touch.

                “This looks amazing,” Max smiled, turning towards them. “I don’t know how to thank you.”

                Michael slid his arm around Alex’s shoulders, bringing their bodies close as he smiled up at his brother. “How about you feed us?”

                Laughing at the words, Max led them downstairs where a picnic basket was waiting on the counter.

                “You can thank Isobel for that,” he pointed. “Thank you again.”

                They waved goodbye as Michael grabbed the basket and led them towards his truck outside.

                “Do you want to eat at the house?” Alex asked when they were on their way back.

                “I was thinking we could go for a ride,” Michael shrugged. “A storm's coming but we have a few hours.”

                Alex reached across the bench to clasp their hands together, the gesture making Michael smile all the way back to his ranch. Having a quick conversation with Paul, Michael followed Alex towards the stables, smiling when he saw him standing with Indy.

                “He’ll get used to you if you pick favorites,” he said, his heart melting when Alex gave him a smile over his shoulder.

                “I feel connected to him,” he said, petting Indy’s neck. “Can we take him?”

                “Let me get the saddle,” Michael said, brushing past Alex to the other end of the barn.

                When Indy was prepped and pulled from the stables, Michael went back for JoJo and saddled her the same way.

                “Alright, Indiana,” Michael started, taking the reigns and looking into the animal’s eyes. “Alex here has never ridden on a horse before so I want you to be gentle with him, alright? He matters a whole lot to me so I kind of need him to stay in one piece. You got me?”

                The horse stared at him before neighing loudly.

                “Glad we understand one another,” Michael nodded, turning around to see the amusement on Alex’s face.

                Clearing his throat, he walked to the other side and helped Alex settle on top. Taking the basket and tying it to his own saddle, Michael wore his cowboy hat and climbed onto JoJo.

                “Cowboy life really suits you,” Alex commented.

                Turning towards him, Michael gave him a charming smile. “You just think I look hot.”

                “That too, obviously,” Alex smiled, shaking his head fondly.

                “Alright Indy, I need you to go slow, alright?” Michael looked back at the horses. “Same for you, JoJo. We’re going slow and steady today, no frantic, desperate moves. Kind of like orgasm number two last night.”

               “Does everything become dirty for you?” Alex asked, laughing in disbelief.

               “Where you’re concerned, hell yes,” Michael said, lifting up to lean over and kiss Alex hard on his lips.

               Alex blushed as he watched Paul walk by them with a smirk on his face.

               “Will your leg be okay?”

               Smiling softly, Alex nodded at the concern. “I’ll be fine. I trust Indy.”

               Patting the horse on his neck, Alex leaned back and looked at Michael who was smiling.

               “Take the reigns and nudge him with your legs. He’ll start moving.”

               Alex followed the directions and Indy neighed before plodding forward. Gripping the reigns tightly, he looked back to see Michael following with an even wider smile on his face. Moving quicker until they were riding side by side, Michael reached out with one hand to squeeze Alex on his shoulder.

                “You’re safe with me. I won’t let anything hurt you.”

                His words had a deeper meaning that Alex easily recognized. Holding each other’s gaze for several seconds, Alex finally looked away and faced forward again. Plodding forward in a gentle pace, they made small talk as they rode over the desert terrain for over an hour until they reached the edge of the Lakes. Stopping under a canopy of trees, Michael hopped off his horse and held his hands out for Alex, stealing a kiss as he helped him down. Grabbing the blanket he had tucked away, he stretched it over the grass before tying both horses to a tree branch several feet away, close enough to the water for them to take a few sips. Moving back to the blanket, he sat with his back pressed against the tree and laughed when Alex planted himself over his lap to kiss him.  

                 “Thinking of giving Indy and JoJo a show?” Michael smirked, tilting his head to the bored horses.

                 Alex smiled as he shook his head, leaning in to press their lips together a final time before dropping to sit on the side.

                 “I was kidding,” Michael pouted. “We can give them a show. They won’t mind.”

                 Laughing gently, Alex pulled the basket over and flipped the lid open.

                 “Isobel knows us too well,” he chuckled, handing a beer to Michael and grabbing his own.

                 They sat together in comfortable silence, taking in the view as they sipped their beers. When Alex chuckled quietly, Michael looked over and inched towards him on the blanket.

                 “What’s so funny?”

                  “I still can’t believe you weren’t with anyone for almost two years.”

                 “How is that so hard to believe?” Michael asked, pushing the pants up Alex’s leg and detaching the prosthetic.

                  “You’re a young guy with needs,” Alex replied, his gaze growing soft as he watched Michael massage the sore muscles in his leg.

                  “My hand was my best friend,” he smirked, looking up with a playful gleam in his eyes.

                  “How many hot people did you have to imagine? I know how insatiable you can be,” Alex chuckled.

                 “Just one,” Michael said, his hands moving higher up and slipping under the edge of the scrunched pants. “He’s pretty good looking. Love how kind he can be. Sometimes a smartass but he has the biggest heart underneath all the layers.”

                 Alex released a shaky breath but couldn’t bring himself to look away.

                 “Only one who makes my heart beat the way it does,” Michael added, reaching out with one hand to press Alex’s over his chest. “Only one I’ve ever wanted. The memories were few but they were enough. Now I have the real thing. I finally have the real thing.”

                 Swallowing hard, Alex quickly moved to his lap again, spreading his fingers through Michael’s curls as he slid their mouths together. Sighing into the kiss, Michael wrapped his arms around him, bringing their bodies close. Pulling away to catch his breath, Alex pressed their foreheads together and nodded.

                 “You’ve always had me, Michael. Always.”

                 Closing his eyes, Alex turned his gaze outwards, staring off into the distance as Michael rubbed his back in comfort. When Michael’s stomach growled between them, they pulled back in laughter and spread the lunch from the basket. An hour had passed as they finished their lunch when a loud thunderclap captured their attention. Quickly gathering their supplies, Michael tied the basket to JoJo and helped Alex onto Indy before sliding in front of him.

                 “It’s going to pour down pretty hard on us in a minute. Just hold onto me. We have to get back quick,” Michael said, reaching over to grab the reigns as his free hand held onto JoJo’s.

                 Tightening his arms around Michael’s waist, Alex pressed his cheek between his shoulder blades as Michael ushered both horses forward at a quick pace. Laughing all the way back to the ranch, they rushed inside the barn and slid off the horse, completely drenched. Tying Indy and JoJo in their stables, Michael turned around and followed the wet trail to the empty stable on the other end. Alex was leaning against the wall, heaving as he tried to catch his breath, wet strands of his hair falling into his eyes. Moving forward with a purpose, Michael pulled Alex hard against him, molding their bodies together as he crashed their lips as one. Moaning from the sudden onslaught, Alex let his hands trail up Michael’s arms until they were spread around his shoulders. Reaching down without breaking the kiss, Michael lifted Alex into the air, helping him wrap his legs around his body. Cursing under his breath, Alex tilted his head backwards, allowing Michael the room to latch his lips against the tender neck.

                “I always want you so much,” Michael whispered, pressing his body harder against Alex. “I miss you even when you’re there.”

                Leaning back, Alex took a ragged breath as he cupped Michael’s face, bringing their eyes together.

               “Everything you feel, I feel it too."

               Leaning in, Michael stole a tender kiss before pulling their bodies away from the wall and lowering Alex onto the ground. Staring down into the eyes that haunted him for over a decade, Michael leaned backwards and removed his jacket, his shirt going seconds after. Biting his lips nervously, Alex let his hands travel across the scattered hairs on Michael’s chest, feeling the muscles flex under his touch.

               “I love you.”

               Michael’s heart swelled at the whispered words and he fell forward to steal a heated kiss. Letting his lips trail downwards, he pressed small kisses across the clothed body before his hands began unbuttoning the flannel jacket.

               “Tell me you’re mine,” Michael pleaded, looking into his eyes with barely controlled desperation. “Tell me this is real.”

               “This is real,” Alex promised, caressing Michael’s face with gentle hands. “What I feel for you is real.”

               Pushing the sides of Alex’s jacket aside, Michael scrunched the shirt underneath and lowered his face. Pressing a kiss onto Alex’s heart, Michael sighed contently, the tender moment bringing tears to Alex’s eyes. With another kiss over the new scar that covered Alex’s ribs, Michael trailed his lips down even lower. Closing his eyes, Alex pressed his head back against the rough stable floor, letting his body feel everything in the moment.

  
               ********  
 

               Running a hand over his eyes, Alex blinked the new nightmare away. Sighing quietly, he tilted his head to see Michael spooning him from behind. Not wanting to wake the other man, Alex slowly slid out from under his hold and grabbed his pants, sliding them on after he had attached his prosthetic. Leaving his top bare, he stared down at Michael and let his hand trail through the loose curls before rising to his feet. Walking over to the barn doors, he took a few seconds to watch the gentle rain coming down. Glancing at his watch, it was just past midnight but Alex knew sleep was a distant memory by then. Hearing a gentle neighing, he left Michael’s side and quietly made his way down the barn, stopping at Indy’s stable.

               “Hey there,” he said, keeping his voice gentle as he stepped inside and reached out to pet the horse on his neck. “Can’t sleep either, can you? I know the feeling.”

               The horse simply stared at him before craning his neck, asking for more attention. Smiling at the movement, Alex let his fingers scratch at the skin, earning himself another neigh.

               “We’re both a bit broken, aren't we?” he asked, smiling gently at the animal. “Me and Michael? That’s been years. I fell in love with him at seventeen and I never stopped. But there was always something pulling us apart. My dad, our fears, what we were willing to give each other, what we were too afraid to give.”

                Sighing heavily, he leaned in closer to the animal.

                “My dad’s gone. I know that. But in a lot of ways, he isn’t,” he said, tapping his head. “He’s still up here, telling me the same things over and over again. I keep telling myself to let it all go but it’s not as easy as you might think.”

                 Indy moved closer and tapped Alex’s chin with his muzzle, sending him back a couple steps.

                 “Calm, boy,” he chuckled, petting his neck again. “It can’t be that easy, me and him. It’s never been easy.”

                 Shaking his head, he leaned closer and pressed his cheek against Indy’s forehead. A minute passed before a pair of arms wrapped around him from behind, Michael nuzzling the back of his neck with a sleepy yawn.

                 “Where did you go?” he asked, his voice soft.

                 “Indy was making noise,” Alex said, looking at the horse and smiling at the unamused look he could have sworn the animal was giving him.

                 “Did you wake Alex up, Indy?” Michael asked, reached over to pet him. “He doesn’t sleep very well so try to keep it down next time.”

                 Alex felt a part of him break at the gentle words and turned around to pull Michael into a kiss. “Can we go to bed?”

                 Smiling sleepily, Michael took his hand and led him back to their stable. Grabbing the rest of their clothes, they slipped on their shoes and quickly made their way across the grounds. Closing the door behind them, they left their wet clothes on the entry bench as Michael began steering them towards the couch. Stopping him midway, Alex shook his head and looked towards the stairs. The bright smile that filled Michael’s face was almost too much for Alex to take. Tightening his grip on Michael’s hand, Alex led them to the second floor, walking into the master bedroom in silence. Removing the rest of their clothes, Alex unhooked his prosthetic before they slipped between the covers. Laying on his back, Michael opened his arms for Alex to slot into place, his face pressed against the warm skin of Michael’s chest. He felt a kiss against his temple before Michael tightened his arms and fell back asleep. Alex let himself listen to the gentle beating of Michael’s heart, his eyes never closing again.


	11. Chapter 11

*****

 

                Michael instantly knew something was wrong before his eyes even blinked awake. As consciousness slowly came back to him, he felt across the bed and frowned, sitting up to find the spot beside him empty. Glancing around the quiet room, he rubbed his tired eyes and slid out of bed. Tossing on a pair of jeans and a clean black tee from his closet, he cleaned up in the bathroom before making his way downstairs. Seeing a shadow through the window by the open front door, he walked out onto the porch and froze when he saw Alex sitting on the steps, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders as he sipped from his coffee.

                “Morning,” he said, the gentle greeting making Alex look up at him.

                The smile Michael received was warm but exhausted. Lowering himself onto the step beside Alex, he leaned his elbows on his knees and turned towards him.

                “What are you doing awake so early?”

                “Surprised how late _you_ slept,” Alex countered. “Don’t ranch owners need to get up at the crack of dawn?”

                “That’s why I have Paul,” Michael grinned, grateful when the new smile Alex gave him felt more genuine than the first. “Why are you up?”

                “Couldn’t sleep,” Alex shrugged, taking another sip before offering the mug to Michael.

                “You take your coffee too damn sweet for my taste,” he chuckled, waving the mug away. “I’m all about the bitter aftertaste.”

                He wiggled his brows at Alex who shook his head, unable to keep the smile from his face. They sat together in silence for a few minutes, both staring out at the beauty of the horizon when Isobel’s words came crashing back to Michael’s mind.

                “So, about today,” he started.

                “I have to go see the lawyer again,” Alex cut in. “He called me this morning, has some offers on the house he wanted to go through with me.”

                “Still planning on selling it?”

                “My memories of that house aren’t good,” Alex said, turning his gaze back to the distance. “Even before he got…violent.”

                Michael wanted to reach out and pull the other man against his chest but the harsh tenseness in Alex’s shoulders made him stop at the last second.

                “Your car’s good to go, by the way. I fixed it up after the Pony the other night,” he said to fill the silence.

                Alex looked over at him, an unreadable expression filling his face. “What do I owe you?”

                Rolling his eyes, Michael nudged his shoulder. “A kiss will do.”

                Instead of the smile he was hoping to see, Alex reached over to cup Michael’s face, holding his gaze for several beats. When he finally leaned in, the kiss was tender in a way that left Michael on edge.

                “Thanks for fixing the car,” Alex said and pulled away. “I’ll go meet with him, see what he says. We can do lunch later?”

                “Yeah, lunch is good,” Michael nodded.

                When Alex rose to his feet, tossing the blanket on the empty chair and started moving towards the door, Michael reached out and grabbed his hand, twining their fingers together.

                “Are we okay?” he asked, looking up.

                Alex hesitated for only a second before nodding.

                Swallowing hard, Michael cleared his throat. “I love you.”

                The smile that filled Alex’s face set Michael’s heart on fire. Leaning down, Alex pulled their joint hand to his lips and placed a kiss on Michael’s knuckles before kissing his lips again.

                “I love you too.”

                The conviction behind the words was enough to silence Michael’s fears. He gave a lopsided grin and watched as Alex walked into the house, coming out moments later with his wallet and keys in hand. Giving Michael a small wave, he made his way towards his rental and disappeared down the road.

                “You are so whipped!” a voice tore Michael’s out of his daze.

                Looking towards the barn, he frowned at Mandy and Keith, his full time ranch hands as they led Indy and JoJo out of the stables towards the pen.

                “Does Alex know what your ranch is named after?” Mandy asked, petting JoJo’s neck with a smirk.

                “I don’t pay you to comment on my love life!” Michael hollered back.

                Ignoring the teasing shouts, he glanced down at his watch and cringed, realizing how late he already was. Climbing behind his wheel, he gave his employees the finger salute as he made his way towards town.

  
               ********

                Sliding into one of the chairs, Alex watched as Tom closed the door and moved to sit behind his desk. The older man took a moment to go through the thick file before removing his glasses and sitting more comfortably.

                “We have a buyer for the house. We listed at three hundred and seventy thousand. Your neighbourhood had houses selling just over four hundred but those had been newly renovated and yours unfortunately requires many upgrades,” Tom explained and waited for Alex to nod before he continued. “The buyer put an offer of three hundred and fifty and I think that’s a good deal.”

                “That sounds fine,” Alex shrugged.

                “Great!” Tom smiled. “Did you have a chance to think of which charities you wanted to donate the money to? If that’s still the way you’re leaning?”

                Sighing heavily, Alex ran a hand through his hair and shook his head.

                “We don’t have to decide anything right now,” Tom eased him. “I can have the money wired into your account until you decide what you want to do.”

                When Alex remained silent, Tom sat forward with a sigh.

                “Are you still planning on going back to New York?”

                Alex snapped his eyes back up. “Why do you ask?”

                “Just that another option could be that you take some of that money and use it as a down payment on a new house for yourself here, if you choose to move back home. You could always donate the remaining balance,” Tom suggested. “It’s very good of you, wanting to donate the whole sum but the house is yours, Alex. Past history aside, it is now legally yours. You are allowed to use some of the money on yourself.”

                “It was never my house, not really,” Alex shrugged, the resigned fatigue in his voice taking Tom by surprise. “I grew up there, lived there until I graduated high school but it was just a roof over my head. It was never a _home_.”

                Smiling softly, he looked up and met his lawyer’s eyes.

                “A home is somewhere that has pictures framed on the walls, a fireplace you can light up when the night gets cold and somewhere you can see yourself growing old in,” he said, images of Michael’s house flashing through his mind. “Somewhere safe and warm. Somewhere you feel loved.”

                “Seems like maybe you already have such a place?” Tom ventured.

                “Yeah,” Alex said, sighing heavily.

                “Then why do you look so down?”

                The question took Alex by surprise. He looked up at the other man but no words formed in his mouth. Smiling kindly, Tom looked away and shifted the papers in the folder, the move catching Alex’s attention.

                “I thought I asked you to destroy that.”

                Looking down, Tom noticed the letter wedged behind the papers he had drawn up for the offer.

                “Yes,” he said guiltily. “I was going to but I thought…”

                “You thought what?” Alex asked, sitting up straight.

                Sighing quietly, Tom grabbed the letter and held it out. “Maybe you need to be the one who destroys it?”

                Alex stared at the sealed envelope for several beats before gingerly taking it in his hands.

                “I hope I didn’t step out of bounds,” Tom apologized. “Alex, you seem like a wonderful young man. Everything I’ve heard of you, your heroics in war, I want to do right by you.”

                Alex stared down at the envelope in his hands, his eyes unblinking.

                “I understand this is none of my business but after everything you mentioned of your father and your relationship with him, I thought maybe destroying the letter yourself would be cathartic.”

                Looking up, Alex slowly shook his head. “Don’t worry about it.”

                Nodding in relief, Tom shut the folder. “I’ll accept the offer then. I’ll email you the details and you can send me your banking information once everything has been settled. Does that sound good?”

                “That’s fine. Thank you.”

                Rising to his feet, he dragged his eyes up from the envelope and faced the older man.

                “Thank you for helping me out with all of this.”

                “I’m more than happy to, Captain,” Tom replied, a gentle smile filling his face. “You’re a hero, son. Thank you for your service.”

                Taking a sharp breath, Alex nodded before opening the door and flying out of the office. Taking a moment to catch his breath, he walked past his car until he reached the same empty gazebo he and Ben had spoken in. Staring down at the envelope, Alex flipped it over in his hands, a part of him urging to destroy the thing, knowing the hateful words he was sure to find inside, while another part felt a desperate need to read his father’s words a final time. Finally ripping the envelope open, he pulled the paper into his hands. Straightening the edges, he leaned forward on his knees and began to read.

  
                ********

                “Michael!”

                Looking up, he smiled and rose to his feet, greeting Nascha with a quick hug as she sat across him in the café. They ordered their coffees from the waitress and waited until their drinks had arrived before easing into their seats.

                “How is my son?” she asked,

                “Good,” he nodded, a smile creeping onto his face.

                “Have the two of you reunited?”

                Michael chuckled as his cheeks began to tint. “Sorry, it’s just weird talking to you about this.”

                “I’m not asking for details into the sex life you share with my son,” Nascha smiled, her words making Michael groan out loud. “But before I do as you asked, I would like to know if you are together again.”

                “Yes,” Michael nodded.

                The smile that spread across her face was enough to squash away the awkwardness.

                “Have you asked him about his travel plans?” she asked and sighed when he looked down. “Michael, his flight is leaving tonight. You still haven’t discussed it with him?”

                “I figured he was staying!” he defended and quickly deflated at the unimpressed look she was giving him. “I guess I’m too nervous to ask. What if he still leaves?”

                “Have you asked him to stay?”

                Michael looked up and finally smiled again. “I will when you give me what you brought.”

                Laughing fondly, she reached into her purse and pulled a small jewelry box from inside, pushing it across the table. Lifting the lid, Michael stared down at the wedding band, two silver lines woven together in a simple, but meaningful, pattern.

                “The ring was my Father’s. He was given this by my Mother on the eve of their union. The woven bands symbolize infinite strength and love through unity.”

                “It’s perfect,” Michael managed. “But this is your Father’s. Are you sure it’s okay?”

                Reaching out, she pressed her hand over his. “He was honoured to give this.”

                They shared a small smile before she leaned back in her chair and sipped her coffee.

                “So, tell me how you plan to propose.”

                ********

                “Yes, Jenna, I’ll grab the fat free yogurt,” Kyle chuckled into his cell as he climbed out of his car. “The vanilla flavour, I know.”

                Shutting his door, he looked up and noticed Alex sitting in the gazebo several yards away.

                “Babe, I have to go,” he said and smiled. “I love you too.”

                Stuffing his phone into his pocket, Kyle jogged his way over and quickly lost his smile when he saw the quiet tears his friend was shedding.

                “Alex, what’s going on?”

                When the other man shut his eyes without comment, Kyle looked down to the letter gripped tightly in his hands. Yanking the paper away, his eyes scanned the lines for several seconds before lowering his hands.

                “What the hell is this?"

                Opening his eyes, Alex looked up at his best friend and shook his head. “He left the house to me. The shed too. Redid his will before I was redeployed. Left that for me with the lawyer.”

                “Why the hell did you read it?” Kyle demanded, lowering himself onto the bench. “Alex, why would you do that to yourself?”

                “It’s crazy, isn’t it?” he countered, laughing inwardly. “I know the man he was. I know all the awful things he did to Michael’s people, to Michael, to _me_.”

                “Then why would you read this?” Kyle repeated.

                “I guess because there was a small part of me that still hoped he gave a shit.”

                Laughing again, he angrily wiped at his eyes.

                “Pretty stupid, aren’t I?” he asked, his voice full of bitter resentment. “You were nothing but a disappointment, Alex. I wish you had never been born, Alex. You disgust me in every way. How could you choose the creatures that will bring our ruination over your own kind? Things would have been so much easier if you had died at Caulfield along with your alien lover. Every time you look at that shed, I want you to remember what I did that day.”

                Looking up, he smiled sadly at his friend.

                “Did that cover it?”

                Crumpling the paper in his fist, Kyle shoved the letter in his pocket before reaching out to grip Alex’s shoulder.

                “Your father was an evil, heartless prick who made it his life’s mission to not only hunt down innocent people but to hurt his youngest son in every possible way,” Kyle exclaimed. “He never deserved your thoughts when he was breathing and he sure as hell doesn’t deserve them now.”

                Lowering his face to his hands, Alex groaned loudly as he rubbed his eyes.

                “Alex, your father is gone,” Kyle said after a minute. “You need to get him out of your head. Reading shit like this doesn’t help.”

                “Easier said than done,” he replied and released a deep breath.

                Rubbing his friend’s shoulder, Kyle leaned forward on his knees. “A little birdie told me you and Guerin worked things out.”

                “Was that little birdie Liz, Maria or Isobel?”

                “Max, actually,” Kyle chuckled. “Said you guys did the nursery. He was all emotional on the phone. Kept saying how much he loved you both for helping out.”

                His words finally coaxed a small smile out of Alex and Kyle gratefully took the win.

                “What’s going on with you, man?” he asked after another stretch of silence. “Your flight’s tonight. Have you cancelled yet?”

                Alex looked up at him and shook his head.

                “Are you planning on cancelling?”

                The confused look in Alex’s eyes was enough answer for Kyle to sigh.

                “Look,” he started. “We’ve been through a lot. Our whole group. But things have finally settled around here. Isobel and Maria are genuinely happy together. Liz is about to pop in a few weeks. With me, I love Jenna. I’m thinking about rings.”

                Alex smiled despite the ache he felt inside.

                “Guerin built a whole life. A house, a ranch, a business. He’s doing good, Alex. You’re the last missing piece.”

                “Everyone’s happy. Everyone’s doing good,” Alex nodded. “I guess I’m always late to the program.”

                Before Kyle could comment, Alex rose to his feet and reached down to pat his friend’s face.

                “I’m really glad you and I are friends,” he said, leaning down to press a chaste kiss to the side of Kyle’s head. “I’ll see you later.”

                Kyle called out after him but Alex kept walking until he was back in his car, peeling down the road without glancing back.

                 
                ********  
 

                “Alex, will you marry me?” Michael said, speaking to himself as he drove towards the ranch. “That totally sucks. Alex, I love you more than anything. Will you marry me?”

                Making a right turn, he groaned and punched his steering wheel.

                “Marry me, dammit,” he said before a nervous chuckle escaped his throat. “You and me are epic. Marry me.”

                Sighing heavily, he ran a frustrated hand through his hair.

                “You’re the home I never knew I needed. My heart belongs to you and it always has. Marry me and let me spend the rest of our lives showing you why our love was worth it.”

                Smiling at himself, he pulled down the driveway leading towards his house and parked at the garage. Climbing out with a nervous chuckle, he walked down the pathway and froze when he saw Alex sitting on the steps.

                “Hey,” he greeted, his smile growing soft. “What happened with the lawyer? I didn’t think you’d be back yet.”

                Alex looked up at him and the redness in his eyes were enough to send Michael’s worry into overdrive. He opened his mouth to question when his eyes caught sight of the packed bag on the porch. Dragging his gaze from the bag to Alex, he took a small step backwards in confusion.

                “What’s going on?”

                Slowly rising to his feet, Alex walked down the few steps but stopped when he saw the look in Michael’s eyes.

                “I’m not walking away,” was the first thing he said, the words making Michael’s breath catch.

                “Why’s your bag packed then?” he managed, desperately keeping his voice even.

                Sighing, Alex moved closer until he was a mere few feet away.

                “I look at you and the life you’ve built for yourself and it makes me so happy, Michael. Seeing where you are, everything you’ve done, how at peace you finally seem to be, you have no idea how happy that makes me.”

                Swallowing hard, Michael stayed rooted in place, his wide eyes watching Alex quietly.

                “I’m not there yet,” Alex said, lifting one hand to rub the back of his neck.

                “I don’t understand,” Michael said after a moment.

                Alex watched him for several beats, trying to find the right words before his shoulders finally dropped.

                “So much of my life, I’ve spent afraid. Fearful of my father, of war, of my never ending feelings for you. Afraid that the rest of the world would treat my being gay the way my father did,” he explained as a tear slipped down his cheek. “I’ve faked my confidence fairly well over the years but deep down, a big part of me is still that scared kid who got abused by his dad for being different.”

                Michael opened his mouth but Alex held up his hand, the desperation in his eyes silencing the other man.

                “He’s _gone_. I know that but my mind still hasn’t accepted it,” he continued. “I _want_ to be better. I _want_ to close my eyes and feel peace inside me. I _want_ to stop having nightmares of war and hammers and that belt he loved using on those special nights.”

                Lowering his gaze, Alex stared at his leg as Michael felt his eyes begin to well.

                “I want to stop reaching down to scratch a phantom itch on a leg I know isn’t there anymore,” he whispered.

                “Let me help you,” Michael cut in. “I can help you make peace with everything.”

                “I want to be better, Michael. Not just for you but for _me_. I need to be better for _me_. But it’s something I have to do on my own.”

                “But you’re not alone, Alex!” Michael snapped, walking forward to cup his face. “You’re allowed to ask others for help. You’re allowed to let others in. You told me that, remember?”

                “I know,” Alex nodded, reaching up to lace their hands together. “I’m so glad that you were able to do that. I’m so happy that you were able to let your mind and your heart heal. But I need to do this on my own.”

                “Why?” Michael pleaded.

                “To prove to myself that I can,” Alex finished. “I love you. I want to be with you, to start a life with you. But I need to get my head on straight before I can take that step.”

                “What am I supposed to do? Just let you walk out of here and hope you’ll come back one day?”

                “I’m asking you to wait for me,” Alex said, his words making Michael take a sharp breath.

                Leaning forward, Alex pressed their foreheads together and squeezed his eyes shut.

                “I know we’ve waited for years already, that you’ve waited even longer. But I need to do this for me, Michael, and for us. If I stay here with you the way my heart wants me to, all those voices in my head will come back and destroy us. I need to silence them.”

                “Alex…,” Michael whispered, his voice desperate.

                “I know it’s selfish of me to ask you this, after everything, but I’m asking you all the same,” he cut him off. “Please give me a little time to get my head straight.”

                “There’s nothing wrong with you,” Michael said as he moved back to meet his gaze. “I love you how you are. I don’t need you to change.”

                Freeing one hand, Alex reached up to touch Michael’s cheek in a tender caress.

                “I’m not walking away. I’m not saying goodbye,” he vowed, his voice gentle but firm. “I still have nightmares, Michael. I still hear my father’s voice in my head. I close my eyes and he’s there. I still feel bullets flying past my ear. The feel of my leg being torn off. Those emotions, none of them have gone away. None of them have healed. As much as my heart is telling me to stay, I know it will hurt us right now if I do. All I’m asking for is a little more time.”

                “Do you think I won’t wait for you?” Michael demanded as he pulled Alex tight against his chest, wrapping his arms around him. “I’ve been waiting since we were seventeen. You’re it for me. When will you understand?”

                “I do,” he whispered, tightening his own arms around Michael’s shoulders. “I love you.”

                Michael cursed under his breath as he felt his tears begin to fall. “I love you too.”

                They held onto one another for several more seconds before Michael pulled back only to crash their lips together. Groaning from the hard kiss, Alex opened his mouth and let Michael have his fix, leaning back when the need for air got too intense. Panting in the intimate space between them, Alex ran his fingers into Michael’s curls, leaving small kisses all over his face.

                “Promise me you’ll come back.” Michael pleaded, his broken voice making Alex lean back to meet his gaze.

                “I promise, Michael. I promise.”

                Kissing a final time, Alex tore himself away and grabbed his bag before walking to his car. Tossing his bag through the open window, he stopped and looked back at Michael who was watching him in silence, his heartbreak bleeding through. Unable to stop himself, he rushed back over, ignoring the shooting ache in his leg and pulled Michael against him. The kiss they shared carried all the pain their hearts were feeling but ended on a hopeful promise.

                “Don’t think this means we’re not staying in touch,” Alex said as he leaned back. “I’m going to text and talk your ear off until you’re so sick of me, you’ll tell me to go away.”

                The words were spoken nervously but Michael simply shook his head.

                “That will never happen,” he said, raising their locked hands over his heart. “For better or worse, you’re in here. That’s never going away.”

                Smiling sadly, Alex pressed a final kiss to his lips and climbed into his truck. Shutting his door behind him, he took a moment to meet Michael’s gaze before reversing. When Michael was no longer able to see him, Alex broke down in tears as he drove away. Lowering himself onto the porch steps, Michael rubbed a hand over his eyes, reaching into his pocket to pull the jewelry box out. Lifting the lid, he stared down at the woven wedding band for several long minutes, oblivious to the world around him. Closing his eyes, he tilted his head towards the sky and let the sudden rain mix with his quiet tears.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. Just want them on equal footing, emotionally and mentally, before they take that final step.


	12. TWELVE

*****

 

                Sitting on the patio bench with his elbows pressed forward on his knees, Michael watched as Max and Kyle stood over the barbecue, Liz sat under a tree busying herself with the visiting Rosa while Maria and Jenna helped set the table for lunch. When Jenna made a comment and wiggled her brows in Kyle’s direction, Maria released a stunned laugh, the sound bringing Isobel to wrap her girlfriend in a warm embrace from behind. Looking down from the heaviness he felt in his own heart, Michael reached into his pocket and withdrew the small box he’d been holding for the past month. Tilting the lid open, he stared down at the wedding band for several moments, unaware that the movement had caught Isobel’s gaze from the side. When she focused on the object in his hands, her eyes widened in shock before she rushed towards him across the yard. He startled at her sudden presence, quickly stuffing the box back in his pocket, away from her grabby hands.

                “Michael, is that what I think it is?”

                “Quiet,” he pleaded, glancing back towards the others. “No one knows and I want to keep it that way.”

                “Why would you want to hide it? That’s an engagement ring!”

                “Isobel, seriously, please!” he hissed.

                “I’m sorry,” she whispered, leaning closer on the bench. “But this is incredible! You’re going to ask Alex to marry you?”

                “I was going to ask Alex last month before he left,” Michael sighed. “Now I’m just holding onto it for one day. Don’t know when one day will be.”

                “Michael,” she started, her tone forcing him to meet her pointed gaze. “You and Alex are going to be just fine.”

                “How do you know that? Were you able to read his mind all the way in New York?”

                “No,” she chuckled, stretching her arm across his shoulders. “But I have a feeling about this, Michael. What he’s doing right now is good for you both in the long run. You were able to heal these past two years. You were able to make peace with so much that has happened in your life. He just wants to do the same.”

                “I know,” he said, sliding his hand through his curls. “I know all that. I just miss him.”

                “Are you guys still talking?”

                “Every night and we text during the day,” he said with a shrug. “I guess some days are just harder not having him around.”

                “What’s significant about today?”

                “It’s the anniversary of the first time we kissed,” he said, smiling at the memory. “Well, I kissed him. He thought I was there to let him down. He was stunned for a few seconds but then he kissed me back. He _really_ kissed me back _.”_

“You really are a softie, aren’t you?” she smiled.

                “Just with him,” he spoke quietly. “We slept together for the first time too that night. His dad shattering my hand and Rosa, all of those happened too but I try to only remember the good parts.”

                Squeezing his shoulders, she pulled him in against her and pressed a kiss to his cheek. They stayed close beside each other until Max called out that lunch was done.

 

                ********

 

                Tapping his foot nervously against his seat, Alex glanced between the empty chairs in the small waiting room before the door at the end of the hall finally opened.

                “Hi Alex, come on in.”

                Rising to his feet, he made his way forward and reached out to shake the older man’s hand. “Hey Dr. Morgan. Thanks again for meeting me earlier this week.”

                The Psychiatrist closed the door behind them and motioned for Alex to sit on the couch before taking his seat in the armchair across.

                “I’m happy to accommodate if the schedule allows it,” he smiled, opening the folder on his lap. “So in your last session, we discussed your friendships with Kyle, Liz and Maria. We spoke about Michael and how hurt you were when he chose your friend. We also discussed some goals that you have. Some of the things you want in your life. You mentioned love, happiness and peace. Lets talk about peace for a moment. How do you mean?”

                “I guess I want my heart and my mind to be at peace,” Alex shrugged. “My heart knows how I can have that.”

                “Michael?”

                Alex nodded before sighing. “But my mind is sort of stuck. The endless loop of nightmares and memories, fears I’ve been holding onto for half my life.”

                “Let’s start there. Fear. When you think of that word, what comes to mind?”

                “My Father,” he said with a bitter laugh. “Abandonment. Consequences from having what I want.”

                “Abandonment,” Dr. Morgan repeated. “Is that mostly in relation to your Mother?”

                Nodding, Alex leaned back further on the cushions. “Families break apart all the time. I know that. She left to protect her people, the rest of her family. I understand why she did what she did. We’ve even started having a relationship again. We talk on the phone and I saw her when I went back to Roswell last month.”

                “These are all positive steps in rebuilding your fractured relationship,” Dr. Morgan nodded. “Have you spoken since you returned to New York?”

                “Once a week.”

                “How do you end those calls?”

                “She tells me she loves me every time before we hang up and I never say it back,” he spoke, staring down at his hands. “I know that hurts her.”

                “Why can’t you say those words? Do you not love your Mother?”

                “I do,” Alex shook his head. “I understand why she left.”

                “Then why?” the Psychiatrist pressed.

                “We were her family too,” he finally said. “She abandoned four sons. My oldest brothers Ben and Jamie, they were always more like my Father. Cold and calculating. My other brother Flint, he kind of teetered between my parents. That’s why he’s the only one I sort of have a relationship with these days.”

                “What about you?”

                “Me? I was more like my Mom,” Alex said, scoffing lightly. “Always cared too much, too open, too kind. I never saw those as faults but he did. She may not have known the degree of evil inside him but she knew he wasn’t a good man. She still walked away and chose her other family and strangers over her own children.”

                “How did that make you feel?”

                “Angry, heartbroken, fearful,” he shrugged. “I reminded him most of her so when she left, I suffered most of the consequences. You can imagine how well he took it when he discovered I liked boys.”

                Dr. Morgan watched him for a thoughtful moment before motioning for him to continue.

                “So I get it, you know? I get why she did it. I get that she saved a lot of lives by leaving.”

                “But forgiveness is harder than you thought?” the Doctor offered, making Alex meet his eyes.

                “I don’t want to hold this over her. I want to be able to tell her I love her,” he said, sighing heavily. “Maybe I should just grow up. I’m not a kid anymore.”

                “But you _were_ a child when you were abandoned and you were left in a situation that you could not control. You were abused, Alex.”

                The words made Alex squeeze his eyes shut, his hands clenching into fists over his thighs.

                “You were introduced to violence in a brutal way by someone who should have loved you. I’m very sorry that you went through that.”

                When Alex opened his eyes again, tears had begun to form.

                “Do you need to stop or take a break?” Dr. Morgan asked, his genuine concern strengthening the gratitude Alex felt for the other man.

                “No, if I stop now, I may not start again.”

                “Okay,” the older man smiled kindly. “Your Father.”

                “Heartless, delusional, homophobic and cruel,” Alex said without hesitation.

                “Can you discuss the first time he raised his hands on you?”

                Alex swallowed hard as he unclenched his fists, twisting his fingers together instead.

                “My childhood best friend, Kyle, we were really close growing up,” he started, staring off at a spot on the wall ahead. “We were fifteen. It was the summer before Sophomore year. We had started building a tree house in his backyard and we’d spend a few nights a week after school over there, getting all the details right. Our fathers were friends back then.”

                “What happened with the tree house? Did you finish building it?”

                “We did,” he nodded as a memory washed over him. “One night, we were having a barbecue over there for dinner. It was a Sunday. Kyle’s mom had just gotten off from the Sheriff’s department and I remember she had changed into this flowy summer dress afterwards. Hardly ever saw her outside her uniform. It stuck out.”

                “So the five of you were there, starting dinner. Kyle’s mother had joined in after work. What happened next?”

                “When we were finished eating, the two of us went up in the tree house and we just sat there with our legs dangling off the side,” he said, his eyes growing dark. “We were laughing so hard at something mundane when his pop tilted all over him and he took his shirt off. He’d been working out that summer, wanted to get on the football team in the Fall. I remember just staring at him, at his chest, his abs, his arms. Before then, the two of us had always been really close, like brothers. We were never shy around each other. I hugged him, he always hugged me back. But I remember looking at him in that moment and seeing him differently for the first time. I blushed and looked away and caught my dad watching me from below.”

                He hesitated for a moment to take a breath before continuing.

                “On the drive back, he didn’t say anything. He was really quiet. We got home and I went to my room, thought the weirdness would be over in the morning.”

                “What happened then?”

                “I woke up and he was standing over me. I didn’t like my Father too much before that day but that moment, right then, it was the first time I was ever afraid of him. Afraid of the look in his eyes,” Alex said, looking up as a single tear slipped down his face. “I didn’t even see the first hit of the belt coming until I felt it on my cheek. It hurt so much. I remembered scrambling out of bed to get away but my hair was longer back then and he grabbed it, curled his fingers tight and yanked me back.”

                Another tear slipped down his cheek and Alex wiped it away in anger.

                “No son of mine will ever be a queer,” he spat, repeating the words of so long ago. “I wasn’t the biggest kid when I was fifteen so he overpowered me, easily. Hit after hit after hit.”

                Licking his lips, he released a shaky breath as Dr. Morgan watched in silence.

                “When he was finally done, he left me a bleeding mess on my bed. Told me to clean up and stormed out. When I was limping to the bathroom a while later, I heard him speaking to our Principle. Told the school I had fallen off my bike and I’d miss a few days. No one ever questioned it.”

                The Psychiatrist nodded, jotting a few notes down in the file.

                “How long did it continue after that?”

                “Until I graduated,” Alex said, swallowing the lump in his throat. “His moods were never predictable. He would go days without leaving a mark and then suddenly, something would set him off. I tried fighting him off in the beginning, even got a couple hits in myself but it made it worse, Made him angrier. Made the beatings last longer. So I just took it. I stopped fighting him and took whatever he threw at me but that fear was always there. Not knowing when.”

                “Did you ever think of calling the authorities on him?” Dr. Morgan asked, crossing his leg over his knee.

                “He was a decorated Air Force Sergeant, respected by the community. I was the teenager who spent most of his time at the skate park or playing the guitar instead of focusing on homework. didn’t have the best grades. Who would have taken my side?” Alex asked with a bitter laugh. “Besides, I figured they would track my Mother down and send me to live with her if it ever reached the court and back then, I hated her as much as I hated him.”

                “How about your friends?”

                “Kyle had stopped being my friend by the time school started a month after that day. Rumors were going around about me being gay and suddenly, he was joining in on the taunts. He was helping the other kids push me against lockers, knock me around if they caught me alone,” he said, looking off to the side. “My other friends, Liz and Maria, they suspected that something was going on when I started missing school for days at a time and then show up with a limp or a sore wrist. But we never talked about it and I was glad about that. There was very little in my life that I had control over back then. What went on behind closed doors and who knew about it, that was the one thing I _could_ control so I kept everything bottled up.”

                “Do you think that helped? Having that bit of control?”

                “The secret to surviving through it all? You can’t let them see how broken you are,” Alex said, smiling sadly. “Not your friends, definitely not the ones that are making you suffer. It doesn’t matter how much you’re dying on the inside. You can’t let anyone see you that way. You learn denial, acceptance, silence. But it’s how you survive. By having that one bit of control in a life that had spiralled in every way.”

                Dr. Morgan took a deep breath before settling back in his seat.

                “Tell me about Michael.”

                Alex felt the smile before his lips ticked upwards. “He was everything. He _is_ everything.”

                “How did you meet him?” the Psychiatrist smiled in reply.

                “Second semester, senior year. We were in the same classes and knew the same people but we never really talked ourselves,” he shrugged. “Then one day, he took my guitar from the music room and I confronted him about it. I saw his sleeping bag in the back of his truck and something inside me just melted. I offered him our shed in case he needed somewhere warm to sleep.”

                “That was very kind of you.”

                “Honestly, I didn’t even think of him that way at first. I just recognized the sadness in his soul, bleeding through his eyes because it mirrored mine,” Alex said. “I got into a fight with Kyle at Prom. One second Kyle and I were at each other’s throats and the next, Michael had stepped in and pushed Kyle off. He just looked at me with this deep concern I hadn’t felt in so long and asked me if I was okay. I wanted to reach out and hug him in that moment, to curl myself against him knowing he’d keep me safe but I was still pissed off and high in adrenaline from the fight. Plus everyone was standing around us, just staring so I walked off.”

                “Did he seek you out after?”

                “No, I went to the shed one night to give him my brother’s guitar. He was all nervous and flustered at first, apologizing for being there. Just really cute,” Alex chuckled. “But then we had a moment and I leaned in to kiss him but he pulled back at the last second. After that, I said goodnight and got the hell out of there. First guy I had genuinely liked.”

                “What happened next?”

                “A couple days later, I was working my shift at the UFO museum and he came by. He said he wanted to talk. I figured he was going to let me down all nice and gentle because as much as Guerin tries to act all touch and unfeeling sometimes, deep down he has such a big heart. He cares so much. That hasn’t changed. So he surprised me even more when he kissed me.”

                Dr. Morgan chuckled lightly. “Did the two of you take it further?”

                “We went back to the shed and we fumbled through it all, both if us nervous until we weren’t. It was perfect,” he said before his gaze darkened, the sudden change making the Psychiatrist frown. “But I should have known better. I never should have taken him back to the shed.”

                He looked up to meet the Doctor’s eyes, his own beginning to shine once more.

                “My Father came in and it felt like the temperature in the room just dropped. The look in his eyes, I couldn’t even recognize him,” Alex said, his voice growing quiet. “He came at me and Michael, stupid, beautiful, wonderful Michael pushed him off and my Father…”

                He looked away as his tears began to fall, shaking his head at the memory.

                “He grabbed a hammer and shattered Michael’s hand.”

                Dr. Morgan swallowed at the image it invoked, clearing his throat as he shifted in his seat.

                “How dare you? Under my roof?” Alex spat out the words and shook his head. “ _Fuck_  you!”

                Lowering his face into his hands, he took a quiet moment to compose himself. Dr. Morgan felt an urge to reach out and comfort him but feared the touch would be unwelcome.

                “Michael didn’t really stick around much after that. We saw each other in school a few times but he never approached me and I could never find the courage to approach him,” Alex shrugged. “Finally, we were close to graduating. I didn’t have the grades to get into University and a Community College, he’d never allow. So I had two choices. Either I’d run away or I’d enlist. I never wanted to join the military, to follow in his footsteps but at least if I went, training would make me stronger. I’d learn how to win battles, you know? Instead of losing them all the time.”

                “Did you let Michael know before you left?”

                “I thought of leaving him a letter at first since he didn’t have a phone but it wasn’t right. After what he went through because of me, I owed him more than a note in his locker. So I stopped him after school, asked him to sit on the bleachers,” Alex said, releasing a deep breath. “He started saying he was sorry for ignoring me and I cut him off, told him straight that I had enlisted and that I was saying goodbye. He just stared at me for a bit and then he got angry. Started yelling, telling me I was running away, I was giving up on us. To be honest, I didn’t think there was an _us_ anymore. Then he started kissing me and asked me to run away with him. I thought he was insane but he was serious. But even if I contemplated the absurdity of his words for a moment, I’d already enlisted and I couldn’t back out. He got angry again, told me off and walked away. I just sat there for a while. When my legs finally started working, I walked back towards my house. He pulled up in his truck beside me, jumped out and crushed me against him, telling me how sorry he was. We just held each other on the side of the road for a long while.”

                He ran a hand through his hair and scratched a phantom itch on his cheek.  

                “We spent the night together in his truck out in the desert. Memories I’d hold onto for so long,” he said, meeting the other man’s gaze once more. “In the morning, he dropped me off and kissed me goodbye. My dad had a field day with that one but it was worth it. I packed my bags and left the same day. We saw each other a few times when I was back in Roswell on leave. The first time, we got back together for two days but then said goodbye in anger. My next two leaves, all we did was fight. By the time I was rehabilitated from my injury and stationed back home, it had been three years since we’d seen each other last. I already told you the rest about the reunion, the drive in, Maria.”

                “Yes,” Dr. Morgan nodded, taking a sip of water. “Is that the only reason you enlisted? To learn how to win battles?”

                Alex smiled sadly and shook his head. “I guess a small part of me still wanted his acceptance despite everything he put me through. If I did what he wanted, followed in his footsteps, maybe he’d finally…”

                “Love you?” the other man supplied.

                “Pretty stupid, right?”

                “No, Alex, wanting your Father’s love and acceptance was not stupid. Despite the man he was, he was the only parent you had at the time.”                 “Doesn’t matter because I never got it anyway,” Alex shrugged. “Plus, the military wasn’t as beneficial as I had thought.”

                “How so?” Dr. Morgan asked.

                “When I finished basic training, we got sent to the Middle East almost right after. They moved us around a lot and I was lucky enough to show my skills in codebreaking. I was a pretty good hacker.”

                “That surprises me and doesn’t at the same time,” Dr. Morgan remarked as Alex smiled.

                “I was really good at it and got assigned under Major Hughes. It wasn’t all behind a desk, though,” he said, reaching down to pat his leg. “We’d get assigned to patrol sometimes, whether with evacuations, fixing water supplies around the region, getting ammunition to other troops who were maintaining strongholds. But things were okay. It was easy to push my past in the back of my mind when I wasn’t facing it every day.”

                “That changed?”

                “My brother Jamie and his unit stopped off at our base for a bit of R&R,” Alex said and shook his head. “He came up to me while all of us were scattered in the mess hall, swung his arm around my shoulders and asked how his homosexual baby brother was?”

                “I’m assuming you weren’t out?”

                “No,” he sighed. “It’s still a very big stigma, homosexuality in the military. After his outburst, suddenly the friends you had weren’t your friends anymore. Everyone distanced themselves as if my being gay was catching. One day, I sat down in the mess hall and the guys closest to me got up and changed seats. I was just so fed up with everything, I walked over and coughed on them all. Told them now they were gay too.”

                “Alex,” Dr. Morgan started, trying to keep his smile hidden.

                “I got the crap beaten out of me but it was worth it. Just like kissing Michael goodbye on the street in front of my house and my Father was worth it too. You don’t get too many chances like that in life. Wanted to take them.”

                “Did things calm down?”

                “I spent a week in the infirmary because of that day. When I got out, the taunts were still there. I slept with one eye open, always had my back to the wall. Things I already knew how to do. Then one day, we got pinned on an ammo supply run. We all worked together and managed to save ourselves and suddenly, things were different again. Guys were patting me on the back, sitting with me at mess hall. No one ever apologized. They all just pretended nothing happened and a part of me wanted to lash out at them but I was so tired by then. I was tired of everything so I let it go. A year later, my leg was blown off so everything else kind of paled in comparison by that point. They gave me a medal and all those guys loved me even more. Going through a year of painful rehabilitation silenced all that other noise.”

                “You survived,” Dr. Morgan interjected. “I’m going to tell you something now and I would like for you to listen.”

                Alex nodded as he sank back in his seat.

                “Your Father has passed. He can’t hurt you anymore,” he began. “You are no longer in the military. Your enlistment has ended and your papers have been signed. Your fellow soldiers can’t hurt you anymore either. You’re not weak. You’re not spineless. You’re Alex Manes, a decorated war hero.”

                Alex looked down as tears began to well his eyes once more.

                “You survived your childhood. You survived war and your disability. You survived your Father,” he said as Alex let his tears fall. “You’ve never been weak, Alex. You’re incredibly strong. Your resilience is admirable. You just need to learn how to trust again.”

                Opening his eyes, he tilted his gaze up to the other man.

                “You trusted your Mother and she abandoned you as a child. She may have had her reasons and those reasons may have been justified but it does not negate from the fact that you were abandoned and left in the care of a man whose every act against you was shameful,” Dr. Morgan exclaimed as Alex took a shaky breath. “You trusted your best friend and he turned away from you when you needed him most. Your friendship may be repaired now but again, the trust was broken. The soldiers you lived and fought by for several years, the men you entrusted your life with, betrayed that sacred, unwritten vow between soldiers and casted you out for your preferences.”

                Alex leaned forward, pressing his elbows on his knees as he let the words wash over him.

                “You thought you and Michael were working your way back together and he chose your friend instead. Yes, you had ended things first. Yes, he may not have owed you anything per say. Yes, your friend certainly did not require your permission. That does not mean you weren’t hurt or betrayed.”

                “But I’m not perfect either,” Alex cut in. “How many mistakes have I made? How many fears have I let control me or dictate my life?”

                “Yes, Alex. None of us are perfect and I appreciate that you do not wish to see yourself as a victim. That’s commendable,” Dr. Morgan exclaimed. “But you have experienced many instances where your trust was given and that trust was shattered. To be able to move on, to be able to heal from wounds that have cut incredibly deep, you need to start by learning to trust again.”

                “How?” Alex asked, his voice breaking on the word.

                “Do you believe Michael when he says he loves you?”

                “Yes,” Alex breathed out.

                “When he says he wants to build a life with you, to spend the rest of his life by your side, do you believe him?”

                “Yes.”

                “Do you believe he has the power to hurt you?”

                “Yes,” Alex whispered.

                “Do you think he will?”

                “Not intentionally.”

                “But that fear is there, yes? The fear that Michael will walk away from you. That one day he will wake up and decide you weren’t worth all the trouble after all. Those are some of the fears imbedded in your mind, correct?”

                   Alex nodded solemnly at his words. “He’s the only person I opened my heart to and my Father destroyed it all. Why would Michael ever stay? After everything, all the pain I’m connected with?”

                “He stays because he loves you and your Father is _gone_ ,” Dr. Morgan said, raising his brow in challenge. “He’s gone and he can no longer hurt you or those that you love. You’ve forgiven your friends for their betrayals, Alex. You’ve started a relationship with your Mother. You’ve allowed Michael to see how much you love him and want to build a life with him. How can you start to fully trust again? By forgiving _yourself_.”

                Alex shut his eyes, his gentle sobs encompassing the room.

                “Nothing that has happened to you or to those you love have been your fault. Your Father’s choices, your Mother’s, Kyle’s, your brothers, Michael’s, Maria’s, all those choices that they have made have not been because of any fault on your end. Only with Michael, I would agree that there was miscommunication. That you were two wounded men who loved each other deeply and could never figure it out until you finally did,” Dr. Morgan exclaimed. “But the other choices, everyone else, you are not to blame, Alex. Your Father’s actions towards you and others, nothing you could have done would have brought kindness to his soul. His actions are his and his alone. You are not wrong for being gay. You are not at fault for the abuse your Father put you through and the harm he brought unto others. You need to stop carrying the weight of that blame on your shoulders and forgive yourself.”

                Alex took a deep breath to ease the tears from falling but kept his eyes closed.

                “That voice inside your head, your Father’s voice, you need to let it go and silence those words,” Dr. Morgan said, looking on in sympathy. “Forgive yourself, Alex, because there’s nothing you need to forgive.”

                Snapping his eyes open, he stared up at the older man for several seconds before leaning back on the couch and wiping his eyes.

                “How do I silence his voice?” he finally asked.

                “Well,” Dr. Morgan started, allowing a crooked smile on his lips. “What would be the biggest fuck you to the man than allowing yourself to be happy?”

                A laugh startled out of Alex, making the older man chuckle.

                “Not very professional, was it?”

                “No, I needed to hear that,” Alex said as he wiped the rest of his tears away.

                “The memories and experiences you carry, nothing can ever fully heal those wounds. I can prescribe you medication if you want them. Sleeping pills, anxiety meds. But you can learn how to live with those painful memories without medication by releasing the blame you harbour and letting your heart fall open to love and trust and comfort. You deserve happiness, son. Let yourself feel it.”

                They stared at one another for several beats before Alex looked up at the clock overhead.

                “Pretty deep session,” he chuckled, breaking the tense mood in the room.

                “I will consider it a job well done if anything I said resonates with you and has a positive effect on your life. Do you think it has?”

                The smile on Alex’s face slowly widened.

 

                ********

 

                “Hey boy, how’s it going tonight?” Michael asked, petting Indy’s neck as they walked around the pen.

                The horse neighed loudly and craned his neck away.

                “I know you miss him, buddy. I miss him too,” he sighed, staring out at the setting sun. “You have no idea how much.”

                Indy stared at him before spinning around, using his hind legs to kick the splattered mud at Michael who stumbled backwards. The sound of laughter made him look over to see Paul standing at the gate, shaking his head. Drenched from head to toe, Michael turned towards the horse and glared.

                “Really, Indy? Three days with Alex and suddenly he’s your best bud? You love him more than me?”

                Michael could have sworn the horse narrowed his own gaze at him.

                “Yeah, I know. I love him too,” he grumbled, turning towards Paul. “Think you can find the time between laughs to get him locked up?”

                Paul continued laughing as he led Indy to the barn. Turning towards the house, Michael started trudging forward when his cell vibrated in his jeans. Wiping his hand clean, he reached for the phone and answered on the last ring, his mood instantly lifted.

                “Hey Private, I was starting to think you weren’t going to call tonight.”

                _“Sorry it got a bit late. My session ran long.”_

                “That’s alright. I’m just glad to hear your voice now.”

                _“Can you Skype?”_

“Give me a few minutes to wipe the mud off. Indy thought it was cute to kick a bunch of crap at me.”

                _“Take your time. I’ll wait.”_

                Smiling at the words, he gave a quick goodbye and rushed inside the house. Taking the quickest shower he’d ever had, he dried his body and slipped on a pair of boxers. Grabbing his laptop, he settled in his bed against the headboard, switching on his Skype. When Alex’s face came on screen, Michael felt the fist around his heart begin uncurling.

                “Hi Private.”

                “Are you ever planning on calling me Captain?” Alex asked, settling onto his own bed through the screen.

                “Not in this lifetime,” Michael grinned, resting a hand over his chest.

                “How’s Liz?”

                “Ready to pop like a balloon,” he snorted. “Her food cravings keep getting weirder too. We all had lunch earlier and she was stuffing her face with anchovies dipped in this weird caramel hot sauce mix.”

                Alex chuckled, the gentle sound making Michael’s smile soften as he reached out with his hand to touch the face on the screen. Quickly sobering, Alex held his gaze for several seconds before Michael pulled his hand back.

                “How was the session?”

                “It was good, I think. I really like Dr. Morgan.”

                “You like him,” Michael repeated, hating the jealous twist he felt in his gut. “You never did send me a photo of the guy.”

                “Why does it matter what he looks like?”

                “Want to make sure he looks respectable,” Michael lied.

                Alex watched him for a moment before grabbing his phone. “Check the text I just sent.”

                Opening the message, his eyes bugged out at the chiseled abs and toned arms.

                “That’s your therapist?” he snapped. “Why do you have a half naked picture of him?”

                “You’re too easy sometimes,” Alex chuckled fondly. “Take a look now.”

                Breathing heavily, Michael switched to the second message and immediately calmed, staring at a photo of an older man with glasses, dressed in a cardigan.

                “That wasn’t funny,” he mumbled, tossing his phone on the mattress.

                “I’m not sorry, if I’m being honest,” Alex laughed. “I guess I love seeing that side of you.”

                “The crazy jealous, possessive side?” Michael snorted.

                “Yes,” Alex said, the simple answer making Michael’s anger melt away.

                “I don’t like the thought of anything messing with us,” he shrugged.

                “Nothing will. Not anymore,” Alex said and they shared a smile.

                “So, how was the session with Dr. Not So Goodbody?”

                “It was good,” Alex chuckled. “We talked a lot today. Touched on a lot of my fears.”

                “Can you talk to me about them?” Michael ventured quietly.

                “Fear of abandonment,” Alex started, sighing through the screen. “Fear of not being accepted, fear of consequences. Learning to trust again.”

                “Do you trust me?” Michael asked after a beat of silence.

                “I do,” Alex said, smiling at the look of relief that passed over Michael’s face. “But sometimes I wonder. Why did you stick around for as long as you have?”

                “I love you,” Michael said as if the three simple words answered everything.

                “I love you too,” he whispered, smiling again when Michael’s eyes sparkled. “I don’t tell you that enough. I’m sorry. That’s another thing I’m working on.”

                “You don’t have to tell me every minute of every day. Every other minute, I can live with.”

                The words brought another laugh out of Alex, letting Michael’s gaze grow tender.

                “But the session was good?”

                “It was good, I promise,” he assured. “In fact, it reminded me of all the reasons you matter to me.”

                “Do tell,” Michael grinned.

                “Kind of got me all hot and bothered after too,” Alex said as Michael groaned softly, pressing his head back against the pillows.

                “I wish you were here right now. So much I want to do with you. So much I want to do _to_ you,” he wiggled his brows, making Alex shake his head fondly.

                “Would we be kissing now?” he asked instead.

                “I’d kiss every inch of you, sweetheart,” Michael smiled. “Wouldn’t let you out of bed for hours, days.”

                “What else would you do?” Alex asked, leaning in closer to the screen. “Would you press against me, litter my skin with marks so everyone would see?”

                “Yes,” Michael whispered, his eyes glistening as a warmth filled his body.

                Alex watched him with a mischievous smile before moving back. “Well, I should go.”

                Michael stammered as he sat up, blinking himself out of his daze. “What? Why!”

                “I have a big day at work tomorrow. Need to get some sleep.”

                “What about Mike Jr. who’s wide awake?” Michael whined.

                “I’m sure your hand can handle it. After all, your hand was your best friend the last two years, right?” Alex grinned.

                Michael whined his name again. “You’re really going to leave me like this?”

                “Think of it as payback for yesterday,” Alex replied.

                Michael frowned for a moment before realization dawned and he fell back against his pillows with a laugh.

                “You said you were bored! I wanted to wake you up!” he quickly defended.

                “I was in a board meeting, Michael,” Alex deadpanned. “My phone buzzed, I made the mistake of grabbing my water at the same time as looking at my screen and Mike Jr. made me spit the water all over the damn table.”

                Michael continued laughing as Alex huffed.

                “It’s not funny!” he snapped. “I was choking on the water, dropped my phone. My boss came over to help, grabbed my phone for me and I made this shrieking noise that made everyone just stare at me like I’d gone insane. It was humiliating!”

                “I’m sorry,” Michael wheezed out between laughs.

                “Yeah, I can hear the remorse in your voice,” Alex shook his head.

                “Oh come on, admit it! Pretty funny,” Michael grinned but when Alex narrowed his gaze, he held his hands up I surrender. “Alright, I’m sorry. I really am. I was just missing you and thinking of you like I do all the damn time. Don’t be mad.”

                Alex sighed, unable to hide the smile that was forming. “I guess you’re forgiven.”

                “Great! Can we get back to happy hour now?”

                “Keep dreaming, Guerin,” Alex winked, laughing at the childish whine he heard through the screen. “Picture Max in sexy, lacy lingerie.”

                “What the hell!” Michael shouted, his face twisting in disgust. “Mood killer.”

                Alex chuckled quietly before Dr. Morgan’s words came flooding back.

                “I forgive you, Michael.”

                “You liked the picture, you just won’t admit it.”

                “No,” Alex shook his head. “I mean, about Maria.”

                Michael quickly sobered as he sat up in bed, dragging the laptop closer on his thighs. “What brought that up?”

                “You and I kind of discussed it but maybe not really,” Alex started. “I know we weren’t together then and you didn’t really owe me anything but I need the words to be out there. I forgive you.”

                Taking a shaky breath, Michael ran a hand through his curls and nodded. “Thank you.”

                “Do you forgive me?”

                “For what?” Michael frowned.

                “For everything,” Alex smiled, his sadness bleeding through his words. “For leaving you behind when I enlisted. I mean, we weren’t really together but I should have made a promise to you back then and I didn’t. It was easier to believe that we were over than fighting for what we had.”

                “Alex, it’s okay. I pushed you away first back then.”

                “But that’s not all,” he said, his voice growing quiet. “Do you forgive me for walking away at the drive in? For letting my fears control me for so long?”

                “Alex, look at me, please,” Michael pleaded, his words making the other man meet his gaze through the screen. “You and I have hurt each other a lot. That’s over now.”

                “But do you forgive me?” Alex pressed.

                “Of course I forgive you!” he exclaimed. “Whatever hurt I’ve felt over the years, it never came close to tipping the scales away from all the love I had.”

                “You’re a romantic, Michael,” Alex smiled before his eyes began to glisten. “Do you forgive me for what happened in the shed that day? For Caulfield?”

                “Alex, none of that was your fault. I know I said you were like him that day outside my trailer when you talked me back from the edge and I’ll hate myself for ever saying that but I never believed it or blamed you for your Father’s actions. You’re not him, Alex. Not in my eyes and not in the mirror when you look at your reflection. You’re _not_ him.”

                Rubbing his tired eyes, Alex sighed as he leaned away from the screen.

                “My Psychiatrist thinks I need to forgive myself first. That whatever fractured trust issues I have, it starts from the inside and then I can heal with everything else.”

                “He’s not wrong,” Michael nodded. “You carry the weight of everyone’s mistakes on your own shoulders, turn it inwards and blame yourself. I wish you could see yourself the way I do.”

                Smiling softly, Alex leaned forward again. “I’m a work in progress. I’ll get there, I promise.”

                They shared a smile for several beats before Michael swallowed. “It’s getting late. We both have busy days tomorrow.”

                “Time to say goodnight.”

                “Can you keep the screen on for a while?” Michael suddenly asked. “I want to watch you sleep.”

                “I can’t tell if that’s creepy or romantic,” Alex chuckled.

                “We’ll go with romantic,” Michael said, reaching his hand towards the screen to touch Alex’s face. “Miss you.”

                “I miss you too, Michael.”

                They shut off their lights and lowered themselves onto their beds, pulling the blankets to cover their bodies. Laying on their sides, they stared at one another through the screen as darkness engulfed them.

                “Go to sleep,” Michael whispered. “I’ll hold you soon, right?”

                “I promise,” Alex said, closing his eyes. “Oh, and Michael? Happy anniversary.”

                A bright smile spread across Michael’s face as he watched Alex succumb to sleep.


	13. THIRTEEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. Was on a mini Summer vacation. This is the last chapter. Thanks so much for reading and for all the wonderful comments :)

*****

 

                Leaning back against the couch cushions, Michael lowered his laptop on his legs and opened his Skype. After Alex had cancelled their session two nights ago and stayed radio silent since then, Michael was excited and nervous to finally see his boyfriend’s face. With his fingers hovering over his keyboard, he glanced down at his phone as the seconds ticked by. When five minutes became ten and Alex still hadn’t dialed, he grabbed his cell when a text came through.

                **Something came up. Sorry to cancel again. I’ll call you tomorrow!**

                Tossing the laptop on the seat beside him, he let his fingers move across the phone screen, typing out his own reply.

**Second time you’ve cancelled. Barely spoken this week. Making me worry, Private.**

                When no immediate answer came through, he sighed and tilted his head back, reminding himself of all the reasons Alex was two thousand miles away. As he kept repeating the words to himself over and over, the door burst open and Isobel sauntered through, stopping at his feet with her arms crossed over her chest.

                “What’s with the look?” she asked when he glanced up at her.

                “Bad day,” he shrugged, getting to his feet and moving past her to the kitchen.

                “I texted you about dinner earlier. Why didn’t you reply?”

                “I was supposed to Skype with Alex tonight,” he said, grabbing a beer and taking a large sip. “He cancelled. Sounded busy.”

                Isobel bit the teasing comment she wanted to give and leaned forward on the counter.

                “Stop having doubts,” she said, narrowing her gaze as he rolled his eyes and looked away.

                When he continued nursing his beer instead of answering, she moved towards him and yanked the bottle away.

                “You’re coming with me to dinner.”

                “Isobel, I’m not in the mood. Warranted or not, I’m pissed off and miserable. Let me stew.”

                “Not happening, Michael! Let’s go.”

                She tugged on his arm with a strength he still couldn’t understand and dragged him to the cars outside. Before she could reach for the passenger door and push him in, he pulled himself free and walked to his truck.

                “Bringing my own ride so I can leave whenever I want,” he said, giving her a fake smile.

                Rolling her eyes, she tossed her perfect hair over her shoulders and climbed behind the wheel. As they made their way towards town, she glanced in her rear mirror every few seconds to make sure he was there. When they finally parked and walked inside the restaurant, Isobel hurried ahead and took her seat beside Maria, greeting her girlfriend with a sweet kiss. Michael groaned as he took in the scene before him, three happy couples seated around the table, smiling up at him.

                “Just kill me now,” he muttered, taking the seat beside Isobel.

                “Isn’t this better than sulking at home by yourself?” she asked.

                He tossed her a half hearted glare before sinking back in his seat. Fishing his phone from his pocket, he glanced at his screen but his hopeful mood quickly soured when he saw his text was still unread.

                “Michael.”

                Looking up from his screen, he turned towards Isobel who was watching him with her brow raised in worry. He glanced through the rest of the table, Maria engaged in conversation with Max and Liz while Kyle and Jenna sat with their heads bowed together, whispering and laughing in private. The seat beside Michael sat empty.

                “Michael,” she tried again. “I’m sure he really was busy. Stop thinking worst case scenario.”

                “When it comes to Alex, all I can do is think worst case scenario,” he muttered, glancing back at the empty seat beside him again. “It’s been almost two months and he’s still there.”

                “But you know why he’s there,” she reminded him. “He’s working through everything, Michael. He told you he loved you. He promised he was coming back. It’s different from before. What he’s doing now is important.”

                “I know it is,” he said, giving her a dry look. “It still sucks not having him around.”

                “I know,” she said, rubbing his arm in comfort. “He just needs some more time. The two of you have waited this long.”

                “Yeah,” he nodded, but the knot in his stomach continued twisting. “You know what? I’m tired and not the best company right now.”

                “You don’t have to do that. Stay,” she pleaded but he rose to his feet and smiled down at her.

                “I can’t look at that empty chair beside me anymore.”

                Giving the table a half wave, he pushed away from the group and made his way outside. Climbing back into his truck, he grabbed his phone and opened his messages. The text he had sent to Alex had still gone unanswered. Rubbing his cheeks with a rough hand, he pulled out of the lot and barreled down the road, not realizing his destination until he was standing outside the liquor store, opening the door to walk in. Grabbing the tallest bottle of vodka from the shelf, he made his purchase and drove the rest of the way home. The stables were quiet, a faint light shining from the attic overhead where Paul was busy with his nightly reports. Grabbing his phone from his pocket, he stared at the messages and saw the notifications were blank.

Feeling a sudden wave of anger, he slammed the door behind him and made his way towards the couch, not bothering to walk the rest of the way upstairs. Tossing his jacket and shoes to the side, he switched on the television, oblivious to the program that was playing in the background. Leaning back against the cushions, he ripped open the lid and took a large gulp from the bottle. Scoffing bitterly, he took another gulp and squeezed his eyes shut as the liquid burned his throat going down.

                By the time he was two thirds into the bottle, he sat with a heavy buzz as he fished the phone from his pocket with wobbly fingers. Pulling the messages open again, he stared at the screen that showed zero activity. When blinking became too hard, he found Alex’s name in the contacts and dialed before shutting his eyes and leaning his head back against the seat. The phone rang four times before Alex’s voice asked him to leave a message.

                “I hate your voice!” Michael drunkenly spoke but instantly shook his head. “No, baby, I don’t hate your voice. I love your voice. It does things to me.”

                Sighing heavily, he ran a hand through his hair but kept his eyes closed.

                “Where are you, Alex?” he spoke into the phone, pausing only to burp. “We were at dinner tonight and everyone was sitting there and everyone was acting all cute and cuddly and the chair beside me was empty. It was empty, Alex.”

                He pulled the phone back to take another gulp from the bottle.

                “I miss you. Don’t you miss me?” he whined, gripping the phone tightly in his hand. “You’re still there and you keep telling me you’ll be back but you won’t say when. I want to believe you. I do believe you. Do I believe you?”

                He stared at the bottle, tilting it over to find it empty.

                “I think I’m drunk,” he said before a laugh bubbled from his chest. “I haven’t drank in two years, Alex. Maybe a beer here, a beer there but no heavy drinking anymore. I wanted to be better. For me. For you. I know that’s what you’re doing too but I want you here with me. Why won’t you come home?”

                Sinking further on the cushions, he let his hand travel down his chest, playing with the hem of his shirt.

                “I miss the way you smell, Alex,” he breathed into the phone. “I miss the way you feel. I miss the way you taste. I miss…”

                The phone beeped signalling the end of the message.

                “…you.”

                Sighing softly, he dropped his cell on the ground and let the empty bottle roll away. Lowering himself onto the cushions, he turned over and curled against the back of the couch.

 

               ********

                Feeling the pounding headache at his temple, Michael opened his eyes and groaned at the brightness shining through the window beside him. Rubbing the tiredness from his eyes, he slowly sat up on and glanced around him. When his eyes caught sight of the empty bottle pressed up against the wall at the end of the room, last night came back to him in waves. Quickly reaching for his phone, he switched to his messages and groaned when he saw no notifications. Quickly dialing, Michael rose to his feet and made his way towards the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water and chugging it down before the voicemail prompt sounded.

                “Alex! It’s me. Listen, I’m sorry. I don’t remember much of last night. I know I got drunk, really drunk,” he rambled before clearing his throat. “Could you please just ignore whatever I left on your voicemail. It was me being stupid and drunk and missing you. Just ignore it. Give me a call.”

                Hanging up, he tossed his phone on the counter and angrily ran a hand through his hair. Knowing how busy his day was scheduled, he made his way upstairs to the shower, ignoring the growing tightness in his chest. When he emerged after thirty minutes and changed, the scalding hot water had done little to alleviate the pounding in his head. Grabbing his phone the second he reached the kitchen, his free hand clenched into a fist on the counter when he saw no messages. Losing the little appetite he had left, he slipped on his boots and stormed through the doors, desperate for any sort of distraction. Pounding on the door over an hour later, he pushed past a startled Max the moment his brother swung it open.

                “Good morning to you too,” Max muttered, closing the door and following Michael to the kitchen.

                Seeing Liz seated behind the counter with a bright smile took away some of his agitation. Swallowing the bitterness in his throat, he forced a small smile and lowered the box of sweets on the counter beside her.

                “Are these from Mario’s?” she squealed, ripping the lid off to stare at the different cakes inside. “Thank you!”

                Max gave him a smile and reached for a piece but jumped back when Liz slapped his hand away.

                “These are for me. I’m the one about to pop like a balloon. All you did was get me pregnant!” she snapped.

                Michael chuckled softly under his breath, his sour mood lifting slightly as he watched them banter for a minute. When she was sure Max would no longer reach for the pastries, she grabbed the largest piece and took a bite, moaning in ecstasy.

                “I swear, this is better than sex,” she said, her eyes rolling back in her head as she savored every chew before swallowing.

                “Well, yeah, because you got Max sexing you up,” Michael snorted, ignoring the narrowed gaze his brother tossed him. “Makes sense that food’s better than him.”

                “Hey!”

                Both ignored Max as Liz giggled around the pastry, a line of chocolate covering the skin above her lip.

                “Does that mean Alex is always satisfied?” she teased.

                “Do I want to hear this?” Max grumbled.

                “I know how to please him,” Michael grinned.

                He shared another laugh with Liz until reality came crashing back down on him. Liz and Max exchanged glances before she lowered the pastry and tilted her head.

                “Everything okay?”

                “Yeah, it’s fine,” he shook his head.

                “Michael,” Liz started, her tone making him sigh and lean against the counter.

                “We haven’t really talked all week. He’s been busy, had to cancel Skype a couple times.”

                “Is that why you were upset last night?” she asked.

                “Yeah,” he nodded, the corners of his lips ticking up in a smile that never reached his eyes. “I kind of got drunk last night. Called him. I left him a voicemail. I don’t remember much but I think I said some stupid things.”

                “Stupid how?” she frowned.

                “Like I miss him and why won’t he come home?” he shrugged, his voice growing quiet. “Called him again this morning but no reply.”

                “I’m sure he’s just busy,” Max assured him.

                “Michael, he isn’t blowing you off or whatever other worst case scenario that’s playing through your head right now,” she said before suddenly grabbing the counter, her face squeezing in pain.

                “Liz!” Max rushed to her side, reaching out to pull her against him.

                She took a few deep breaths before easing back in her seat. “False alarm. Just gas pains. I should have stayed away from that burrito last night.”

                “Which one?” Max mumbled.

                “What?” she demanded, her face snapping towards him.

                “Nothing, babe. I’m just glad you’re okay,” he corrected.

                Liz gave him a long, hard stare before turning back to Michael who was watching them in amusement.

                “I want this,” he said, gesturing to them. “What the two of you have, I want this for me and Alex.”

                “You want to make Alex pregnant?” Liz asked, a grin forming on her lips. “Well, you are from outer space. Who knows what you can make happen?”

                “No!” he exclaimed, shaking his head at the ridiculousness as Max wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “I mean, the domestic crap between the two of you.”

                “That’s one way to describe it,” Max chuckled.

                Michael glared in his direction and he held his hands up in surrender. Sighing heavily, he ran a hand through his hair and met her gaze again.

                “It’s never been easy between us. Me and him,” he started. “There’s always been something. His dad, his fears, my fears, his mistakes, _my_ mistakes. Something always held us back and I thought we were getting somewhere. Even though he went back to New York, he went so he could work things out and I can’t be mad at him for that, you know? I took two years to do all that while he was off at war again. I just hate this feeling.”

                “What feeling?” she pressed.

                “That he has one foot in and one foot out,” he admitted, exhaling harshly. “I know I was the one who screwed up last time. I gave him every excuse not to want me anymore but we got somewhere when he came back. He came back.”

                “He did and he will again,” she exclaimed.

                “I just miss him. I hate the distance,” he said and smiled. “I think I’m going to fly over there.”

                “To New York?” Max asked, his brows rising to his hairline. “But the baby’s due in a few days.”

                “I’ll be back for that. I just, I need to go and see him. I don’t like this feeling.”

                Liz reached out to take his hand, offering him a gentle smile. “We understand, Michael. If anything, it sounds super romantic.”

                “Can we not mention romance and my brother in the same sentence?” Max whined but a single glare from Liz silenced him.

                “Just make sure you come back with him,” she grinned, pulling back to reach for her pastry again. “I’d like you both to be there when this guy finally decides to make an appearance.”

                His smile widened by a fraction as he turned to Max. “Can you check on the ranch while I’m gone? It’ll only be a few days and Paul should be able to manage but just in case?”

                “Don’t worry about it. Go get your man!”

                “Just stop,” Michael muttered, shaking his head as he turned away but glanced back at them from the doorway. “Don’t hatch that thing until I’m back! Hopefully with Alex.”

                “Hatch?” Liz asked, a look of horror filling her face. “This baby is half alien. Will it look human?”

                Laughing at the new argument that rose from his words, he closed the door and made his way back to his truck outside just as his phone buzzed in his pocket. Quickly scrambling to fetch it, he swiped open the screen and sighed when he saw a text from Max cursing him out. Tossing the phone on the bench beside him, he pulled away from the house and made his way towards town, eager to finish up his errands before he could head back to the ranch and book his ticket.

  
                ********

                Late afternoon hit, the sun shining over the desert when Michael made his way towards the ranch. The confidence he felt after leaving Liz and Max had slowly dwindled away when another text to Alex was left unanswered. By the time he pulled off the main road and parked his truck at the end of the driveway, the anxiety from that morning had found permanent residence inside him. Rubbing his tired eyes, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the small box he carried with him always. Lifting the lid, he took a moment to stare at the silver wedding band and all the promises that came with it. Desperate to keep his emotions at bay, he stuffed the box back in his pocket and slowly climbed out of the truck, letting the door fall shut in muted silence. Leaving his purchases behind, he looked away from the brightness overhead and made his way towards the house.

                “Hi.”

                Stopping dead in his tracks, Michael snapped his head up at the voice. His breath caught when he saw Alex sitting on the steps several feet away, dressed in the black jeans Michael loved and a dark green flannel that tugged in all the right places. The soldier was smiling brightly and Michael felt himself thinking of the sun, knowing the rays were no match for the brightness beaming down at him from the porch. When he made no effort to move forward, a look of shock still planted on his face, Alex slowly lost his smile and used the railing to push himself to his feet.

                “Michael? What’s wrong?”

                “You’re here,” he said, finally finding his voice again.

                “Yeah, I am,” Alex nodded, confusion filling his face. “Are you not happy to see me?”

                “Why are you here?” Michael asked and quickly backtracked at the wounded look in Alex’s eyes. “Are you breaking up with me?”

                “What? No!” Alex exclaimed, moving down the steps and stopping. “Why would you think that?”

                “We haven’t talked all week,” Michael said, swallowing the lump in his throat. “I called you last night, drunk. You never got back to me or this morning.”

                “I heard your voicemail, Michael. It was kind of sweet,” Alex said, a small smile forming on his lips. “I’m sorry I made you worry. I wanted to surprise you.”

                Michael looked over Alex’s shoulder and finally noticed the luggage tucked away. Taking a shaky breath, he changed his footing as he felt the tears he’d been holding start to wet his eyes.

                “You’re not breaking up with me then?”

                “No,” Alex said, his shoulders dropping as he took another step forward. “Michael, I know being apart the past two months sucked. They were as hard for me as they were for you but it was important. Me seeing a therapist, being able to _speak_ with a therapist was important. I was able to voice so many fears that have been plaguing me most of my life, always keeping me away from what I wanted, from the happiness I thought I didn’t deserve. From _you_.”

                Michael simply watched him, knowing his tears were close to falling.

                “I made a lot of progress,” Alex said, taking another step forward. “I’ll never be perfectly okay. Too much damage has happened but I’m better now, Michael. I’ve made peace with a lot of things. I can let myself be happy, finally.”

                He shrugged and sniffled, his own tears threatening to fall.

                “I want everything with you,” Alex continued and took another step. “I want to love you and let you love me. This home and this life that you’ve built, I want to share it.”

                Moving even closer, he stopped when he was only a couple feet away, the closeness making Michael take a sharp breath.

                “I want to grow old with you. I want to stumble through fatherhood with you. I want to protect you and hold you and keep you safe.”

                Reaching out, Alex gently placed his hands over Michael’s cheeks, cupping his face.

                “I’m sorry it’s taken me this long but I’m here, Michael. If you’ll have me, I’m here to stay.”

                Michael hesitated for a single heart stopping moment, staring into Alex’s eyes until the fog finally cleared away. Making a noise he’d later swear he hadn’t made, he threw his arms out and pulled Alex tight against him. Fitting his face against Alex’s neck, he pressed in even closer and breathed the other man in, tears slipping down his cheeks. Alex let his arms wrap around Michael’s body, one over his shoulders, the fingers tangling in the untamed curls while his other hand pulled against Michael’s waist, tucking them against each other without an ounce of space between them.

                They stood together, locked in each other’s arms, oblivious to the world around them. When Michael finally tilted his head, Alex leaned back to capture his lips, both groaning from the kiss after weeks of distance. Pulling away to catch his breath, Alex slid both hands into the curls he loved as Michael let his lips travel down his neck, leaving small bruises as he went.

                “Not here,” Alex whimpered, his words making Michael press their foreheads together and take a deep breath. “I love you.”

                “I love you too,” he said before his signature smirk filled his face again. “Want me to show you how much?”

                Unable to stop the laugh that erupted from his chest, Alex let Michael twine their fingers together as they made their way inside. With the door shut behind them, he flipped Alex over and walked him backwards to the couch, pressing him down on to the cushions before climbing on top, their bodies lined together in a single, long press.

                “I’ve missed you so much,” Michael whispered, letting his teeth graze over Alex’s neck before slotting their mouths together again, his tongue seeking entrance.

                Their bodies moved together like a sensual dance, neither able to get as close as they wanted even with the space between them nonexistent. As his hands traveled to the buttons on Alex’s shirt, his phone began to vibrate between them.

                “Should you get that?” Alex panted, moaning softly when Michael pressed even closer.

                “I don’t care if the damn world is ending,” he growled, sliding his hands beneath the undershirt Alex was wearing and sighing when he found warm skin.

                His cell started vibrating again and Alex used every bit of strength to push Michael back. Rolling his eyes in frustration, Michael leaned back on his knees, straddling Alex’s thighs as he fished the phone from his pocket.

                “What?!” he growled, his free hand still caressing Alex’s skin before his whole demeanor changed. “Right now? Yeah, okay.”

                Hanging up, he stared down at Alex with a laugh.

                “Rain check? Liz just went into labor.”

                The wide smile on Alex’s face made Michael press another hard kiss against his lips before they rose from the couch and rushed outside. The sound of Liz screaming echoed through the hallways when they made their way to the delivery room thirty minutes later. Isobel was the first to spot them, her smile spreading when she took in Alex walking next to Michael hand in hand.

                “Look who decided to come home just in time,” she grinned, patting his shoulder as they moved towards the doorway.

                She shared a look with Michael and her gaze softened when he flushed and pulled Alex against him, wrapping one arm around his waist from behind. Peering into the room, they watched as Liz shouted in Spanish while Max tried calming her from the side. Maria stood arm in arm with Arturo and Rosa, watching the squabbling couple with laughter. With her legs lifted, her knees bent and the sheet draped over her lower body, she released a loud cry as Kyle moved to stand in front.

                “You’re doing really great, Liz. Just keep breathing.”

                Liz lifted her head to narrow her eyes at Kyle. “As much as I love you, you’re my ex-boyfriend who I now share a sister with. Get away from down there!”

                Kyle raised his hands and sheepishly moved out of the room, smiling when he noticed Alex. Tugging him out of Michael’s arms, he gave his friend a bone crushing hug before stepping away.

                “You here to stay?” he asked and his smile grew when Alex nodded. “Perfect timing, then.”

                When he moved over to the side, Liz rolled her head and gasped when she saw them. Releasing the deathly grip she had on Max, she reached out towards Alex and whimpered. Laughing gently, he moved into the room and gave her family a quick smile before taking her hand.

                “You’re doing great,” he said, his words making her smile through the sweat coating her face.

                “I’m so glad you’re here,” she cried, looking over and holding her other hand out to Maria.

                Giving Max a look in apology, Maria moved around him to take Liz’s hand. She and Alex looked up at one another, sharing a sweet smile before they both turned back to Liz.

                “You ready, Mama?” Maria asked and Liz nodded.

                The Doctor took her seat on the stool between Liz’s open legs and looked up with a smile of encouragement.

                “You’re dilated fully, Liz. I need you to start pushing.”

                “Do you want us gone?” Alex asked but she gripped their hands tighter, leaving Max standing around helpless as Arturo and Rosa made their way to the others outside.

                “You did this to me so stand over there and watch the kid come out!” Liz growled.

                Max rushed over to her open legs, peering over the Doctor’s shoulders and doing his best to school his horrified expression.

                “Alright, Liz. Give me a big push!” the Doctor instructed.

                Tightening her grip on their hands even more, Liz shouted as she followed the directions.

                “That’s good. I need you to take a deep breath and push again.”

                She shouted in Spanish but gave another push.

                “You’re doing so good,” Maria cried as she and Alex locked eyes again.

                “One more, Liz. Give me one more big push.”

                Another curse, another push and Liz fell back against the pillows. Taking a quick breath, she looked up at Max and watched his teary expression when the sudden sound of cries filled the room. Overwhelmed by emotion, Liz let her tears fall as the Doctor lifted the crying baby up and placed him in her arms. Maria and Alex moved away, Max quickly taking her place as they stared down at the screaming bundle in her arms.

                “Hi Mikey,” she cried, lifting her face to accept a sweet kiss from Max.

                “You’re beautiful. Our son is beautiful,” he whispered, kissing her again before they lowered their gazes back down again.

                “Welcome home, Godfather,” Maria said, leaning against Alex as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

                “Thanks, Godmother,” he smiled, pressing a kiss against her head.

                They waited another few moments before making their way outside. Kyle was on the phone with Jenna, speaking in wild animation as Maria fell into Isobel’s embrace. Catching Michael’s eyes, Alex walked forward with a purpose and pulled their bodies flush together. Smiling happily, Michael closed his arms around the other man. They stood wrapped together for several quiet moments until Isobel touched their shoulders to get their attention. They pulled away from one another but kept their hands twined as they followed the others down the hall. Stopping outside the nursery, their group peered through the window as the nurse walked in with baby Mikey, cleaned up and wrapped in a blue blanket and hat. The nurse showed them Mikey from behind the window before lowering him into an empty bassinet.

                “Can we have one?” Alex asked, his voice quiet as he pressed his forehead against the glass, staring at the sleeping babies.

                Michael pushed in beside him, letting one arm wrap around Alex’s waist as he tugged him close.

                “Yeah, we can have one,” he smiled, dropping a kiss to Alex’s shoulder.

                Leaning back slightly, he took in his boyfriend’s shining eyes and awed expression, realizing it wasn’t enough. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the box before lifting his gaze to Isobel’s. Quickly understanding, she gave a silent squeal before moving the others further down the window, giving them a semblance of privacy.

                “Alex,” he said, his gentle plea making the other man face him.

                The love he saw in Alex’s eyes left him breathless. Swallowing his nerves, he looked down to his raised hands. When Alex followed his gaze, he gasped and took a small step back. Both men took a sharp breath before lifting their eyes.

                “I had it all planned out,” Michael started, smiling nervously. “When you didn’t answer my calls, I wanted to fly out to New York. Today, actually. I thought I’d take you somewhere romantic, like the Empire State Building or something.”

                Licking his dry lips, he closed the distance between them again, their eyes never looking away.

                “Originally, I wanted to propose at the house. Light candles and all that sappy stuff,” he said, his face flushing slightly. “Or maybe at the UFO Emporium, where we had our first kiss.”

                Tears began to fill Alex’s eyes again as he watched Michael stumble through his words.

                “But it doesn’t really matter where or when,” he said with a quiet chuckle. “You’re the only home I’ve ever known and the only person I’ve ever truly loved since the day you offered me your shed. We’ve bene through a lot, Alex. Anyone else would have run for the hills and the two of us did. Both of us ran, too afraid to be get hurt again. But we’re here now, both of us.”

                Licking his lips again, he opened the box and watched as Alex dropped his eyes to the ring.

                “It’s your Grandfather’s,” he said, pulling out the silver band and dropping the box on a chair behind him. “Your Mother gave this to me a long time ago, hoping that when I proposed to you, it would be when it finally counted.”

                Exhaling shakily, Alex looked up to meet his gaze again.

                “Marry me,” Michael said, biting his lower lip. “I love you and I want us to be happy. We deserve to be happy, Alex. I don’t want to wait anymore. Marry me. Please?”

                With a strength that left Michael laughing, Alex pushed him hard against the wall and buried himself against him. They stayed wrapped around each other for several long seconds, both breathing the other in.

                “Is that a yes?” Michael ventured.

                “Yes,” Alex whispered, pulling back to kiss him. “My answer will always be yes.”

                Smiling brightly, Michael took the ring and slid it over Alex’s hand. They stared down at the shiny silver for a moment before Alex pulled Michael’s face back towards him, their lips meeting in the middle. Moving in to hug one another again, Michael looked over Alex’s shoulder and gave his sister a wide grin.

                “He said yes!”

                Alex chuckled against his chest before he tilted his face and let his lips rest on Michael’s neck. The others gave them another few seconds of privacy before rushing over and pulling them apart, congratulating them on the engagement. When Max wheeled Liz towards them an hour later, baby Mikey cradled in his mother’s arms, Alex looked back at Michael and smiled without fear for the first time in almost two decades.

                They stayed for another hour, taking their turns holding Mikey before the nursing staff asked them to leave so Liz could rest. Climbing back into the truck, they gave one another gentle smiles until Michael pulled away from the hospital towards home. Twirling the ring around his finger, Alex tilted his face and gave him another smile.

                “Marriage, huh?” he asked.

                “Can’t get rid of me anymore,” Michael grinned. “My people have these rules. Once two people are joined together by marriage, their souls are bound for eternity. They can never be without the other person again.”

                Alex watched him for a moment before he started laughing. “You just made that up.”

                “No, man, I swear! It’s like a big law or something,” Michael insisted, unable to keep the smile off his own face.

                “What else does this law stipulate?”

                “Well, we can never leave each other. Stuck together for life,” Michael nodded. “There’s some stuff about sex in there too.”

                “Sex, really?” Alex asked. “Alien marriage laws that include sex?”

                “Hey, I didn’t make the rules,” Michael shrugged.

                “What exactly are the laws on Alien marriage sex?”

                Pulling behind a red light, Michael moved towards him across the bench, his breath ghosting over Alex’s face. “We need to have sex at least once every day.”

                Alex felt his smile soften and when Michael came to move back in his seat, he tugged him close and crashed their lips together. A honk from the car behind jolted them apart with a laugh as they made their way down the road again.

                “I decided what to do about the money, by the way.”

                Michael glanced over at him before facing the road again. “The house?”

                “Yeah,” Alex nodded, taking Michael’s free hand between his. “I want to build an orphanage near the ranch but not a cold building like the one in town. I want to build a home for all those kids that don’t have one, human or alien.”

                Michael looked over with a gentle smile, squeezing Alex’s hand.

                “I want the kids to work on the ranch with the horses,” Alex said as their gazes met. “They can’t be like us, Michael. They can’t grow up thinking the cruelty from the world is because of them. They can’t grow up thinking love doesn’t exist.”

                Lifting their locked hands to his mouth, Michael pressed a kiss to Alex’s knuckles.

                “It’s a great idea,” he smiled, making a turn down the road towards the house.

                Looking up in time, Alex stared at the sign Milex Ranch as they drove underneath it, a frown covering his face. Once the car was parked and they made their way outside, Michael started leading the way towards the front steps.

                “Indy will be happy to see you,” he snorted. “I swear, that horse blamed me for you leaving.”

                When he heard silence behind him, he turned around to see Alex had stopped several feet away.

                “What’s wrong?”

                Lifting his gaze, Alex watched him for a long moment before realization settled in his gaze.

                “Milex Ranch,” he started, shaking his head with a gentle laugh. “Michael and Alex?”

                Michael’s gaze softened as he looked up from under his lashes. “Took you long enough, Private.”

                With a smile that tugged at Michael’s heart in all the best ways, Alex closed the distance between them and slid their mouths together. Without breaking the kiss, he walked Michael backwards up the steps and into the house, the door falling shut behind them.


End file.
